The Queen of Rubies
by MelisandreStark
Summary: 'And of all those who wished for immortality, it is bestowed on she who resents it.' Catelyn Stark is resurrected, but instead of becoming the ugly, brutal, Lady Stoneheart she remains her previous self, her looks tricking everyone she meets. One thing has changed though; a hungry thirst for revenge.
1. Flowers

They stole him. Robb, her first babe, every time his big blue eyes had spilled with water she had been there to wipe them away. Why could she not help him any longer? The stole him away from her. They stole Sansa and Arya, Bran and Rickon, Ned. They stole everything.

Of course; she could not bring the dead back. But that did not mean she couldn't avenge them. Dreams of torturing Walder Frey, Roose Bolton, Tywin Lannister and any other person who had ever hurt her sweet babes. There was a price to pay, a price for hurting Catelyn Tully. She had a reputation for being completely devoted to her family, thinking with her heart not her head, just another pretty face with not much else about her. Her cheeks were tear stained as her eyes fluttered open, a group of men surrounded her.

"Hey, look over 'ere!" A man yelled, Catelyn wasn't sure what was happening. It had all been so dark, but her thoughts had never once settled. "She's finally wake...who would have ever thought Lady Stark would be mine?"

The stench of ale reached Catelyn, she gulped. Dragging herself to a sitting position proved itself to be a challenge, and let her eyes focus on her surroundings. The trees were swaying softly in the wind, and the breeze suddenly caught Catelyn, she shivered. The clothes she was wearing were minimal, no more than smallclothes, the cold attacked her like a dog on a bone. Opening her mouth to speak, the realisation hit her that her throat was to dry to produce a sound. Another man offered his arm, and she gratefully accepted it get to her feet. "Would you like somethin' to drink?" He offered, and Catelyn nodded gently. Her limbs felt sore, like she had been sleeping and was just getting them to work properly again.

She was presented with a small cup of water, and slowly it quenched her thirst. "Thank you." She nodded, very conscious that lots of men were staring at her in her smallclothes. Subconsciously her arms were wrapped around her chest, it was very uncomfortable for her. A flame had helped with the cold, but a chill still went down her spine as the memories of her son rushed through her mind. "Kind sir, may I ask your name?"

"Elden Rivers." The man smiled, Catelyn was grateful that at least one man wasn't staring at her like a common whore. "I believe you are Lady Stark?"

"My husband is dead, so perhaps I am no longer worthy of that title." Catelyn smiled sadly. "I don't mean to be rude, but do you have a change of clothes, I feel I am being less than modest at the moment."

Elden nodded as she blushed, but as soon as he left another man came closer to her. His teeth seemed almost rotten, but he was grinning anyway. Catelyn forced a smile but tried not to speak, she felt that throwing up at the sight of it would be rude. "Mornin'" He grinned. "You know, I av' a better change of clothes for you than Elden could ever get."

"You are kind, but I think one shall suffice." Catelyn replied, breaking eye contact with the man and hoping he would leave her in peace. He was scaring her a little. But he didn't move, he just took a knife from his pocket and sat beside her, a little too close. She gulped. "I appreciate your offer to help though..."The knife went down he back, a first she thought he was trying to stab her, but she felt no pain. The urge to scream was a strong one, but any more attention would be even worse for her. "What...what are you doing?" Catelyn stuttered, wrapping her arms even more tightly around herself.

The man pushed her to the floor and pressed the palm of his hand on her back. She whimpered in fear as he licked his lips. "I'm just givin' you a new outfit." He started pulling her dress up, she struggled to get out of his grip but he was too strong. The other men just stared at her, she pleaded for their help, but they just stared at her.

"Please, get of me, please!" She cried, as he pushed her head down to the dirt. "I made a vow to my husband...I beg of you..."

Her pleas stopped as he pulled the little clothes she was wearing up above her head, and she was frozen against the floor. Her body turned numb, she didn't realise that Elden had returned and was fighting the man off her, she didn't realise that she was being carried away. She didn't realised that she had been raped, until it was all over. All she knew was that Robb was gone, and Ned was gone, and she couldn't find anyone else. "I am so sorry about Ammett, he doesn't know what he's doing..."

"Ammett?"

"Ammett Flowers. He lived in Highgarden as a bastard once, married a girl called Catlina, but she cheated on him and he's hated her ever since. Apparently, you look a lot like her, which is why he...he-"

"He raped me?" Catelyn said without emotion, staring at the floor with eyes like glass. _Ammett Flowers_ She thought, getting the name to stick in her mind. _Ammett Flowers, bastard of Highgarden._ "I don't wish to be rude, but would you let me sleep? I am particularly tired today..."

"Of course, my Lady."Elden nodded, and left her alone in a little tent he had put up for her. This was one of the few times she wished that Ned had given her a direwolf, for protection against horrid people. Like Ammett. _Ammett Flowers._ All that came to Catelyn's mind were the heartbreaking memories of Robb's death; he had been so happy, with Jeyne, his new bride. So happy. So unlike how Catelyn's marriage had begun, but happy none the less. Jeyne was a pretty, nothing worth dying for in Catelyn's opinion, but still pretty in a more subtle way. At ten and four, Catelyn had been one of the great beauties of the seven kingdoms. The competition had been almost fierce at the time, as after the Targaryen's were all gone finding a good match got exceedingly difficult. Her little sister, Lysa, was always called the uglier daughter of Hostor, and was never much competition herself, but Cersei Lannister had always been a rival for her. In a sense, Cersei had won, she had married the king when Catelyn was married to Eddard Stark. But Cersei's marriage was not one of love, and Catelyn's was. So really, which of them had won could be debated.

The bed she was given was a little uncomfortable, but better than she had expected considering they had set up camp in a forest. Surprisingly, sleep hit her quite quickly, perhaps everything had been a little much. _Ammett Flowers._

 _On my honour as a Tully._

Tully. Her childhood as Tully had been very enjoyable, playing in the sun with Lysa. Her mother, Minisa Tully, had been caring and meant the world to Catelyn. But when she died everything had turned dark for a while. Once, she had heard a soldier say that Minisa's death with the beginning of the road of insanity for Lysa. The girl had only been little, but had erupted into tears when they saw a body being carried outside, the hair that escaped the blanket covering the corpse looked far too familiar. Catelyn had not shed a tear in front of her family, however, she stayed strong. Lady of Riverrun from the age of nine, she always had to be strong. " _Are you emotionless? You're a monster, you crazy bitch! Petyr loves you!"_

 _Petyr loves you._

 _Petyr loves you._

Those words had been hard to hear. Lysa was a love-struck teenage girl in love with her Father's ward, and Catelyn had let Petyr Baelish be sent away from Riverrun. The boy had professed his love the eldest Tully girl, foolishly, and challenged Brandon Stark to a duel for her heart. Catelyn didn't was a fight. She was to be Lady Stark, and Brandon was dreamy, Petyr had ruined everything. " _My Lord, please spare his life..."_ She had begged. Not because she cared for Petyr at that point, the urge to slap him had been extremely difficult to resist. For Lysa, who was clearly in love with the boy.

Petyr had been banished from Riverrun by Catelyn's Father, but not before getting Lysa pregnant. The young girl's face had lit up with joy as she realised she carried Petyr's child inside her, she thought that this meant she could wed Petyr. She had been so naïve.

 _"You're a monster, you crazy bitch!"_ was what Lysa had screamed at Catelyn when Petyr left Riverrun. It had hit Catelyn like a dagger to the heart, but no tears fell for Petyr, or Lysa. Moon tea killed Lysa's baby, and almost her along with it, and it had killed Catelyn to watch her sister in so much pain. They made up eventually, but it took time.

 _On my honour as a Stark._

The wedding day wasn't how she expected. Brandon Stark was was the first person Catelyn was betrothed to, she remembered how butterflies came from no where every time he stepped near her. How his smile made her heart fly out of her chest, and even Lysa looked upon him with jealousy to begin with. Brandon was amazing, but the prospect of living at Winterfell wasn't something that particularly appealed Catelyn. She was a child of the south, and the North was known for being harsh and cold. After all the time she spent at Winterfell, it had felt like more of a home than Riverrun. _Lady Catelyn, my name is Eddard Stark._

 _I knew what your name was._

 _I knew._

 _Of course I knew._

Of course she knew what his name was, her beloved Brandon had just been killed, but Hoster Tully was determined to join with house Stark. Eddard was the next best thing. But Catelyn did not cry, she was not sad at the prospect of marrying him. Focusing on Lysa was her priority at that point, Lysa needed her help. Jon Arryn was an elderly man, and marrying him to a little girl didn't seem fair, did it? Perhaps it was her Father's punishment for sleeping with Petyr. Ned wasn't as tall as his elder brother, wasn't as loud or as charismatic, so the bedding process had been painfully awkward.

Now, just a second with Ned would have been worth the world. A second with her family, with Ned and Robb and Sansa and Arya and Bran and Rickon. Ripped away from her like Cersei had ripped Robert's last command. _Cersei Lannister. Cersei Lannister._ The say Sansa came into the world was the first time Catelyn had been happy to see Ned, since bringing Jon Snow into the castle. She remembered how they had beamed at the little girl, Tully in colouring but Stark in heart. They had let Robb come and see her, but he didn't want to see Sansa. He wanted to play with Jon Snow.

 _Jon Snow. Jon Stark._

Why had she been so cruel? He was an innocent child and she treated him like a criminal. It was her fault, for breaking her promise to the gods so long ago, for breaking her promise to the poor, poor little boy. _His name should be Jon Stark._

 _I will trade your boy's life for Robb's._

The King in the North. A cluster of words that should never have been spoken. He was just a boy, never supposed to be a King. War had crept it's way into his life, stabbing him in the back until it bled to much. Every drop of blood, every betrayal, every innocent man murdered at the hands of Walder Frey was an innocent man too many. What could she have done, to save him? Kept him from the twins, sent him to Winterfell like she was punishing an infant? The boy needed to make mistakes to learn, but some mistakes are to severe to learn from. When you die. _You betrayed me, Mother._

 _You betrayed me._

 _Mother._

How she wished Robb could have know about her freeing the kingslayer. He would have never understood the lengths she was willing to go to in order to free Sansa and Arya, her precious girls, two pieces of her ever decaying heart. If slaying every Lannister living would have gotten them back, then she would have done it with her own hands. _Lannister..._

 _Tywin Lannister._

What a brilliant idea. Would Tywin Lannister have her killed if she turned up at court? She was a traitor of the crown. A beautiful traitor of the crown, nonetheless, the mother of the North who's daughter was a member of court. _Her daughter._ The memory of when that was new came rushing back. The first time Sansa had called Catelyn 'Mother' was something she remembered as clearly as the day just passed. Every one of her children had called her 'Mother' for the first time, and each moment had reserved it's place in her memory. Robb would never call her Mother again. At this rate, no one would ever call her Mother again. She needed to find Sansa, and Arya if she was still alive. Her sons may be gone, but if there was one thing she had learnt after all this time, it was that women were just as strong as men, if not stronger.

 _A son for a son._

Her sons were all gone now. Rickon and Bran were still small children, her little Rickon had still toddled through Winterfell when Theon Greyjoy had killed them. And Bran, her Bran, the boy who fell from the tower. He was a cripple, but Catelyn loved him no less, she sat next to him for months with barely any sleep and no appetite for food. Her appetite was something that still hadn't returned, at nine years she had eaten every cake she could get her hands on, now the sight of one repulsed her. All she wanted was to be snuggled up in bed with Ned, Sansa and Robb sat on the floor of her bedroom, and the others in bed with their parents. _You're not going to leave me, are you Mother?_

 _You're not going to leave me._

 _Leave me._

That was what Sansa had said when Catelyn had been pregnant with Arya. Pregnancy was never something that Catelyn particularly enjoyed, the sickness and the swollen feet were never much joy. Sansa had been so convinced she would die in the childbed, so mature about the situation from such a young age. But the feeling of having a child growing inside you was something a man could never understand, perhaps one day Sansa would feel it too. With Tyrion. The Imp.

The fear of dying in childbirth had only been an issue when expecting Sansa and Robb, because that was when she didn't completely trust him. After that, she knew Ned would take care of them well, so her presence wasn't as vital. The comfort Ned had given her during her pregnancy with Arya, he had made her calm and comforted, like everything was going to be okay. There was no longer any time to feel calm and comforted, Ned was gone. A new son had risen, in Catelyn's mind, and with it a sense of revenge was brought.

She woke up with a start, her dreams of her family had left her sweating with tears still wet on her cheeks. _Ammett Flowers._ The name rang in her head like a nursery rhyme sung to children. _Ammett Flowers._ She stepped out of the tent, the only light was coming from the moon, it was almost refreshing against her pale skin, she smiled. But the smile turned dark. Ammett's tent was just to her left, she could have smell the stench of ale from his skin from a mile away. Her feet were bare but it didn't bother her, it felt good to fell the grass shoots against her skin. Inside, there was a sword, a dagger and some armour thrown across the floor very messily. At first, Catelyn picked up the sword. It was heavy and didn't feel right, it was uncomfortable to hold so she neatly put it back on the floor. The dagger, on the other hand, was much nicer, she tossed it in the air a few times as she found the right balance.

Ammett's eyes flashed open as he felt Catelyn's hand brush through is hair, her hand was over his mouth like she was comforting a terrified child. "Ammett, isn't it?" She asked, receiving a firm and terrified nod. "My name is Catelyn Stark, daughter of Hostor Tully of Riverrun, and widow of Lord Eddard Stark. Look in my eyes. Do you see that? Because it's the last thing you'll ever see.

The dagger slid across his neck so smoothly that it seemed she was icing a cake, the blood poured out onto her hands and she wiped them on his smallclothes. She left his tent, the dagger still firmly in her left hand, and picked a horse from the few that were tied up against a tree. The horse made a gentle noise as Catelyn brushed through it's mane. "I'll call you Visenya." Catelyn told it quietly. "Arya was going to call her direwolf Visenya, but settled on Nymeria instead. I always thought Visenya was prettier."

The Lady rode off into the night, her destination was King's Landing. _Sansa._ She thought. _I'm coming._

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 _Would anyone like this as a story? Please review...:)_


	2. Knives

**Okay so I know there are tons of other fics with this kinda storyline, but I promise it won't similar and Catelyn's revenge is still coming...**

 **I'd love to hear what people hope could happen in this story, to be honest not much is overly planned so I'd love to hear your ideas! Updates will come basically as soon as I can, but I have school and these take a while to write. I'm only 14, so I'm sorry if this story is genuinely awful, I will try and update once a week minimum, if I can Xx**

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Seeing her standing there was a shock to many, but it shook Tywin down to his very core. She was dead, Lady Catelyn Stark was killed, yet she was standing right in front of him with a serious frown on her face. "Lord Tywin." She bowed her head. The only thing giving her confidence was Ammett's dagger, that was buried inside her corset, in a fashion so that it couldn't hurt her. It had been a fairly long journey to King's Landing, but she had not let herself rest for too long or eat anything unnecessary. She would not waste time. Sansa needed her, especially now that King Joffrey had passed her over for Margaery Tyrell. _I wish I could cut your throat right here for what you did to Robb..._

"Lady Catelyn, forgive me...but how did you...get...become-" He stuttered, making Catelyn grin. The uncertainty in his eyes was unforgettable. And if she looked deeper into those green eyes, fear was detected. Tywin Lannister scared of Ned Stark's Lady wife. The irony of it. "What brings you to King's Landing? He said finally.

"I find that life is too short for pointless questions, My Lord." Catelyn looked around to see eyes on her, the Lord's and Lady's of court. They did things differently in the North, if you wanted to see the person in charge then it would be dealt with politely and with civil manor, rather than being thrust in front of strangers who gawked and gossiped. _This was Lysa's life once,_ Catelyn thought suddenly. Her sister had been the Hand's wife, most of her life had been spent here where the sun often shone and the streets were filled with thieves and whores from all over the seven kingdoms. _Oh, how I do hate it._ "I have a daughter, Sansa. I wish to see her, and then take her home to Winterfell."

"Life is too short for pointless requests also, Lady Stark." Tywin mutter very seriously, a few of the ladies in the 'audience' chuckled at that, so Catelyn shot them a nasty glare. Obviously, Catelyn was very aware that Tywin would never let her and Sansa just walk out of the door. If he had, Catelyn might have insited they stay in King's Landing just a few days more, just to insure they weren't about to be murdered. _It's not about me._ Catelyn reminded herself. _It's about Sansa. This is all for Sansa._ "However, I'm sure we can come to an agreement. I can provide you with rooms for tonight, however you may not visit Lady Sansa until...terms...are decided on."

"What kind of terms?"

Tywin stood up and nodded at some knights, they started to step towards Catelyn. "I don't know what kind of terms. I haven't decided yet."

Not wanting any 'encouragement' from the knights to move, Catelyn begun to walk out of the hall, but not before she could look back and see the people giggling and whispering. Stopping in her tracks, she spun around and took a last look at the King's Hand. "Lord Tywin, I suggest you rid your room of these people. They make me want to fucking kill myself."

A gasp went through the room as Catelyn's language took an un-ladylike turn, but she just grinned. _Stay ten steps ahead, and you can't lose._ The Blackfish had told her that once, when she was still young at Riverrun. _Ten steps ahead._

The room she was presented with was larger than she expected, with red silk curtains and a bouquet of red flowers on the window sill. _How very Lannister of them, s_ he mused. The guards soon left the room, but she could sense them standing by her door, it was only what could have been expected, once they were outside she stashed the knife underneath her pillow, getting it out of her corset as well as she could without stripping off completely. A servant girl stepped into the room, she had white-blonde hair and blue eyes, blue eyes just like Robb had. _Robb, how I miss you._ If Catelyn hadn't known any better, she would have thought the girl was of Targaryen descent. "My Lady." The girl bowed. "My name is Amorea, Lord Tywin has instructed me to run you a bath."

Feeling no need to protest, Catelyn nodded and let the girl start. _Amorea._ It was a pretty name, not something she had heard of before, but pretty nonetheless. She had always wanted to call her daughter's something pretty, but Ned had chosen their names. _A shame - Minisa would have been perfect._ Considering the events of the Red Wedding, Catelyn was surprised Lord Tywin was treating her so nicely. Though, she was also surprised at herself. The temptation to run at him as they were speaking had been difficult to resist, but she had kept her composure like any proper Lady should have. Well - until she swore at almost everyone in the room. _I'll just forget about that,_ Catelyn smiled to herself.

Catelyn closed her eyes as the water warmed her, a bath was something she had missed. "Having fun, Lady Stark?"

Her eyes shot open and her hands rushed to cover her modesty as the voice of Jaime Lannister rang in her head. "Do you not have the curtesy to knock?" She snapped, as Amorea rushed over with a sheet to cover her. Catelyn's face was one of rage, but Jaime just smirked at her.

"Don't be afraid Lady Stark, I am not here to embarrass you." Jaime's smile widened further as Catelyn rolled her eyes. "I'm here to talk to you about my Father's terms."

"Why, is Lord Tywin to much of a coward to address me himself?" Catelyn spat as Amorea started to dress her behind the sheet. As soon as she was dressed enough, Jaime stepped closer to her and Amorea left the room. A coward was something Tywin Lannister certainly was not, but sending Jaime to see Catelyn seemed awfully out of character. Not that Catelyn knew Tywin that well; his reputation spoke for himself though, he was no craven.

Jaime pulled a piece of paper from under his doublet, and opened it up. "Lord Tywin Lannister, Hand of the King, Lord of Casterly Rock and Warden of the west has several terms you must agree to meet in order for you to be reunited with your daughter." Jaime started, he was speaking more seriously than Catelyn had ever heard him before. "I personally think that my Father is being a little extreme, and managed to talk him out of requesting you to announce to the people of King's Landing that you had always hated Ned Stark, I didn't think you'd like that."

"I loved Ned, I loved him and your wretched sister and nephew stole him from me." She had to stop tears welling up in her eyes; she would not let the Kingslayer see her weakness, not now. "You cannot deny nor try to hide that, Ser Jaime. I would never agree to such a thing." _How could he think such things, Ned is my love and I will forever be faithful to him._

He nodded and sat down on the bed. "I know. That's why I made him take that one off the list." His throat was cleared before he continued to read. "Firstly, you must declare your allegiance to King Joffrey."

"I already have, the Stark's are sworn to the Iron Throne." Catelyn walked to the window and rested her arms by it, looking out to see the sun start to sink. "But...I suppose I could do that." _That boy had Ned killed..._

"Secondly, you will act as Prince Tommen and Princess Myrcella's surrogate mother during King Joffrey's reign, as the Queen Regent has to put all her focus in helping the king." Jaime read, making Catelyn smirk. _So, the Queen can't even take care of her own children,_ the thought of it did lighten her spirits, if only a little.

"Yes. I may not be overly fond of Cersei, but her children are different. I shall do that." Taking care of Tommen and Myrcella wouldn't be so bad, they were still fairly young, and Catelyn always loved children. Taking care of children was a skill bestowed to her at a very young age, as her little brother Edmure had been without a Mother, and she was the Lady of Riverrun. "Is that all that Lord Tywin asks of me?"

"There is one more thing." Jaime frowned. "You see, I was to be the heir of Casterly Rock, but after joining the kingsguard I left that behind and it went to Tyrion. My Father refuses to give Tyrion his title, but has no other male heir."

"What has that got to do with me?" Catelyn asked, opening the window so the cold night air could cool her. In Winterfell the cold had been so overbearing that without Ned to warm her Catelyn would have probably frozen to death. Now, any touch of cold she felt was comforting. "Lord Tywin's heir is of no relevance to me, I have brought five children into this world and am happy to leave it at that."

Jaime sighed and walked up to the window where she was standing, leaving the paper behind on the bed. "He wants to marry you. So you can provide him with an heir. As long as you are married and behaved, you shall be allowed to see Sansa whenever you like-"

"You do not need to explain your Father's decision, Ser Jaime." _Marry him. Of course. 'Unite the North and South',_ she mulled over the idea in her head. "What will become of me if I refuse? Shall I be taken to Ilyn Payne and have me head removed like my dear Ned, or shall Sansa receive that punishment?"

"I don't know." Jaime admitted. He seemed to feel almost sorry for Catelyn, he knew better than anyone that marrying Lord Tywin would never turn out a fairy tale ending. Jaime's mother, Joanna Lannister, had been Tywin's true love, and no one could ever replace her in his mind. That was why he never re-married, but he was growing older, and he needed a new heir, duty was calling him. Catelyn was perfect; beautiful with her Tully features, and young enough to produce a son for him. In theory, it was perfect. "But he is very clear about what he wants."

"Alright." Catelyn nodded. "This isn't about me seeing Sansa, is it? Not anymore."

Jaime walked back over to the bed and rolled up the paper, running a hand through his golden hair while he thought of a response. "Perhaps not." He paused, thinking about how he could convince her to marry his Father without making her hate him. A gust of wind blew into the room, her auburn locks were blown upwards revealing blackened bruises on the back of her neck. Jaime had seen a few other bruises on her leg while she was in the bath, but he chose not to stare at the rest of her body; he wasn't that bad. "My Lady, you must understand that in the long term my Father is doing what is best for his house. Doing what is best for the realm."

 _For the realm. For his house._ Of course he would say that. _Rather, to humiliate me._ "What about my houses, Ser Jaime?" Catelyn questioned harshly. Her tone almost stung to listen too. "My three sons are dead, my husband is dead, Arya is missing and Sansa is being held captive here, and I can't even see her without conforming to your Father's crazy demands. House Stark is as good as dead, but that doesn't matter, does it? I'm Catelyn Stark, Ned Stark's little wife who lives to serve, the woman who let the kingslayer free. The woman who thinks with her heart, not her head. The woman who was to stupid and weak to save Robb...and Bran...and little Rickon..." He voice broke at the sound of her son's names, and she spun back around before Jaime could see the tears that had fallen onto her cheeks.

"My Lady, I cannot bring your sons back. But, with my Father, you can have a new one." Was all Jaime could say.

"I don't want a fucking new one." Catelyn pushed the flowers off the window sill and the vase smashed on the floor, water seeping into the rug underneath her feet. "I will swear fealty to the crown, I will care for Tommen and Myrcella as if they were my own if I must. You have my word." Her head suddenly felt lighter, the room started to spin, but she gripped the window frame to keep herself standing. "I will not..." She stumbled as the room spun faster and faster around her. "I cannot..."

Her hand lost its grip on the window and she fell onto the ground, Jaime catching her before she could meet the floor. After Jaime called for Amorea, the girl rushed off to find Grand Maester Pycelle to see to her. The second the Old Maester put a finger on her skin her eyes shot open. Apparently she had only been unconscious for a few minutes, but it had been enough to worry Amorea and Jaime. "I'd think it best that I check you, just to make sure everything is alright." Pycelle said, his voice was old and stuttered, but something about it made Catelyn cringe. _This man is Cersei's slave..._

Catelyn backed away, pulling her legs into her chest. "Don't _touch_ me..." She spat. Pycelle protested weakly, but didn't appear to have a significant interest in checking her, so ended up leaving fairly quickly. Expecting Amorea and Jaime to leave with him, she decided to close her eyes and try and wash out all bad memories, just for a moment. A moment was not granted, and Jaime was still sitting on her bed.

"My Lady, before I leave you in peace, I must ask you something." The look she gave him was harsher than she had intended, but in all honesty she just wanted him to leave. _Why does everyone in this castle want to see me apart from Sansa? Does Sansa even know I'm here?_ Realising she wasn't going to reply, he continued. "I noticed some...damage, to the back of your neck and your legs. I don't mean to be rude at all, but I must ask; how did you acquire these injuries?"

"I...The Twins. They weren't very kind to me, Ser Jaime. They beat me." Catelyn tried to think of the best reply she could, but Jaime raised an eyebrow, clearly he did not appear convinced. "The Frey's killed my son and all his men. What makes you think he let me out without a scar nor bruise?"

"One of his men slit your throat, and then your naked dead body was thrown in a river." Obviously, Catelyn had no memory of being thrown naked into a river, but the throat slitting was in the back of her mind. At the time, she had been thankful for it. A sweet release to the afterlife where she could see Ned again, Robb, her father and Mother, Bran and Rickon, all the people she had lost. Being able to hold her family in her arms, knowing that no harm would ever befall them again. No such release was received, it was all black. Black and dark and horrible. "Though clearly, that didn't happen either."

"I was raped, is that what you want to hear?" Her temper snapped like stick as he was more patient than she'd been told. Not that he had been overly patient, it was just she wasn't very patient with anyone anymore. "I was raped by a bastard of Highgarden, and when he was done I came to his tent and slit his throat while he slept. Is that was you wish to hear, Ser Jaime? Stories of my misery? Does this bring a smile to your face?"

He left without another word, and Catelyn finally let herself relax on her bed completely. Physically, she hadn't been this comfortable since she last saw her uncle Brynden at Riverrun, her bed was cosy, with the fresh sheets that had been cooled from the wind drifting through the window. _On my honour as a Tully. On my honour as a Stark._ The words rang in her head like the bells in the great sept, mentally making insanity creep nearer. Catelyn wished Sansa was with her, so she could take her little girl in her arms and protect her.

But she couldn't protect her. _I'm a Mother, not a warrior._

Sliding Ammett's knife out from under the pillow, she threw it at the wall. It didn't hit it very well, fell to the floor with a small crash, Catelyn got herself up and picked it up. She threw it again, it missed again. The third time, the knife wedged itself in the wall and Catelyn felt a little proud of herself. _Stay ten steps ahead,_ she reminded herself, and threw the knife until the wall was dented and her accuracy had significantly improved, even though it had taken a good few hours. She was surprised a guard hadn't come in to see what all the noise was about. It wasn't amazing, it had only been one night and it was something that took years to perfect, but it was better than nothing. Catelyn thought about covering up the wall, but realised that she truly couldn't be bothered. Wasn't her castle; wasn't her responsibility. _Gods, that is something Arya would say._

Hiding her knife back under her pillow, her eyes finally closed to rest. Her dreams did not bring her peace, rather they haunted her with all the tragedy that had befallen her since Ned left Winterfell. _Help me, my love. Show me what to do..._


	3. Innocents

"And with that, Visenya and Rhaenys helped their brother rule across the seven kingdoms, the first Targaryens in Westeros." Grand Maester Pycelle read aloud, Myrcella and Tommen looked as if they were about to fall asleep. They missed their Mother; they had barely seen her since Joffrey had been crowned king, and with their Father gone they had no one but each other for real company. Myrcella had liked the company of Sansa Stark, but her Mother had told her that Stark's were not to be trusted. Stay away from them, it seemed wiser. Though at this point, she would have rather been with any Stark or even a Targaryen to escape the boredom.

A knock on the door made their heads shoot up, Pycelle frowned as he opened the door. "What on earth is this about? The prince and princess are in lessons!"

"I am very sorry to interrupt, Grand Maester." Catelyn tried to make her smile look as sincere as possible. She had never spoken to Myrcella and Tommen properly before, and now she was supposed to act as their surrogate Mother. _At least it's better than marrying Tywin, though that's still coming. And at least it's not Joffrey._ "May I borrow the prince and princess? Lord Tywin thought that it would be best that they take a break, walk the grounds."

"Oh please, Maester!" Myrcella pleaded , getting up and tugging at his robes. "Let the nice Lady walk us around." Myrcella clearly didn't recognise Catelyn, but the pure desperation to escape her lessons would have been enough to let any complete stranger take her away. Tommen, however, seemed more cautious.

"Who are you?" His head was held high, in an attempt to make him look older than he was. It was sweet, it reminded Catelyn of Bran. _Bran...what did they do to you? My poor, sweet, innocent, Bran._

"Lady Catelyn Stark, your grace." She bowed her head. "You may have met my daughter, Lady Sansa?"

"I like Sansa." Myrcella said as she skipped out and they begun to walk to the gardens, Tommen was trailing them, his eyebrows knitted together in slight confusion. "Her hair is really pretty, it looks like yours, My Lady. If you don't mind me asking, why are you here? I haven't seen you around the castle before."

"I am to-" Catelyn gulped before managed to find the words within herself. "Wed your grandfather, Lord Tywin. Soon. I thought that it would be nice to meet my future...family." The word 'family' itself made Catelyn swallow back tears. _They will never be my family. You took my family away. And they were everything._ "So, tell me something about yourselves. Tommen?"

Tommen stopped, looking up at the sky as he pondered. A little gentleman, though it was only what could have been expected from a prince. "I like cats." He stated finally. "I like black cats. And red ones, and white ones, and the ones with different colours on it. Mother said she might get me one for my name day."

Catelyn smiled. It had been a while since she'd seen someone so honest, so calm, so peaceful. Everyone she'd seen since her own children was manipulative and two faced, and it was almost satisfying to talk to someone that didn't have bad intentions. "I've never had a cat myself. I have my own horse though, her name is Visenya. And you met the direwolves that used to belong to my children, do you remember?"

A shudder ran through Myrcella's spine. "I remember." She sighed. "They were scary. I have a horse, I called him Joyer. My Father said it was important that I learnt to ride, but I don't really like it."

They stopped by a patch of roses, Catelyn picked one and put it in Myrcella's hair. The princess had taken an instant liking to her; partly because she had freed her of Pycelle's lessons, and partly because it was nice to have someone talk to her like she was grown up. _You'll never be my daughter though, never ever._

Tommen led them to a bench in the shade, he liked it because that was where all the cats were sleeping. Myrcella told Catelyn the detailed tale of the last time she saw her cousin, Shireen. Catelyn herself had never met Shireen, and after Myrcella's description she wasn't sure that she wanted to."Half of her face is covered in these gray scaly...stuff. It looked like a rock. Mother wouldn't tell me what it was, she said she didn't want to frighten me. I can't imagine she's very happy about it. Shireen spends all her time reading, everytime I tried to play with her she would just wrinkle her nose, like I was too stupid for her. Every time Father made us visit Uncle Stannis I always tried to pretend I was ill, so I didn't have to see Shireen."

 _Sansa, where are you? My sweet babe, why do they hide you so? What have they done to you?_

"Lady Catelyn, are you listening?" Myrcella asked, and Catelyn shook her head suddenly and nodded

"Yes child, I apologise, my thoughts just carried me elsewhere." _On my honour as a Tully, On my honour as a Stark._ The last words she'd said with Robb alive stuck in her head. Perhaps she wasn't alive either; she certainly felt dead inside. _No, live on, for Sansa._ "Princess, may I ask you a question?"

Myrcella nodded. "Of course."

"What do you know of your grandfather, Lord Tywin. Is he...kind to you, kind to his family, and my daughter?" Perhaps the princess was a way of finding out everything that went on in the castle.

"Grandfather is very nice to us." Tommen said, even though it wasn't directed at him. "He always gives us gifts, and he and Father were the only ones who could stop Joffrey being horrible to us. Joffrey was horrible to everyone, but he isn't to us if Grandfather is around. He isn't as horrible to Sansa when Grandfather is here either. Grandfather speaks to Lady Sansa in her chambers, about her brothers and her sisters. Her Mother and Father, at least that's what Mother told me. Mother didn't want him talking to Lady Sansa."

 _Why would he want to speak to Sansa?_ "That is kind." Catelyn agreed, cocking her head to the left slightly. "I'd best take you back to Grand Maester Pycelle now, before he gets angry at me." The children chuckled at that. Catelyn loved being able to make children laugh, but they weren't her own. Perhaps she could learn to care for these children like her own, but they would never _be_ her own. Besides, Catelyn wanted to escape King's Landing as soon as possible.

* * *

"The dark days are over, for my kingdoms." Joffrey announced to his Mother and Grandfather. "I want them to be done."

Tywin sighed at his naive grandson. How could Cersei have raised someone like _that?_ The boy was cruel and heartless, without a shred of emotion for any of his family. "Just because you declare something is so, doesn't make it true. There are many challenges to come, whether you like it or not."

"Well, they would have been over if it wasn't for you, letting _that_ woman stay in King's Landing." Cersei spat. Cersei had always hated Catelyn, she was just as pretty, but considered by many to be much kinder and honourable. "Why don't you just have her killed, I'd be happy to-"

"Stop." Tywin stood up, he sighed again. Every time he was alone with his daughter and grandson there was a lot of sighing involved. "Lady Catelyn will be here in a minute, I invited her."

"YOU DID WHAT?" Cersei screamed. "Do you have no morals, Father! She is the Mother of the North and widow of Ned Stark, she is a traitor of the crown. You want her to sit with the King? _Your_ King?"

Joffrey stood up. "I demand to know why she is coming!"

"I wish I knew." Catelyn said, as they all spun around to face her. She still refused to wear the red dress Lord Tywin had provided her with, instead sticking with her Stark grey, knife neatly tucked into her corset just in case she ever got attacked. In truth, she was surprised that Cersei hadn't already attempted to kill her. "Lord Tywin, why am I here?"

Tywin pulled out a chair for Catelyn, in the corner of her eye Cat could see Cersei rolling her eyes. _Stupid cow._ From there, Tywin told the king about his plans to marry and how Catelyn was supposed to take care of Myrcella and Tommen. The rage in Cersei was extreme. It made Catelyn happy. They spoke of all these things Catelyn was doing for the Lannister's, but Sansa's name wasn't brought up once. _Do the honestly think I would do any of this out of loyalty to the crown?_ Joffrey really didn't seem to care than Catelyn was coming into the family, though he was still to young to properly understand anything apart from death apparently. The meeting ended soon enough, Catelyn was relieved.

After bowing at the King and starting to leave the room, a hand landed on her shoulder. The touch made her shudder, any touch made her shudder ever since she had met the bastard of Highgarden. _Late bastard of Highgarden,_ she reminded herself. "Lady Catelyn." Joffrey was the one talking, she would have recognised his voice from a mile away. Just a little boy to the eye of the public, the boy that had Ned _executed._ "I just wanted to say how lovely it is to have you in the castle. I always did find the Stark's great company."

 _Is that why you chopped my husbands head off?_ Catelyn wanted to scream. _Is that why you ruined all my family's lives you sadistic, cruel, malevolent little shit?_ "The pleasure is completely mine, my king." Catelyn put on the best smile she could. It killed her to say the words.

"You'll be a good grandmother, I'm sure, though you're still pretty enough to be my bride if chose it." That comment alone was enough to make Catelyn gag. Joffrey strolled off to find his Mother and Catelyn escaped the Lannister's as fast as she could. Unfortunately, after escaping three Lannister's, she ran into another.

"Lady Stark!" Jaime spoke to her like they were long time friends. In truth, he was the closet thing Catelyn had to a friend in the castle. She couldn't trust anyone in the castle at all, but was slowly learning who she could rely on more. At the present, it was Jaime and her handmaiden, Amorea. Though, she still didn't know Amorea's true intentions."I was just looking for you. I have good news."

"I severely doubt it." Catelyn hadn't heard a single piece of good news since she had awoken in a muddy forest with a group of strange men.

"My lord Father is giving you permission to visit the Lady Sansa." Her eyes lit up, she wasn't a happy enough woman to smile, but it was a small drop of light on the darkness all the same. "As long as I am present."

"Does Sansa know that she's allowed to see me?" Catelyn asked, as Jaime took her arm and started to walk her to Sansa's chambers. Ever since Catelyn's arrival, Sansa had been kept within her chambers more strictly to avoid her accidently running into her Mother.

"Sansa thinks your dead."

Catelyn froze in the middle of the corridor, shaking her head. "Excuse me?"

"My lord Father thought that there was a large chance you wouldn't agree to his terms. In which case, he thought it would be wrong to get the girl's hopes up." Jaime explained. "It is too late to change that now. Besides, she waits for you as we speak."

Jaime pushed the door open, Sansa was asleep on top of her bedsheets with her dress still on. Catelyn had never seen her take a nap mid-afternoon before, though the red keep was enough to drain energy out of anybody. She looked so peaceful, it melted Catelyn's heart to think of what she might be dreaming. The terrors and injustice she had been put through. _That we've all been through._ Catelyn knelt beside her sleeping daughter and let a tear fall onto her cheek, not caring that Jaime could see. Gently, she shook Sansa's arm and the girl's eyes fluttered open. "Sansa, sweetling. Open your eyes."

Sansa turned to face her Mother and smiled. "I haven't had a dream like this in a while." More tears ran down Catelyn's face, but her daughter's smile turned to anger. Her cheeks started to redden and she looked positively fuming. Catelyn had never seen her so angry. "HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME MOTHER?" Sansa's screams were deafening, Catelyn sobbed onto the sheets. "HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME HERE WHEN I NEEDED YOU?" The younger girl had tears threatening as well, but did her best to keep them from spilling. Catelyn gripped her hands tight and kissed them softly.

"I never meant to, my sweet. But know that this is no dream. I am a horrible Mother, I have left you alone when you had no one and no longer deserve your love. But please, my sweet, sweet girl. Know I love you, and know that everything breath I take is for you."

Sansa blinked in confusion, putting a hand to her Mother's cheek. "No." Her head started to shake softly, growing with more speed. "No, no, no, no, no. The Queen told me your body was seen at the twins, that you were...thrown...into a river. You abandoned me in this world Mother, you are gone, this is a dream...this has to be a dream..."

Catelyn gripped the pale, fragile hands a little harder and looked into her brave girl's eyes. She could sense Jaime looking at them from the corner of the room in disbelief, he had never seen a mother-daughter relationship quite like this. "I am as real as I was back in Winterfell."

In a sudden change of tune, Sansa hugged Catelyn. "I'm sorry Mother, I wasn't really angry at you...It's just-"

"Shh, sweetling." Catelyn held her in a comforting manor, making sure that she could feel safe. "I'm here now and I'm not leaving. You are my sole purpose right now." Catelyn moved her lips closer to Sansa's ears, so Jaime couldn't hear. "And once we leave this place, we can find your sister..."

"I love you, Mother. Promise you won't leave me again?"

"I would rather die than leave you to suffer again, my sweet." Catelyn pulled back from their hug and took a strand of Sansa's hair in her hand. It was very similar to her own, but lighter, more red. "But I will not hide anything from you, either. I have sinned, my sweet. I have done so many _awful_ things. And will do so many more. You see, child, I have been unfaithful to your father. A man pinned me down to the floor and he..." She paused, thinking about her word choice more carefully. "I think you can guess what he did. Willing or not, I was unfaithful."

Sansa put a hand over her mouth and cried out, even Jaime looked like he was pitying Catelyn. "Mother...you can't possibly blame yourself for that..."

"I slit his throat while he slept." Sansa's eyes widened even further. "I killed someone, my sweet. I have sinned greatly, and I ask your undeserved forgiveness. You see, sweetling, I must sin again. In order for me to see you today, Lord Tywin had given me a list of demands. Most are insignificant, in truth. But...he wants me to...marry him. Provide him with an heir."

"He can't!" Sansa gasped. "You already have five children. You can't possibly have anymore!"

"I'm not that old." Jaime sniggered at that, but Catelyn ignored him. "And I hope that I can be of use to him." That statement was almost as big of a lie as she had told Joffrey, but Jaime was still present, and she was very aware of that. "But you are my priority. You may not see it that way, but everything I have ever done is for you and Arya and your brothers. In truth, I have been quite the awful Mother. I have allowed my sons to be..." The words were to hard to say out loud at this point. _Murdered, massacred, burnt, stabbed and stolen._ "And with Arya gone, you are all I have. So, I intend to show how worthy I am to be your Mother, and hope that one day you can forgive me for all my sins."

"Forgiven." Sansa hugged her Mother again. "I admit, you may not be the best Mother. But better than any other I've met. They are all crap, all crapper than you."

"A lady does not say rude words." Catelyn raised her eyebrows and Sansa flushed her cheeks. Jaime started laughing.

"Lady Catelyn, I've seen you swear in front of the entire court!" He was still laughing, and Catelyn shot him a glare.

Sansa gasped, but she was laughing as well. "Mother! You didn't!"

"Sometimes foul language is necessary." Was all she could say in defence

"I'd hardly call it necessary-"

"Thank you, Ser Jaime." Catelyn snapped, shutting the knight up. Sansa was still giggling, and that did bring a smile to Catelyn's face. Through all the horror and death, her little girl was laughing. How she wished this moment would last forever. It must have been strange for Sansa to hear such tales about her Mother, especially considering how proper Catelyn had been when they lived in Winterfell. _Sansa, please forgive me._


	4. Lions

"Lady Catelyn this, Lady Catelyn that, Lady Catelyn requires more protection, Lady Catelyn requires more dresses." Cersei mocked, her nose twitching as she spoke it. She was walking the gardens with Joffrey, expressing her anger for the woman she hated. Perhaps she hated Catelyn more for being betrothed to her father. She was to provide him with an heir. _Her_ filthy blood mixed with that of a Lannister. The very thought was enough to make Cersei wretch.

"I think Lady Catelyn is rather attractive." Joffrey was ripping the petals off a pink rose and watching them trail on the ground, cursing every time he felt one of the spikes on the stem. "I may have to visit her chambers one night, let her _really_ get to know her king." He snorted.

Cersei looked appalled. "You wouldn't dare, Joff!"

"Do _not_ tell me what to do." Joffrey warned through gritted teeth. His Mother may be Queen Regent, but he was the King. "Perhaps I shall go tonight, just to spite you."

Deciding to pick her battles, Cersei stayed silent for a moment. After many years of knowing Joffrey, she had learned it was best to hide your intentions with flowery words. "It wouldn't be advisable. Your Grandfather shall wed her within a week, he probably wouldn't like you being with Lady Catelyn before him."

"It's not like I would be taking her maidenhead." Joffrey rolled his eyes. "Besides, she could carry my first bastard. She would be _honoured_ to carry my child I'm sure. Grandfather should be grateful that I find his new bride so desirable to me. Though, I suppose it would only the lengthen the time she could produce an heir to Casterly Rock. Perhaps I will leave her be, just for now."

Cersei was very relieved he had chosen to leave Catelyn alone. Not because she feared for Ned Stark's widow at all, but the thought of her carrying his child wasn't something she wished to never become reality. "Your Grandfather is in his solar, he requested you come to see him." Cersei muttered.

"I shall go then." Joffrey announced, turning suddenly and beginning to walk back to the castle. Cersei remained in the gardens and went over to a bench to sit, crying softly against her dress. Was it fair that her Father was to wed the awful Stark woman? She wasn't _that_ pretty, was she? Her _stupid_ long auburn hair and kind Tully blue eyes... _it wasn't fair!_ Cersei was no longer the prettiest woman in court, and she planned to do something about it.

* * *

Catelyn had finally caved in and worn the red dress, at the _special_ request of Lord Tywin. She had protested, but Amorea feared she would be punished if she disobeyed. Catelyn wasn't a woman to see the innocent punished. The dress itself was made of red silk, with a gold trim and gold accents along the neck line, the neck line a lot deeper than she was used to. It exposed her breasts so much she felt a little like a whore. _Oh well, perhaps that is for the best._ She certainly didn't want Sansa to see her like that.

Her hair was done in a simple style, leaving most of it hanging down her back. "You look truly beautiful, my Lady." Amorea said as she brushed the last of her hair.

"Thank you, child." Catelyn's smile was bittersweet. In a way, she hated herself for being in King's Landing. She hated herself for wearing the dress, for marrying Tywin, for playing the Lannister's petty games. _Oh, Ned, my love. If you could see me now, gods._ But at the same time, her fierce love of Sansa pushed her on further, making her believe that this was all worth it. _Robb, Bran, Rickon, please forgive me for betraying your Father my sweet boys._

Standing up, Catelyn looked at herself completely in the mirror. Perhaps what people said was true. Perhaps she really was the prettiest woman in court.

Quickly, she banished such thought from her head and focused on Tywin. Their marriage was to be exactly seven days from the present, and it was something Catelyn had been dreading since she first heard Jaime telling her what Tywin wanted. _Apparently he has no desire to uphold my honour._ The wedding was to be a small affair, they weren't inviting every single lord and lady that Lord Tywin had ever met, only his family and members of court that were already present. _Thank the gods my family won't be present. I would be positively mortified for them to see me as a Lannister slut._

King's Landing was much hotter than Winterfell. Tywin's chambers were at the top of a tower, according to Amorea they were the hottest chambers in the whole castle. The stairs were steep and long, but Catelyn savoured the amount of time she could waste climbing them before talking to Joffrey's hand himself. It was such a shame that the luxuries of King's Landing were being wasted in such cruel ways. Why should they waste perfectly good silk on a Lannister dress just to insult her? _It's not like they would make a grey one. Stark's are traitors, and I shared my bed with a traitor._ "My Lord?" She called as she knocked gently on the door.

"Lady Catelyn. Please enter." Lord Tywin's voice was deep and rough, very unlike Jaime's and even Tyrion's. He had not been blessed with both his son's gifts of sweet-talking. When she entered he was sitting on a big oak table, his back facing her. He was taller than Ned had been, and more muscular. Even so, Catelyn felt no arousal what so ever. Arousal was for young maids and little girls, not woman like Catelyn Tully Stark. He turned, looking at her chest rather than her eyes for the first 30 seconds. _Perhaps this dress has more power than I thought,_ Catelyn mused. "That dress is...it suits you well, my Lady."

Catelyn couldn't stop herself grinning at his reaction. "Mayhap the Lannister colours suit me better than I'd anticipated." He stood up and pulled out a chair for her, pouring two glasses of wine. Catelyn turned it away. "I'm sorry my Lord, I have given up drinking. It plays tricks on a feeble woman's mind, you see."

"You are not a feeble woman, Lady Catelyn. You know that as well as I." Tywin raised an eyebrow. "If it's poison you're worried about, I do not work in ways of such cowardice."

"Perhaps I shall indulge myself then." The wine was sweet on her tongue, clearly something expensive. Dornish, she guessed. "May I ask, why have you called upon me at this hour?" It was quite late, much later than Tywin had ever called for her before.

"As you know, we are to be wed in a week." _It's all anyone will talk to me about. As if I wouldn't know._ "I hope that we are in mutual agreement that this is purely for the advancement of out houses, are we not?"

Catelyn snorted. "My Lord, you have done everything in your power to bury my houses under the ground. If anything, I'm surprised that Sansa still had a head attached to her body. The Tully's have Edmure, but I suppose he will not have long to live if Lord Frey had anything to say about it. I agree that this will advance your house, my Lord, as I can provide you with an heir. My houses, both Stark and Tully, have been beaten, burnt to nothing but ashes. Do not pretend this is in any was to advance my houses."

"Lord Edmure will not be murdered by Walder Frey, if that's what you think." Tywin's tone was as serious as ever. "And House Stark rebelled against the crown. They are all traitors. You are lucky enough to be born of the Riverlands, not the North."

"Ah, but I have brought five Northern children into this world. Three may be dead, and maybe Arya too, but I still mothered them all." Talking about her children's death so casually felt like someone ripping her heart out, but he had to think she was over it. He had to think she could be loyal to the Lannister's.

"If you can provide me with a son as smart and courageous as Robb Stark was, then Edmure and Sansa will always be free from harm." Tywin finished his glass of wine and poured himself another. Catelyn was only sipping hers slowly, for her plan to work he had to be a _lot_ drunker than her. Tywin's self control was something only a lot of alcohol could threaten. "I'm sure that is in your capabilities."

Catelyn took a strand of her hair and played with it, the light was shining on her hair making it look as red as ever. She knew Tywin had admired Robb for his work in the field. That had not been his ultimate demise, after all. _Oh Robb, please forgive me._ "Carrying a child is simple, my Lord. Raising it proves more of a challenge." She stood up and walked over to the tray that had wine on it. "Would you care for more wine? Ned always said a conversation with a Tully needed more wine than with any other person."

"I fear that Lord Stark was right." Tywin held his glass out and Catelyn poured generously, adding a little too her own glass. "You definitely have better conversation than anyone else in this wretched capitol."

"You are not fond of King's Landing?" Catelyn asked, feigning surprise. "Our capitol is full of such possibility, after all, and all your family lives here so happily. How is young King Joffrey, I forget to ask. I must admit I haven't had the pleasure of speaking to him a great deal. The only time I have was when he told me that he could marry me if he wanted. I don't suppose he would want to marry someone as old and unattractive as me." She paused, taking another sip of wine. "I could provide three, maybe four sons before my time is over, my Lord. I would make a poor wife for King Joffrey."

Tywin finished his glass and poured another. "You aren't becoming Joffrey's wife. Your becoming _mine._ " He sounded almost protective of her, like he was defending her somehow. _Men are supposed to be the stronger sex, but he is so easily blinding by a woman's features. Would you find a woman swayed so easily? I think not._ "I want no more talk of how unattractive you are either."

"Do you think I'm attractive, my Lord?"

He grunted. "I suppose."

"You are ever so kind, my Lord." Catelyn smiled. "I must be getting back to my chambers. It's getting ever so late-"

"Stop." Tywin stood as soon as she did. His eyes slightly uncertain, the wine taking it's toll.

"Why, my Lord, what could you possibly desire me for at this time of night?" Catelyn asked, her voice soft and sultry. She stepped up to Tywin slowly, resting a hand on his chest and looking at his stern features. Her own blue eyes were blinking with innocence, her lips curving into a slight smile. She pressed a kiss on his cheek and began to step away. Before she got far, he pulled her back and kissed her lips firmly, resting his right hand on her hips and running the other hand through her hair. "Lord Tywin!" She exclaimed, pressing her finger lightly to his lips. "We must wait for our wedding night, my Lord. Then, and only then, shall you be allowed to remove my dress." He flushed slightly and she left the room.

 _He is wrapped around my little finger. The weakness of men._

* * *

Catelyn rose early on the day of her wedding, a rush of maids ushered her from her bed to begin preparing her. Amorea poured her a bath while other girls prepared her dress, her shoes, her hairnet, her undergarments and every other tiny detail that Catelyn could think of. "My Lady, I hope you don't think me rude, but may I ask a question?" Amorea asked shyly.

"Child, ask me anything you like. I only hope I will be able to provide a valid answer." Catelyn had taken a liking to Amorea in particular. It seemed that perhaps her loyalties didn't lie solely with the Lannisters. Perhaps she had been a bastard daughter of King Aerys or Prince Rhaegar, because she looked very much like a Targaryen. Her hair was silver with gold accents.

"Do you want to marry Lord Tywin, my Lady?" Amorea poured small amounts of different sweet-smelling oils into the water, each one designed to make Catelyn feel more relaxed. _How can I relax on such a day? I haven't relaxed since I married Eddard Stark!_

Biting her lip, Catelyn looked into Amorea's dark brown eyes. They weren't purple, perhaps that was why she hadn't been killed for having blood of the dragon. "We all do things we don't want to for the ones we love."

"I know that all too well, my Lady. I'm only here to make enough money to feed my little sister, Chenai." Amorea blushed. "I'm sorry my Lady, you don't want to hear such things."

"I wish your little sister well." Catelyn smiled warmly. She stepped out of the bath and went to her window sill which had a little crystal jewellery box on it. Inside were lots of necklaces and rings that she had been given over the years, but Catelyn only ever wore one ring that was always on her finger. Amorea gasped as Catelyn handed her two necklaces; one had bright blue sapphires and the other deep red rubies. "Here. Take them as tokens of my goodwill, one can be for your sister."

"My Lady...I can't...it's too much..."

"It is rude not to accept a gift from a Lady." Catelyn warned, but she was smiling. Amorea took the chains in her hands, still gawking at them. "You must tell me if your sister likes it. Now, we must begin on my hair. I suppose I must have it in an extravagant style for such a day."

Amorea nodded, neatly putting the necklaces in the side of her dress. Catelyn assumed she would end up selling them rather than giving it too her sister, but whatever she did with them didn't matter. _What was I to do with them? She will put them to better use than I ever could._

The next few hours were a blur. A dozen maids were running in and out of the room with hair brushes, hairnets and a whole other manner of garments Catelyn was too wear. They settles on a ivory gown with a silver trim and a silver chain around her neck. The neck line was as deep as it had been on the red dress, that had been a personal request. Catelyn had insisted on keeping the ring she always wore on; after all these years she had grown particularly fond of it. The idea of a wedding brought her back to Riverrun, when her and Lysa prepared together. Catelyn had found it rather exciting, but Lysa had been wailing all the way to the altar. _I don't want to marry an old man!_ She had cried. _Stupid Lysa._

After many hours of preparation, she was done. _Gods, I really am a whore,_ she thought as she looked at herself. "Milady, it's time to go to the sept." A girl said, one Catelyn didn't know the name of.

The Great Sept of Baelor was much bigger than the sept she'd married Ned in. There were stained glass windows letting in multi-coloured rays of light into the room, and candles glowing besides the crowds of people. By the candles, girls were holding bunches of flowers in yellow, pink and lilac. In Winterfell, Catelyn had grown all the flowers she could in the summer. Her favourites had always been pink peonies, but nowadays they didn't spark her interest at all. "Lady Catelyn?"

Catelyn almost jumped at the sound of Joffrey's voice. "Your grace." She bowed her head slightly and looked at him in confusion.

"I'm to give you away. Your Father's dead, after all." He said, grinning. Catelyn didn't care to question why it had to be him of all people. "You do look very beautiful in your wedding dress."

"Thank you, your Grace."

"Shall we go?" Joffrey was wearing a red and gold doublet with a lion sown on the left and a stag on the right. _Does this boy truly believe he is a Baratheon? All he'd need to do is look in the mirror to see he was a Lannister to the core._ With a prompt nod, Joffrey took her arm and they began to step through the aisle that the guests had left for her to walk down.

The crowd gasped as they laid eyes on Tywin's bride, she was truly beyond beautiful. Catelyn heard whispers of _'Tywin's a lucky man',_ and _'If only my wife looked like that'._ That did little to make Catelyn feel any better about what she was doing. _This is for Sansa,_ she reminded herself constantly. The guilt of betraying Ned never left her, though. It never would.

As soon as she reached the altar Joffrey let go of her arm and she stood opposite Tywin, who once again was looking at her chest rather than her eyes. Though, even the septon wasn't looking at her eyes, she could hardly blame him. "My Lady...you look beautiful..." Tywin said quietly.

"And you very handsome, my Lord." In truth, Tywin did look quite handsome. His muscles were visible through his sleeves and his beard had been trimmed neatly. _I'd trade you for my Ned in a heartbeat._

"You may now cloak the bride, and bring her under your protection." The septon said in a voice lacking emotion as he stared at Catelyn's chest. Tywin put the Lannister cloak around her, he was more gentle than Catelyn had expected him to be. The Lannister red felt wrong on her, felt strange and out of place as it had before. _She_ felt strange and out of place. The septon began to speak, his words seemed to bore Tywin more than they did her. In her time, Catelyn had attended a fair number of weddings, and the septon was as boring as ever. As she looked down at the crowd of people, she saw Joffrey winking at her and receiving a scowl from his mother, and Tommen and Myrcella smiling up at her. She smiled back. Tywin's brother Kevan was stood at the back with his wife, Lady Dorna. Ser Lancel Lannister was standing closer to Cersei than his parents, however. _I wonder why._

As she met Tywin's lips, it was unlike the time before. This time he was soft and gentle, his hand gently rested on her waist. Before he had been drunk and lustful. Now, he desired her, but could not show that to the entire court. There was a round of applause as they were pronounced man and wife, they walked through the sept arm in arm with flowers being thrown over them. _Catelyn Lannister. What a crime._

She was lead into the red keep and seated in the hall where singers sang 'the Rains of Castamere'. _Of course they are playing that godforsaken song._ Tywin lead her to the high table where a glass of wine was already waiting for her. She took a sip and tried to smile, until she realised who would be sitting next to her.

"I must say, it is a pleasure to sit next to you, Lady Catelyn." Joffrey smirked, pulling out his chair and downing his wine in one gulp. _Gods save me._

"The pleasure is all mine, my King." Catelyn tried her best to bring her smile back but worried it looked forced. Joffrey seemed satisfied enough with her reply.

There were endless courses it seemed; Pigeon pie, roasted goose sauced in thick gravy, venison cooked with leaks and carrots, bacon and mushrooms, salted fish, clams and mussels bathing in a white watery sauce. After that there were cakes dripping with honey, oaten biscuits and cream, and other cakes Catelyn had never even heard of. She couldn't help have a few honey and lemon cakes, she had always had a sweet tooth, but other than that she ate little to nothing. It did brighten her mood when she realised Sansa hadn't attended the wedding, that meant she wouldn't see her with her breasts exposed wedding another man.

The hours flew by so slowly that Catelyn was beginning to believe the gods were slowing it down just to spite her. Men were drunk on wine and ale by the time the sun had began to set, and Tywin stood up to speak. "Quiet, everyone!" His voice wasn't that loud but echoed from every wall in the castle it seemed. "Tonight we drink in the honour of Lady Catelyn Lannister!"

The name was like a siren to her ears, but she raised her glass slightly. Tywin kept talking, but it was Joffrey who had her attention. "You are my grandmother now." He whispered gently to her ear. Catelyn shivered. Slowly, she felt his hand pull her skirts up just enough for him to touch her thighs. _Can I bat him off? Could I do that to a king?_ His hand was making her even more nervous than her new title as it crept further and further up her leg.

"Would you like to say a few words, Lady Catelyn?" Tywin asked, and she stood up in such a hurry she thought she might fall over. Joffrey scowled.

"I would just like everyone here to raise there glasses for my new lord husband, Lord Tywin Lannister, who has proven himself one of the most honest, faithful men to the realm." A wave of cheers swept through the room from her words, even though it was as fictional as King Joffrey's kindness. When she sat down her had was placed firmly on her dress so Joffrey couldn't put his hand back up it.

"Congratulations Lady Catelyn!" Myrcella chirped, she had run up from her seat to give Catelyn a hug, which Catelyn gladly returned.

"You are very sweet, princess." Catelyn kissed her forehead and let her run back to her seat. Cersei was looking at her angrily, but kept her silence.

"Myrcella had taken a real liking to you, hasn't she." Tywin noticed. He was watching his granddaughter run back to her seat smiling. Catelyn wondered if Myrcella looked like Cersei at that age. She hoped that Myrcella wouldn't end up as bitter as her mother was.

Catelyn nodded. "She has. She is a sweet girl, really." _Sansa is a sweet girl. What does she get for her kindness? Pain and suffering. Gods, I only hope Myrcella is treated fairly._ Below them knights were kissing servant girls, Catelyn spied Amorea hiding in the corner with a little girl. _Her sister, I suppose._ They didn't look similar at all though. They were probably only half sisters.

"Unfortunately being sweet doesn't get you far in this life." Tywin's voice had deepened about two octaves, Catelyn noticed. He seemed a little angry, but she didn't know what at. Joffrey was grinning more than ever, drinking what seemed to be gallons of wine. _Perhaps drinking is all Robert ever taught him._ The thought made her laugh out loud.

"Is something funny, Lady Catelyn?" Tywin asked. She had just burst out laughing mid-conversation.

"Oh, nothing." Catelyn calmed herself. "Just the thought that I am now 'Lady Lannister'."

Joffrey started to bang his glass against the table and everyone looked up at him. "This has been a excellent feast." He declared, winking at Catelyn as he said it. Her stomach turned. "But all good things must come to an end. And as this is a wedding, so the time had come. Begin the bedding ceremony!"

Catelyn's eyes widened at the thought. She hadn't even thought about the bedding ceremony, it was always a tedious and embarrassing affair. It hadn't occurred when she married Ned, and she'd assumed Lord Tywin wouldn't want that either. "Joffrey, Lady Catelyn and myself do not require a bedding ceremony."

"Where's your spirit, Grandfather! I'm sure you're not the only one who wants to see Lady Catelyn out of her dress, after all?" A cheer went through the room at the thought of a naked Catelyn, and Catelyn flushed a deep scarlet.

"Lady Catelyn is not a whore to be gawked at, Joffrey." Tywin said sternly. _I certainly feel like one._

Joffrey scowled. "Her dress certainly doesn't leave much to the imagination."

Catelyn couldn't control herself. She stood up and slapped Joffrey on the cheek, he stumbled back and the entire hall gasped. "My Lady, might I suggest we leave the hall?" Tywin asked quickly, taking her arm.

"Thank you my Lord." Tywin ushered her out of the room as quickly as he could, but Joffrey was out of shock before they could leave. He chased them through the crowd towards them.

"COME BACK HERE STARK!" He screamed, pulling on her dress and ripping the back. Catelyn whimpered as the fabric was torn. " _No one_ raises a hand to me! I am the King! I'll get you, Stark, you'll pay for this!"

"I am not a Stark." Catelyn said was coolly as she could. "I am Catelyn Lannister, wife of your hand."

Tywin pulled her out of the hall before Joffrey could reply. The walk to Tywin's chambers was made in silence, the racket from the hall could still be heard in the distance. When they arrived, Tywin pushed the door shut with a large bang and sighed.

"I know I shouldn't have hit him." Catelyn made her voice sound as if she was genuinely guilty. "I just...the things he said..."

"He had it coming." Tywin shrugged. Catelyn sat down on the bed and removed the rest of her torn dress, revealing herself to be only wearing a corset and her other undergarments. Tywin gulped as he started to walk closer to her.

"I suppose you must bed me now, my Lord." She sighed. "Put a child in me so I can provide an heir. That is all I am good for, it would seem." _Please, dear lord, say he doesn't put a child in me. I can't stay here to take care of a babe, I need to leave with Sansa._

He took off his jacket and sat next to her on the bed. Catelyn made the first moved, kissing him softly on the lips with her hand on his cheek, soon enough he kissed her back slightly more aggressively. She straddled him and began to take of his doublet, feeling his strong arms on her hips. _Gods, Ned, look away if your watching. I can't bear for you to see me like this._ "Tywin, I believe I misjudged you." She whispered against his lips.

"How so?"

"I never thought I could enjoy marrying a Lannister."

* * *

 **Sorry for the really late update. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, please review!**


	5. Sorrows

"Why?" Sansa asked, her eyes bore into Catelyn's in a hysteric confusion. "Why would you do this without fighting it at all, Mother? Are you forgetting what they did to Father...to Robb..." Her eyes began to water at the thought.

Catelyn put her hands on Sansa's jaw and willed herself not to cry. "Sweetling, believe me, I did not want to marry Tywin Lannister the slightest bit. But if I had not, I would not be allowed to see you without Jaime being present. Being the Hand's wife opens up so many more things for me in King's Landing, rather than being your Father's widow. People are starting to trust me now, I think, and I am no longer Mother of the North to them. There are just a few things I must sort out in King's Landing, and then we will leave."

"Where will we go?" Sansa seemed terribly confused. "There isn't anywhere to go, is there? Winterfell? We couldn't go there, and Riverrun belongs to the Lannister's as well."

"This conversation is best saved for another time, Sweetling. Do not worry yourself. For now I shall leave you to rest. I'll see you tomorrow first thing in the morning, would that be alright?" Catelyn pressed a light kiss to Sansa's forehead. Wordlessly, Sansa nodded and hugged her tightly.

Catelyn left the room as quietly as she could. That day she had decided to wear a much less revealing Tully blue gown, as even though Stark colours weren't allowed, Tully was still preferable to Lannister red. It broke her heart that Sansa couldn't truly understand why she'd married Tywin. _It's like she thinks I love him. I don't even like the wretched man. I am only a good actress, or a bad actress playing a hard role and being fooled._ "Lady Lannister. Please come with me." Ser Meryn Trant's voice made her shiver, she hadn't even seen him standing behind her before he spoke.

"Why? Pray, I would love to join you, but my time has already been promised to Princess Myrcella and Prince Tommen. I cannot be late, so if you will excuse me..." Catelyn tried to speak as calmly as she could, but there were other things she needed to be doing.

"The prince and princess will be told you are unable to see them. The King requests your presence in the throne room immediately, my Lady. His grace was kind enough to let you finish speaking with your daughter." _Does he want to beat me, or to fuck me, I wonder?_ Ser Meryn spoke with little feeling and an uneasy edge. It was best to obey him, Catelyn concluded. Besides, no good would come from disobeying Joffrey. It never did.

"Well, we shouldn't keep him waiting then." The walk over to the throne room was in silence, the amount of men sent to escort her did seem a little extreme. Her stomach turned. It felt more like she was being properly arrested than simply being walked to the throne room. _He can't hurt me too much. I am his grandmother now, by law._ That thought did little to comfort her.

The doors opened and Catelyn looked around the room. Joffrey was sitting on the iron throne was a crown loosely balanced on his head, glaring at her. The crowds of people stared at her in silence while she walked closer to the King. _I haven't killed anyone for god's sake. Yet._ "My King, how may I be of service." Catelyn bowed.

"At your wedding you dared hit me." Joffrey spat. "It is only fair that I repay you for your cruelty. Ser Meryn, do me the honour." Catelyn felt a jab to her back and fell foreword to the ground silently. "More." Joffrey commanded. Another blow went to her back and that time she cried out, and another to the back of her legs. She heard another scream, and lifted her head to see Sansa standing at the back of the room being held my two gold cloaks. Her cheeks were tearstained and she was biting her nails vigorously. _They must have brought her as soon as I left._

"Sansa!" Catelyn cried, looking back at Joffrey with her hands clasped together, pulling herself to her knees only to be struck on the stomach by Ser Meryn. "Please, your grace, hit me all you like but leave her out of this. She has done you no wrong. It was me who raised a hand, not her. I beg you..."

"I thought that Lady Sansa needed educating. Bring her forward." Joffrey looked into Catelyn's eyes that were pooling with tears, his eyes were filled with almost as much rage as her own. _Is this what he did to Sansa? My poor sweet girl._ Catelyn had only ever felt physical pain properly on three occasions; when she attempted to stop Bran's assassin, when delivering her children and when she had been raped. But her back was starting to numb, and the pain of seeing Sansa crying was far worse. "Lady Sansa, I know that before coming to King's Landing your Mother was a respected woman. Almost as respected as your Father, some might have said. I don't need to remind you what happened to your Father. You should be _grateful_ that your Mother still has her head. Let me tell you the truth as I have learnt it. Your Mother is a _whore._ "

Ser Meryn pulled Catelyn to her feet and ripped the front of her dress, cutting through her corset and drawing a little blood between her breasts. Catelyn wrapped her arm around her chest and whimpered, Sansa's tears only making her feel worse. "Oh look! The whore has turned shy!" Joffrey grinned and nodded at Sir Meryn, who ripped Catelyn's arms away from her chest and bent them back. Catelyn screamed. "Not only is she a whore, Sansa. She is no better than a bitch, she dared raise her hand to her King. Leave her arms, Ser Meryn. Grandfather will be angry if you break them." Catelyn wrapped her arms back around her chest as soon as her arms were free, but there was little point. The point was already proven. "Can you believe that she would do such a thing, Sansa? She struck me on the cheek. Ser Meryn, this dress must be such a burden for Lady Catelyn. Strip her of it."

"Please your grace-" Catelyn begged as Sansa tried to look away, but her words only received a kick on the back.

"Sansa, tell your Mother that she deserves this. Tell your Mother how much of a whore she is, and then perhaps we shall pass her around. Would you like that, my Lords? Would you like a go at my Grandfather's new bride?" A cheer went through the room and Joffrey stood up, pushing Sansa to the ground as he did so. "No, actually, I don't want Sansa to say it." He stepped down to Catelyn who was almost completely naked save for a strip of material from her dress wrapped around her from waist to knee. Joffrey took hold of her chin want pulled it up, looking into her eyes. "I want _you_ to say that you're a whore."

"My King. In my life I have only ever slept with two men, and have been raped by another. If that makes me a whore, then so be it." Catelyn gulped as she prepared herself to speak. "I will certainly be one after each one of your men all rape me, gods, I might even carry one of your bastards." Catelyn paused again, looking at the crowd of men that was staring at her like she really was a whore they fancied fucking. "But I ask you, your grace, how can I provide an heir for Casterly Rock if I carry another man's bastard? And if you continue to beat me, I shall only end up miscarrying any heir I do manage to conceive. I ask not for you to save me from punishment that I deserve. I ask you to save the heir of Casterly Rock, that I shall carry whether you like it or not. And I'm sure that your Grandfather will be delighted to know that his wife had been beaten and stripped in front of the court. If that makes me a whore, I am one. But this whore must carry the heir to Casterly Rock. This whore is married to the Hand of the King. So, I think, for the good of house Lannister, you must let _this_ whore go."

Joffrey growled in anger. " _Fine._ " He snarled, turning abruptly and sitting back on his iron chair. "Ser Boros, take Lady Catelyn back to her chambers. I shall let you go today, but after you deliver the heir to Casterly Rock you will pay. You hear me?"

"I will pay gladly." Catelyn spat, picking up the remains of her dress and attempting to cover herself the best she could. After she left the throne room, she began to sob into the fabric of her dress and collapsed onto the ground, Ser Boros dragging her along the floor as she did so. _He is only boy! How can any boy find this amusing? Why do the gods see it fair to kill my sweet boys and let this monster live?_ Through her tears she didn't realise Tywin had come up behind her.

"Ser Boros, what is the meaning of this?" He demanded, taking his cloak off and wrapping it around Catelyn's shoulders. _I don't think he realises that the entire court had already seen me naked. I'm Tywin Lannister's whore! What happened for me to end up this way?_

"I am taking Lady Catelyn to her chambers, my Lord." Boros said firmly.

"Catelyn, what happened? What happened to your dress?" Tywin asked, making sure the cloak covered her completely and ignoring Ser Boros's reply.

"I'm sorry my Lord...I didn't mean to be so weak and to cry but..." She sobbed into the remains of her dress. "It was my fault you see...because I hit Joffrey. He summoned me to the throne room and Ser Meryn kicked me in the back, in the stomach... he made Sansa watch...he ripped open my dress and made everyone look at me...Ser Meryn pinned my arms back so I could not cover myself...Joffrey said he was going to let every man in the room rape me because I'm a whore...It was my fault. It was all my fault, I shouldn't have hit him. I'm sorry for being a stupid whore, my Lord. Please forgive me..."

Tywin was fuming. "My Lady, you have nothing to be sorry for. Ser Boros, take Lady Catelyn to her room _modestly._ " He went into the throne room and in the distance Catelyn could hear him shouting, but didn't care for it. Once she arrived in her chambers she took Ammett's knife in her hands from under the pillow, clutching it tightly as if it gave her strength. _This boy must pay...He can not let my innocent daughter see such things. I can not leave him unpunished._ Ser Boros walked up to her, looking as emotionless as ever.

"Thank you for escorting me back, Ser Boros." Catelyn tried to look as thankful as she possibly could. She had set the knife back under her pillow, she could hardly let him see it. He took off his helmet and looked at her for a second, before grabbing her head and thrusting it onto the bed. Tywin's cloak was ripped away and all the other fabric that was covering her, grinning. "Stop! Please, Ser, I promise I won't say a word to my lord husband, please stop!" Catelyn pleaded, but he didn't stop. She reached out under the pillow in a mad panic and took the knife, stabbing it anywhere she could. His hand, his arm, anything to get him off. _Have I not suffered enough?_ Ser Boros rolled off of her, but Catelyn gasped when she looked at his body. The knife was wedged in his throat, blood bubbling around it. Catelyn screamed again.

* * *

"YOUR GRACE!" Tywin roared as he entered the throne room. The people standing around were giggling and whispering to each other, waiting for something else to happen. "Ser Arys, Ser Meryn, please escort everyone save the king from the hall." A wave of sighs and groans went through the throne room but Tywin couldn't have cared less. Once they were gone, Tywin resumed. "You have absolutely no right to take my Lady wife into this room and publically shame her!"

"I am the King. I do as I please. And _you_ have no right to speak to me like that. I could have your tongue cut out for that, you know."

"You cannot do as you please. If you always did as you pleased the people of King's Landing would be shooting targets and you would have anyone executed just for breathing. It was bad enough that you chose to act this was to Sansa Stark, but Catelyn is a Lannister now." Tywin hadn't been this angry in a while. "If this ever happens again...I will not always be here to protect you from the talk of common folk. If you keep this up there _will_ be a rebellion. You will be no better than the mad king. What is a king if not mad when he beats defenceless women at court?"

Joffrey reddened slightly. "You cannot speak this way to me! I _just_ told you! You may be the hand, but I am the King!"

"I am all your army, I am your money, and most importantly I am your Grandfather. Never touch my wife again." Tywin turned away and walked out of the throne room, leaving Joffrey red-faced and squealing.

* * *

On Arya's seventh name day, Catelyn and Ned had been woken up before dawn by an overexcited little girl. She had run into the room with her hair all tangled and snuggled up between them. At the time, Catelyn had been pregnant with Rickon, and that was the first time he had kicked her. Robb and Sansa had joined them soon after, and Bran was carried into her arms by Maester Luwin. How fondly Catelyn thought of that day, when her family was happy and peaceful and together. _Where did it all go? How did it all turn sour in less than a day?_ That would never happen again, because Ned was gone, Arya was gone, Rickon was gone, Bran was gone and Maester Luwin was gone. Sansa was all she had left, and even now she could not save her from Joffrey's torment. _Has there ever been a worse Mother? I swear to protect her, and yet I find myself struggling to protect myself._

Catelyn could not deny that Tywin had been kind to her. He defended her from Joffrey the best he could, and awkwardly comforted her when tears fell from her eyes. Still, he planned the Red Wedding, he planned the murder of Robb. He planned her own murder. _And now he had fallen for me._ The thought of the mighty Tywin Lannister falling for Catelyn Stark was something she scarcely believed, but also something she heavily relied on. After all, she was just a grieving mother, wasn't she? A loving wife?

Yet, here she stood above the body of a member of the kingsguard. _How did I manage that?_ Her bed was covered in blood that had finally stopped flowing from his neck, but his body posed a problem. What could she have done? He was going to rape her. She needed to play the weakling, someone so innocent they could never have hurt him on purpose. _Think, Catelyn. Think._ She took the sword from his belt and cut herself on the arm with it. It had to look like he had attacked her. Catelyn took a deep breath, hid the dagger in her draw of corsets, and went into the hallway in a fit of fake tears. "Oh, pray, someone please help me!" She cried. "Anyone, please!"

Soon enough a serving girl appeared and followed Catelyn back into the room, practically fainting at the sight of all the blood. "What happened my Lady? Should I get a maester for your arm?"

"I-I'm not sure...he was holding his sword and he tried to..." Catelyn looked over at the maid trembling. "Please, run and get my lord husband...he'll know what to do..."

The maid nodded and sprinted off. Catelyn looked at the body, Ser Boros's face was barely recognisable beneath all the blood. "Seven hells." Catelyn muttered, shoving the body off he bed and onto the floor. She almost felt guilty at how much joy his death had brought her. The feeling that she was doing something _right._ He had attacked her, tried to use her as a common whore as so many had before him. _What is it about men? Can they truly not keep their cocks to themselves?_ Tywin entered the room and Catelyn looked at him, her eyes watering with fake tears once again.

"What happened here?" He demanded, looking at the body.

"Oh, my Lord!" Catelyn collapsed in his arms and sobbed into his doublet He just stood there, patting her back with an unsure look. "I thought he was going to leave...but he got his sword out, he pinned me to the bed...he wasn't going to kill me but...but...I tried to fight back and he cut my arm. I kicked at his leg and he lost his balance...and then there was blood...so much blood..."

"It's alright." It was clear Tywin was trying to sound comforting, but even if Catelyn had truly been upset it wouldn't have helped. "He broke the law attacking you because it wasn't on the King's command."

Catelyn kissed his cheek softly. "Thank you my Lord. I thought you'd be so angry with me..."

"Why would I be angry with you?" He looked confused. "You could hardly kill a member of the kingsguard yourself." The idea made him laugh a little. _Would you say that to any man, I wonder?_

He led her out and told her to stay in his chambers for the night. There were whispers around the castle that Catelyn had murdered Ser Boros, but they were soon forgotten. _How could a woman like me kill a man like him?_

Catelyn found that after sex with Tywin, she would always go to the sept. Not the sept of Baelor, but the smaller one in the castle that was just for the high lords and ladies. She would always go after Tywin fell asleep, he would think her strange if he knew. Always praying for the same things. _Please give me the strength to protect Sansa. Please allow Arya to be alive and well. Please protect Ned and the boys in the afterlife. Please don't let Tywin impregnate me._ After all this time, Catelyn still prayed. It wasn't that she really believed in the gods, it was more that it was comforting to find something to trust. She needed something to rely on. She had so little trust these days. That, and the habit of praying had been hard to shake. "Lady Lannister, isn't it an odd time to pray?" Catelyn jumped at the sound of a voice behind her. _Gods, why does everyone creep up on me like that?_

"Lord Varys." She recognised the voice and the sweet-smelling oils that had begun to waft through the room. "Can I help you?"

"Lady Catelyn, if I may be so bold, what do you pray for? You see, I have long given up on prayers myself. Do your prayers come true?" He asked questions like he already knew the answers. _Of course they don't you stupid cockless bastard. Though, it is probably best that some men aren't controlled by the thing this man lacks._ Catelyn hadn't spoken to him often at all, and certainly not alone.

"I pray for the safety of my family. Perhaps the Mother has not answered my prayers at all, now I think of it. I answered your question, now answer mine. Why are you here, Lord Varys?"

Varys grinned. "My Lady, as you know, I only seek to help the realm." He began to walk closer, his steps as light as feathers. "And I have never seen someone in need of help quite as much as yourself. Publically humiliated, forced to marry the man who planned the murder of your son. And Ser Boros died right in front of your very eyes, did he not? How _very_ tragic for you."

"Well, I do not come seeking condolences." It came out sharper than Catelyn had intended.

"My Lady, I only seek to help you. Put your trust in me and I will not fail you. Though, I must confess, I do need a little something from you in return." Varys frowned as he spoke of his own needs. Catelyn was suddenly more interested.

"I assume you don't want to fuck me." Catelyn grinned. "And after court today almost the whole of Kings have seen me naked. How may I be of service, my Lord?"

"I need information, my Lady. You see, I was told that your throat was slit at the twins and your body was thrown into the river, naked. I have never known a person to survive their throat being slit, let alone without a scar or trace of it. Tell me, how is it you managed to survive?" Varys looked genuinely confused. Catelyn stopped and bit her lip.

"You must have been misinformed, Lord Varys. I am no witch, not immortal god. I was simply given mercy that others did not receive. They did not spare my son, but they did spare me." It was one of the best lies she had told since arriving at King's Landing. Not good enough for Varys, though.

"Lord Walder swears he saw your body himself. Black Walder threw your body in the river, I know for fact it was you, my Lady." Varys giggled. "I would like to know how Catelyn Tully stumbled upon life after it had been taken from her."

Catelyn sighed. "I must admit, I don't know much myself. I woke up in the forest surrounded my men, none of which I knew. I only remember two of them. One was names Elden Rivers, I think, he was kind to me, he gave me clothes and food and a bed to sleep on. The other...his name was Ammett Flowers. He was not so kind. So, I stole a horse and rode strait to King's Landing. Is this the tale you wish to hear, Lord Varys." He probably sensed she had missed something out, but she had no desire to tell him about the murder. After all, if he knew she could kill one man why couldn't she kill Ser Boros?

"My thanks my Lady, I recognise the names. The brotherhood without banners. I must rest now, but tomorrow I invite you to meet me in the godswood after your lord husband falls asleep." Catelyn nodded and he kissed her hand gently, his lips softer than any other man Catelyn had met.

"Of course, my Lord. I'll look forward to it." He left in silence, his slippers making no noise against the stone floors of the red keep. Catelyn sighed and went up to Tywin's chambers. She had hoped he would still be asleep, but he wasn't. Tywin sat on the bed staring at her as she tried to walk in quietly.

"Where were you?" His voice was stern, like he was talking to Joffrey not his wife.

"Just in the sept, my Lord." Catelyn smiled and sat next to him on the bed, brushing her maimed hands against his jaw. He seemed to loosen up at her touch.

"I just...after what happened today, I don't want you walking around on your own." _Have I truly made the mighty Tywin Lannister fear for me? Gods, I am good._

"I don't mean to worry you, my Lord. Only, I find praying for a strong son gives us more chance of producing a fine heir. That is one way for me to give you a son, I can think of another..." Catelyn kissed his neck softly, making her way up to his lips. He pulled her up onto his lap and groaned in pleasure. _I'm not sure I can do this for much longer, gods. I hope that soon we will be able to leave. We'll go to Lysa, at the Eyrie, I'm sure she won't turn us away. Once we are safe everything will get better. And we will kill them all._

 _I will kill them all._

* * *

 **Wow I actually wrote two chapters in two days, I guess I was feeling particularly inspired. I do have a plan for how things are going to go for this story, and I would love some feedback if your enjoying it! And if your not, then please give me something that I work off!**


	6. Failures

"Fuck!" Catelyn cried, standing up and looking down at her bed. "No! No, no, no!"

Her moon's blood was due. But as she looked at her sheets they were a white as they had been when she fell asleep. There was no trace of blood. _Maybe I'm just late._ _Yes, that's it._ No matter how many times she assured herself otherwise, that truth was still right in front of her, clawing at the back of her mind. She was with child, Tywin's child. _I don't think I've ever wished to bleed quite this much, gods._

What could she do about it? Moon tea was the obvious solution, but where could she get Moon Tea if not from a maester? Then they would know she was pregnant and know she planned to abort the child, and Tywin would never let her do that. Catelyn took a half-empty cup of wine from her window sill and poured it onto her sheets to try and make her handmaidens think she had bled. _Why does my body betray me so?_ Obviously it would be clear it was wine when Amorea went close enough to the sheets, she'd have to tell Amorea the truth. It was only really for show in case any other maid happened to walk in and catch a glimpse of her sheets. She'd need to leave King's Landing sooner now than before. Could she trust Varys to help her? At this point, he was all she had. Amorea came into the room and looked at Catelyn's sheets, showing no facial expression at the wine. Could Catelyn trust Amorea with the truth? She was nothing but a handmaid, she was as unimportant to the Lannister's as any other servant. And she _was_ fond of Catelyn because of the necklaces. "Amorea, child, come here." Catelyn said, urging her over to the window sill next to her. "How is your little sister? What is her name again, Chenai?"

"She is well, my Lady." Amorea nodded. "She loved the ruby necklace, I could barely take it off her when she first saw it."

"That is good to hear." Catelyn smiled at Amorea warmly. "I would like to meet the girl. I can take a ward now, and I suppose they are traditionally meant to be highborn but I think it's as important to give the child a good chance at in life. I wonder if your little sister would like that?"

"Why...yes my Lady..." Amorea seemed even more shocked than she was when Catelyn had given her the necklaces. "But, she only works in the kitchens cleaning the floors my Lady...surely you would have someone more..."

"More highborn? In my experience, highborn means spoilt. I tried to make sure my children weren't overly spoilt themselves...though I suppose I failed at that." Catelyn laughed. "I was brought up in Riverrun with my little sister and brother. I was not as spoilt as most, perhaps, but I was certainly more well off than anyone else living there. My father had a ward called Petyr Baelish who came from poverty himself. Now, he is part of the King's council. I hope to give your little sister the same opportunity. All I ask is to know I can trust you. And speak freely, child, don't lie or speak without reason. Tell me if I can trust you." Catelyn only hoped she could tell if Amorea was lying.

"Of course, my Lady." Amorea put her hands together awkwardly, looking down at the floor.  
"You see, I'm not here, working in the red keep, for the same reasons as the other girls. There are two other girls I came here with, Aimeys and Jarra. We played in the streets when we were small, you see. They used to tell me how they wanted to impress the Queen and make the Queen _notice_ them. To befriend her I suppose. Every little girl wants to be friends with a Queen, and why wouldn't they? She is beautiful and powerful, but I didn't come here searching for a Queen's favours. I just wanted to make some money for Chenai because after my Mother had died we had nothing left. It was either this or becoming a whore, and I wanted better than that for her. Aimeys and Jarra work in the kitchens now because the Queen only keeps her handmaids for two weeks before getting rid of them. I chose to serve lower people, like Lollys Stokeworth for a while because they would never just discard me. I knew I'd get kicked out if I worked in the kitchens, I'm the most awful cook." She laughed at herself.  
"I was told I was to serve the Lady Catelyn Stark a day before your arrival and prayed you wouldn't be like the Queen was said to be. I mean, Lollys Stokeworth was nice enough but I was never happy serving her. And my prayers were answered. You are kinder than any other person I've met by far, kinder than my Mother, even though that seems bad to say. I was asked by the Queen to tell her anything I saw you do, anything out of the ordinary. I suppose I did for about a week. Simple things, like that you weren't eating very much and cried into your pillow at nights." Catelyn blushed as Amorea reminded her of when she'd arrived at the red keep.  
"But then I thought: why should my loyalties lie with the queen? What has she ever done for me? You have done more for me than my own Mother, my Lady, and I will always be true to you. If you mean to take Chenai was a ward I will never be able to thank you enough. I am yours, my Lady."

Catelyn put her hand on Amorea's, making eye contact. "I do not own you, child. You are not mine. I only ask that you never betray me. If I am to take your sister as a ward, I would like to meet her first. Bring her to my chambers sometime later today, if you would like. Only if she has time, though. I wouldn't want to disturb the girl."

"Of course, my Lady. She had been wanting to meet you for a while now, she'll be over the moon, I know it!" Amorea started to take up Catelyn's sheets, humming a song while she worked and practically dancing. _I hope you mean what you say, child. I hope I can trust you._

"If you don't mind me asking, child, who was your Mother?" Catelyn decided it was best to know as much about Amorea as she could. If they were to be friends, it was wise. Varys knew everything about everyone, why couldn't Catelyn learn a bit more about her knew ally? _If she truly means to be my friend._

Amorea sighed. "She was no one, my Lady. Her name was Sarelei, she was a whore. She died when I was 12. She barely took care of me and Chenai, she left us to her friend Laura, another whore. I suppose Laura was more of a Mother to us, but she is dead as well."

"And your Father?"

"I'm...I'm not supposed to say." She blushed. "You see, my Mother was with a lot of men. But she knows who my Father was because...because of my hair."

Catelyn took Amorea's hand and made sure her voice was quiet enough that no one else could here. Amorea's hair was very distinct, the mark of a Targaryen. "Child, was your Father a prince?" Catelyn assumed it was Rhaegar. He wasn't known for being faithful to Princess Elia.

"No." Amorea shook her head. "He was a king."

"Aerys..." Catelyn gasped, taking a strand of Amorea's hair in her hand. "You have a half-sister across the narrow sea. I know your natural born, but you still have Targaryen blood in your veins child." Catelyn made sure to bring her voice to a whisper so no one else could hear.

"I know about Daenerys. I know what my Father was. But I do not care for her, and I do not care for him. Chenai is my family, we have different Father's but we share the same blood. She looks nothing like me, her skin is darker and her hair almost black. Her father was Dornish I think, though with all the men my mother bedded I can't be sure." Her eyes widened. "My Lady...I'm sorry...you don't want to hear this..."

Catelyn smiled. "I was the one who asked, child. I shall not tell anyone, you have my word. Now, I suppose you told me your secret and I should tell you one of mine. But no one can know."

"I would never tell anyone, my Lady. You have my word."

"I am with child. I poured wine on my sheets so no one would know. If anyone comes to me with congratulations, I shall know it was you. I don't want to scare you, child, but listen. If you betray me...I could not forgive you. But you won't, so you have nothing to worry about, do you?"

Amorea's smile faltered slightly. "Of course I wouldn't my Lady."

"Good."

* * *

Catelyn had been fond of Stannis Baratheon once. They had seen each other a lot as children as Storm's End wasn't so far away from Riverrun and Lord Steffon was friends with Lord Hostor. He had given her a rose once, when they sat with their legs in the water at Riverrun. Catelyn had flushed a deep red accepting it, her cheeks were so red they matched the rose. _Is this love?_ She had thought. He had been a stern child, he followed the rules and made sure the others did too, but he did always have a softness in his heart for Catelyn Tully. But every now and again Catelyn had been able to convince him to do something a little more wild than paddling in rivers and walking gardens. They had crept through the forest to find a rabbit, they were going to put it under Lysa's bed and watch her scream as it scared her. Lysa had always been scared of animals, it had taken her a good six months to convince her that a horse was safe to mount.

They had run through the forest, looking under the bushes and running after each other. Living life as children.

But they ran too far.

That was the first time Catelyn realised that she was not invincible, as so many children believe they are.

Catelyn's arm had been grabbed by a man with rotting teeth and boils covering his forehead. She couldn't remember much about that moment apart from the stench and the fear. Stannis had stabbed him in the heart with his little sword to save her. _My knight!_ She had thought. _He saved me! We will become best friends, then we shall fall in love. It will be like all the songs._ But it was not to be. After killing that man Stannis became even more bitter than before, building a castle around his heart. They hadn't shared a joke since, no word of kindness, not even a simple greeting.

The one thing Catelyn now realised was that watching the man die didn't effect her at all. She felt no remorse, no pain. _Was I always such a ruthless child?_

Perhaps it had been for the best. Nowadays, Catelyn could not imagine sharing her bed with Stannis Baratheon. _I suppose he was my first love, at the tender age of nine._ Though it was not love. Catelyn knew that now.

She was sat in the king's chambers around a table with her 'family' around her for supper. Joffrey sat at the head of the table with Cersei on his left and Tywin on his right, still proudly wearing his golden crown. Catelyn was thankful he wasn't close enough to touch her. She was next to Tywin and was supposed to sit next to Tyrion as well, but Myrcella had insisted on sitting beside her. Tyrion had given up his seat gladly enough for the young princess, but Cersei had glared at Catelyn with eyes like daggers. _Now her daughter would rather sit with me than her at the dinner table. I truly have won the poor girls love, gods save me._ _I hope it will not last, I plan to abandon her after all._ Tommen was doing something with Tyrion's hand, Catelyn wasn't quite sure what but he seemed to enjoy it enough. Jaime sat on the other end of the table, still wearing his Kingsguard armour. "It is rare to see us all together like this." Tyrion noted. "My beloved family, brothers and sisters, niece and nephews. Mother and Father." Tyrion winked at Catelyn. _I'm only a few years older than him. If I was his Mother, I would have birthed him at four years._

"Lady Catelyn is _not_ our Mother." Cersei snapped. "Out Mother was Lady Joanna Lannister. Have you forgotten her, brother?"

"Cersei is right." Catelyn tried diffuse the tension, but judging from Cersei's expression her speaking had only made it worse. "I may not be your blood, but you are all my family now."

Myrcella giggled. "I wish you were our blood. I suppose you will be soon, when you have a baby with Grandfather. I wonder what you shall name it! I want to have a son named Renly after uncle Renly. He would always buy me the most beautiful silks and toys on my name days. I will miss him. He was my favourite uncle, apart from uncle Jaime. Maybe I shall name my second son Jaime." Jaime smiled at her.

"I think it is a little soon to be thinking about names for a babe, child." Catelyn ran her hand through Myrcella's golden curls and kissed her forehead softly. Cersei looked so angry that she could burst. Tyrion noted it quickly. He noted everything as far as Catelyn could tell.

"Sweet sister, isn't it nice how well Myrcella is getting on with Lady Catelyn?" He smiled optimistically. "She fits right in, wouldn't you say?"

"That she does." Jaime agreed.

"Oh, I'm not so sure." Cersei cocked her head to the side slightly as she stared at Catelyn. "I mean, look at us. We are all lions, we have golden hair and are the truest people in the realm." _Your honour is as missing as Varys's cock._ "But Lady Catelyn is the daughter if traitors, the widow of a traitor and the Mother of traitors. I don't think we are so similar."

"Mother's right." Joffrey agreed while eating a mouthful of suckling pig. The beast had been put in the middle of the table with it's skin all crisped up and honey seeping through the flesh. It made Catelyn feel ill, as so many foods did when she was with child. _Damn Tywin for putting this thing inside me._

"Lady Catelyn is family now." Tywin said sternly and everyone turned silent. Catelyn gave him a look of thanks to him and then found her plate of food staring up at her. There was suckling pig, carrots and turnips and parsnips that were dripping in butter and a large cup of wine to accompany it. Tywin noticed she wasn't eating and leant over to her ear. "Are you alright?" Catelyn nodded and pushed the food around her plate with her fork, taking sips of wine every now and then. She nibbled at the carrots a little but every time something went down her throat Catelyn felt the urge to wretch.

"Lady Catelyn told me about the direwolves her children kept as pets, Mother." Tommen looked at Cersei innocently, but her face kept the look of annoyance she had been wearing ever since Catelyn had walked into the room. Tyrion did not seem as happy to be sitting between them as he had been earlier. "Can I have one? They were always so cool when we went to Winterfell, and Lady Catelyn said that Summer saved Bran's life once."

 _Gods, Bran. I am so sorry Sweetling, please forgive me for being away for so long. For never being able to see you._ "A direwolf is no pet. Any good mother wouldn't allow her child to keep such a vicious animal." Cersei's voice made Catelyn's fist clenched but Tywin brought his hand down on hers before she could do anything she might regret.

Myrcella frowned. "But Lady Catelyn is an excellent Mother. Sansa said so herself. And her children had direwolves. I remember seeing them when we visited Winterfell, they were very scary."

"They weren't scary." Joffrey sat himself up to make him look taller. "They were just stupid animals."

"They were smart enough to defend Arya from you."

"Tommen!" Cersei looked at him in disgrace. Tommen shrunk down in his chair.

Joffrey scowled. "Your lucky your my brother, otherwise I'd have your tongue cut out."

"Prince Tommen meant nothing by it, your grace, I'm sure what he _meant_ to say was that the direwolves were smart enough to understand what Arya told it to do. Obviously Arya was very wrong to set her wolf on you. Is that not what you meant, Tommen?" The young prince nodded and Joffrey leant back in his chair. _I don't know if Arya set her wolf on you, I only wish Nymeria had gone for your throat and not your arm._

"Any dog can do that." Joffrey muttered sheepishly. Myrcella was holding Catelyn's hand under the table tightly; Catelyn was thankful Cersei couldn't see it. They finished their meal in bitter silence save Jaime and Tyrion's attempts to lighten the mood. Catelyn excused herself early, partly because she couldn't deal with so many Lannister's in one room for a long period of time, and partly to see if she had bled. It was almost certain in her mind that she _wouldn't_ bleed, but she still prayed to the gods that she would.

The gods did not answer. There was no blood, no trace of anything red between her thighs.

"Fuck me."

* * *

Chenai was a pretty little thing. Her hair was dark brown, her skin tanned as any Dornish person Catelyn had ever met. _Not that I've ever been to Dorne._ She didn't look like Amorea at all save for their matching dark brown eyes. The girl was shaking like a leaf when she came into Catelyn's chambers, Amorea had to hold her to stop her falling. Catelyn gave her honey cakes and a little wine (children were never supposed drink very much of it, but Catelyn found that it always made them feel special) , listened to her speak and laughed at her jokes. Perhaps children was Catelyn's skill. Princess Myrcella was very fond of her, and Prince Tommen too, though he was more restrained than his sister.

Catelyn had been taking care of children since Edmure was born; she was not a novice.

After Chenai left, Catelyn decided it was probably best to tell Tywin about the ward she planned to take on. He would probably be a little annoyed. A Lannister taking a common girl as a ward. Though she hoped to take Chenai and Amorea with her when she left with Sansa, because they were some of the few people in the world that Catelyn actually liked.

But she also needed to speak to Varys again. Her instinct was to distrust him, and she had met with him in the godswood the day after they had first spoken in the sept. He had told her of Cersei's plans, how it wasn't safe to confide in the grand maester because he tells her everything. Varys had sworn to help her, but what was his word worth? Catelyn did not mistrust him _because_ he was a eunuch, she mistrusted him because she was scared. One slip up on her part and Sansa would suffer.

 _Varys also knows about Amorea._

He had said that Daenerys Targaryen would want to meet her half-sister. Catelyn did not want to get involved with a dragon queen who was half the world away, and as far as she could tell Amorea didn't either. Nor did she want to believe that Amorea was Aerys's bastard at the time. _Does this Targaryen girl even know Amorea exists?_ When she told him that, he had just raised an eyebrow and changed the topic. Catelyn could not deny that Varys would be a very valuable ally, but was he truly an ally? How did she hope to leave King's Landing without his help?

Sansa had friends in the capitol too though, she could not forget. Her daughter had told her all about Margaery and Olenna Tyrell, who had always been kind to her. _But I'd be a fool to trust the Tyrell's._ Sansa had warned Margaery about Joffrey, and they had repaid her with kindness ever since. _Kindness is not something you can rely on. Gods, I learnt that the hard way._ Catelyn was running out of options, because she needed to leave sooner rather than later. Tywin could not discover her secret.

First, Catelyn went up to the hands chambers. Tywin was inside writing letters to someone in Casterly Rock, he still planned for them to visit because was Lady of Casterly Rock and had never been there. "My Lord." Catelyn said as she entered.

"My Lady. Please, sit down." Catelyn took the seat opposite Tywin's and waited for him to finish writing.

"My Lord...I am going to take a little girl as my ward."

Tywin looked up. "Which one?"

"She works in the kitchens, my Lord. Her name is Chenai."

"Why on earth would you want to do that?" Tywin took a gulp of the wine that was sitting in front of him, trying not to look confused even though he clearly was.

"Because it has always been my belief that if you help those who are not as fortunate as you, they will repay you with loyalty. If the common folk see I have taken one of their own as a ward they will look at your family with more respect and will learn to love their King. Is that not what the people want? A king who lives to protect his people? All they have at the present is a King who hides within his walls and a royal family that is the most terrifying thing in all seven bloody kingdoms. Like it or not, I too am a Lannister now. I mean to show them that we are to be feared _and_ loved." _Well done, Cat._ She smiled to herself. _Your lying improves the longer you are around these people._

He looked at her through squinted eyes like she was mad, but nodded eventually. "Oh, thank you my love!" Catelyn cried, kissing his cheek softly. _My love. Ned is my love. I cannot love you. I will never love you more than I love myself. And I hate myself more than any other living being in this world._

Tywin sighed. "What do you know of this girl?"

"Her name is Chenai. Her Mother was a whore, but now she's dead. She likes to sing." Catelyn walked towards the door. "I'll see you tomorrow, my Lord. I'm going back to my chambers for the night."

* * *

 _The Rains of bloody Castamere. Why does everyone in King's Landing love to play that wretched song to me?_ Catelyn thought. Joffrey had made sure every singer in King's Landing sang it when she was close. Every time it played she thought of...

 _Robb._

 _Oh, how I have failed you. You were my firstborn. That little baby boy I held in my arms as some miracle. This can't be real, I had thought. I cannot truly be holding my own baby. A trout in colouring and a wolf in spirit. You were smarter, stronger, braver than I had hoped you'd be. When you first went into war, I suppose I still considered myself a good Mother. I thought you could beat them, I truly did. How could I have not seen it?_

 _The signs were all right in front of me. I was too_ stupid _to see it. I screamed when they shot at you with their crossbows. The very life in side of me was being ripped out, piece by piece. How could someone hurt that little babe, that little bundle I had once held in my arms? I could never see you for the man you truly were. That is the curse that came with birthing you, I suppose. When I grabbed your body from the ground I prayed to all seven gods for mercy. Let him live, I prayed. Kill me, take me, not my sweet Robb. The gods did not listen to me, it was my fault._

 _Gods, why did you bring me back into this life? Why not Robb? Why not Bran or little Rickon? Why not my Ned? Why not someone who deserved it? I am a failed Mother, a failed wife, but still the gods have seen fit to make me suffer life further. Why?_

 _Sansa._

 _I need to protect you, my sweet Sansa, that is why they brought me back. But how, gods show me the way. I have no power, I have done nothing but make a whore of myself to see you. And you are so broken. I have failed you, too. You are such a beauty, certainly more beautiful than I ever was. I should never have let you ride off to King's Landing. I should have known not to trust anyone._

 _My sweet, how could they do this to you? How I wish I could stand between you and Joffrey, take every beating and every tear that fell from your eyes for you. All you ever wanted was to marry a perfect prince, and be a perfect Queen. And what a Queen you would have made. I could have stopped all of this. I could have stopped you going, you would have hated me for it, but I could have. I pushed you into the arms of the devil and let you suffer for it._

 _I need to be told how to help you. I need to get you out of King's Landing, but I do not know how. I need to keep you safe but I can't even protect myself, Tywin is the only thing that stands between me and Joffrey. And you had no one. I suppose it gives me comfort to see you, though. Seeing your face everyday gives me the strength to go on, gives me the strength to keep on fighting. If only I was skilled at fighting, then perhaps I could do you some good._

 _Arya._

 _Gods, I should learn a lesson from you. No matter how many times Septa Mordane and I sat you down to sow you would always get back up. You wanted to swing a sword, you wanted to shoot an arrow. You never wanted to be in the box I put you in. Always breaking down the walls to escape. And I kept putting them back up._

 _Are you free now, I wonder? Are you out there somewhere swinging the sword you had always longed for? Or are you lying dead in the ground, like Robb, like Ned, like Bran and Rickon. I am your Mother. I should have seen how unhappy you were being a lady. I know now more than ever that giving a girl a sword is nothing to look down on, only the strongest women can stand against what society demands. And you were so strong. I only wish I some of your strength._

 _I saw you in Brienne. I loved Brienne, but it hurt to look at her. Because every time I just saw my baby wolf. You looked like Ned, you were so like Ned had been. You deserve better than wherever you are now. I have failed you as well, child. Only a bad Mother doesn't do anything when she sees her child is truly unhappy. Pray, one day I can see you swinging a sword and shooting an arrow for myself if you can. If you still have your life, I hope you can forgive me. Not that I deserve it._

 _Bran._

 _Of all the people who deserve better. How could someone push you from that tower? You were so small. I swore I would make the person who pushed you pay, but all I have done is but Jaime Lannister back to his place of glory. And it hurts me to think it, but I have almost forgiven him. Not because I don't despise him for what he did, not because in any way I forgotten, my sweet boy. Because in all this wretched world, he is the only one to learn from his mistakes._

 _You never made any mistakes, did you? You were always surefooted, a better climber than anyone else I'd ever seen. I sat by your bed for the longest time, I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep. My baby is dying, I had thought. There is no worse crime for a Mother, than to let her child leave the world. Not greater crime, so I am the greatest criminal. I have I failed you as well._

 _But you left this world anyway. I should have gone back to Winterfell, maybe I could have protected you...but I didn't. You died without me, at the hands of Theon fucking Greyjoy. I promise you vengeance, I promise he will die so pained he will be begging for me to slit his throat. But would you want me to do that? You were always a good boy (Aside from ignoring me about climbing, I suppose. Though I never minded too much, I always knew you wouldn't fall). Forgive me for telling you off for doing what you loved. I just wanted you to be safe. Gods, I made you more unsafe than all the towers you climbed combined._

 _Rickon._

 _My little baby Rickon. I was never a true Mother to you, I fear. When Bran took his fall I practically forgot you existed. I forgot everyone existed, but you were the one who needed me most. I wonder, how many tears fell down your cheeks for me? How many times did you want me to come home, thinking about the day I'd walk through the gates of Winterfell and give you a hug?_

 _I never came home to you. I left you alone to die. You never deserved any pain, never deserved any suffering that Theon Greyjoy caused. But I know that for all the pain Theon gave you, I did the same three times over. What child can live without his Mother? Please forgive me, child. I was not a worthy Mother to you._

 _You were my little wolf pup. I had never known a child so fierce, gods! I can only imagine the kind of knight you would have made. You would have been strong and proud like Robb and your Father. But now you can never be. So it seems, I broke your heart. I failed to see your pain right from the start, and tore you open until the end. I broke the heart of my own babe. How could I ever make it right? I suppose I never can, I must live with the fact that my ignorance killed you._

 _And to the child resting in my womb._

 _I suppose I already failed you, because I wished for your death the second I knew you existed._

Catelyn looked out of her bedroom window onto the city of King's Landing. Only then, did it truly hit her. How did Arya escape King's Landing? She became invisible.

Catelyn would take everything she had of importance, and disappear like Arya did.

 _On my honour as a Tully._

 _On my honour as a Stark._

 _Sansa will live better than her brothers and sisters._

 _Or, Tywin Lannister, I will slit your heir's throat._

* * *

 **Wow I have never written a chapter this long. I hope that no one found the kind of tribute to Cat's children too boring, I just wanted to show how much Cat truly blames herself and misses her children. Also, I'm not too sure how periods kinda went during that time period, and I don't know if Catelyn would have bled on her bed or not, but I'm just gonna say it would have happened. Also, Bran and Rickon are alive, but Catelyn believes that Theon killed them.**

 **I would like to thank everyone who's been reviewing, and there is a guest called Esquinzo who I haven't been able to reply too, but if your reading this then I'm so happy you're enjoying it!. Also sorry for spelling and grammar mistakes because I don't have a beta or anything and it takes me ages to check through this, so there probably will be mistakes.**

 **Emma**


	7. Heartbreakers

**Just to clarify, Sansa and Tyrion are NOT married in this fic. Hope you enjoy!**

It had been two weeks since she had found out about the baby. Two long weeks.

She was sitting in Tywin's chambers like she did so often, he had summoned her mid-afternoon. Catelyn didn't let herself panic, didn't let herself think that he knew. How would he know? Amorea had been the only maid changing her sheets and the wine had served as blood for all the others who had seen it. "So." Catelyn said, twirling her hair in her fingers. "Why have you summoned me today, my Lord?"

"My name is Tywin." His voice was as stern as ever. "I suggest you start using it, we are married after all."

"I suppose you can call me Catelyn." _Never Cat. Ned always called me Cat._ "Is that why you asked for me, or is there something else."

Tywin had been writing a letter before, but now he was looking into her eyes. "Before you, as you already know, I was married." He hadn't spoken of his previous wife to Catelyn at all since her arrival and King's Landing. Catelyn had heard very little about the late Lady Lannister, but knew that she had died in the childbed when delivering Tyrion. "She was my cousin, so we grew up together, we were always good friends. I loved her, and married her. I remember, when Jaime and Cersei were born, it was the proudest day of my life. When I held Jaime in my arms for the first time, I saw something we had made together. Our own son, and then lived it again with Cersei."

"I had five children, Tywin." It felt strange to call him that. "I am no stranger to the feeling."

"You also know how it feels to have the person you love taken away from you. Joanna died in the childbed after delivering Tyrion." Tywin looked back down, biting his lip to stop himself looking really angry. "I couldn't help thinking, take it back. Her life was not worth the dwarf she had given me in return. Take it back. But I couldn't take it back.  
"That day I vowed to never let my feelings get in the way of my family, to strive to continue the line and never get held down by love. Not even the love I bear for my children."

This wasn't hard to believe at all. He had always seemed to be quite a cold man, though Catelyn had always just thought that was his nature. "I believe that for every gift of love the gods give us, two are taken away." She could not help thinking of her boys and Ned. _They did not deserve what the gods gave of them._ "I suppose this is your way of saying you'll never love me or any child I may give you." _Gods be good you'll never know about this one._ "I understand. You do not need to explain yourself further."

She got up to leave, but Tywin grabbed her hand. "That is not why I summoned you here today."

Catelyn sat back down and looked at him with curious eyes. She noticed he had spilled his pot of ink when he grabbed for her hands, and realised how very out of character that was for him. "Why did you summon me then?"

"I needed to tell you that I...have broken my vow. It pains me to think it, to feel it, but I have broken my vow." Tywin couldn't look her in the eye. "You have made me...break it."

"Me?" _I have made this man fall in love with me. And I plan to leave him without a trace. Why don't I feel bad?_ "You...love me?" He nodded sheepishly. Catelyn had never thought she'd see Tywin Lannister nod sheepishly. "I am just...I was Catelyn Stark. I am Robb's Mother, I was Ned's wife. I captured your son and tried to have him executed! My son kept Jaime a prisoner for over a year, led a war against you. How can you love me?"

"You think I have a choice?" Tywin seemed to let his anger now, he pushed everything off his table in his rage. "You think I want to feel like this? I keep telling myself no, that it's not true, but my mind keeps coming back to your face, your voice. Your spirit, your kindness, your strength. Gods, you had the courage to hit even Joffrey! I've never met anyone else like you...even Joanna wasn't...she wasn't..."

He came from behind the table and kissed Catelyn in the moment of passion. Catelyn kissed him back gently but was unsure how to react. She pressed her hand against his chest and pushed him back slightly. "I do not doubt your feelings for me. Though I must be honest. I do not love you. You have shown me kindness while I have been here, but you butchered my son at a wedding and planned my own murder. Your grandson had my husbands head removed. Perhaps one day I will be able to forget and give you my heart, but I can never forgive you. I'm sure you'd feel the same if you were me." She rushed out of the room and shut the door, leaning against the wall and taking deep breaths. _Fuck._

Catelyn didn't want to leave it like that. She hated what Tywin had done, but in a way she hated herself for leaving him like she planned to. Catelyn pushed the door back open and rushed into his arms, pressing a kiss to his lips with the passion he had shown her only a moment ago. _I might as well give him something to remember me by._ His hands rested on her hips and he carried her from his solar to his bedchamber, pushed her down against the mattress. Catelyn undid the laces on his breeches and pulled her skirts up. _One last time..._

* * *

The presence of the person inside Catelyn made her want to slice open her stomach and rip the babe out. She wouldn't though. She could never accomplish that kind of thing without killing herself. Varys was her only hope to leave the city now. Catelyn had hoped to find someone else to rely on, but she had no such luck. Before long the babe would begin to show, and she needed to leave before that happened. "So are you certain this will work?"

"Yes." Varys had never looked more serious.

The plan was simple. Joffrey's wedding was only one sleep away, and such an event would mean all the guards would be focused on Joffrey. The gold cloaks wouldn't be so focused on guarding gates and patrolling streets, it was a celebration after all. Varys had assured Catelyn that a distraction would be made for everyone to focus on during the feast (Catelyn wasn't exactly sure what the distraction was, but hoped it would be good enough), and then Amorea would escape the feast during the chaos with Catelyn and Sansa. They would take a ship to the Vale, the ship was from the Summer Isles so no one would trace it back to Varys. Every instinct in Catelyn's body urged her not to trust Varys, not to trust anyone at all. But what choice did she have?

If she stayed much longer, the babe would become apparent and she'd never be able to leave. She would _not_ let Sansa suffer hear any longer, because if they found out her life would be forever in King's Landing.

Catelyn didn't want to be in King's Landing with Tywin and Cersei and Joffrey.

She wanted to be in Winterfell with Ned and all her beautiful children.

* * *

Catelyn woke up as soon as the light came through the window and touched her face. When she looked out over King's Landing, she realised why people were so attracted to it. _It's a wonderful place really, unless you've ever been here._ The maids were sure to come into her room early to prepare her for Joffrey's wedding, everything needed to be perfect. Catelyn had been invited to help plan the wedding, but had declined because she really didn't care.

About an hour after waking, three handmaidens came in and prepared Catelyn a bath. They scrubbed her clean and soaked her hair in sweet-smelling oils. While she was being washed, Catelyn couldn't help noticing that her flat stomach had started to curve slightly. Not really a visible change to anyone else, but it looked slightly fuller than it had done previously. If anything it made her look more healthy.

After being washed and dried, she saw the dress that had been made for the specially occasion. It was a dark burgundy silk with a plunging neckline and a dark swirling pattern sown into the material. _Of course it had to be a slutty one._ The maids tried to convince her to wear jewellery, a necklace or a band around her wrist, but Catelyn could wear her ring and _only_ her ring. A few braids were wound around the back of her head, leaving the majority of her deep auburn locks cascading down her back. Whenever her hair caught the sun, it burned red like a thousand fires and made her blue eyes look deep and pure. _That's why everyone always loves my hair. Ned loved my hair. Tywin loves my hair._

The southron hairstyles had never really been too appealing to Catelyn, she preferred to have her hair more free than tied up tightly like so many other ladies. She had hoped for a little less revealing dress, but in truth she had gotten exactly what she expected. _I guess they wanted to make me as appealing as possible. I'm the King's eye-candy._

She heard a knock on her chamber doors and the maids all ran away, that could only mean one thing. _It seems my husband had come to see me._ Catelyn poked her head through the door. "Good Morning."

"Good Morning, Catelyn." Tywin bowed his head. He seemed to be ignoring everything that had happened the day before, his confession and their spontaneous sex. "I've come to escort you to the sept of Baelor."

Catelyn opened the door fully and Tywin's eyes widened at the sight of her. "You look exquisite, I have never seen a woman as beautiful as you are now."

"My corset is so tight I can barely breathe, the world can see my breasts and I have an eyelash in my eye that really fucking stings. Let's not make me wear this gown any longer than I have too, and save complements for those who actually desire them. Now come on, we have a wedding to attend." He took her arm silently and they walked down to the front gates where horses were waiting. Catelyn was _supposed_ to go in a box with the other ladies, but she loved to ride Visenya, and hadn't been able to so much recently.

Lady Tanda was in front of them with her daughters, Lollys and Falyse. Lollys was heavy with child since she lost her maidenhead to about 50 men in flea bottom, and the poor girl hadn't wanted to leave her chambers. _Poor girl? She's one year my junior._ "It is a lovely day." Catelyn said, striking up awkward conversation with her husband.

He nodded. "I suppose the gods are blessing Joffrey and Margaery's wedding."

"I never took you for a religious man, Lord Tywin." Some gold cloaks were leading the horses through the streets, going at a painfully slow pace. Catelyn grasped Tywin's hand and kissed it softly, showing the world how 'happy' she was in her new marriage. This day had to show how much she was enjoying her new Lannister life, so no one would expect her to escape.

He raised an eyebrow. "I never took you for a hand-holding type of woman. And it's just Tywin."

"I don't know...I'm happy. I want to dance and drink and sing, I want to..." _Run away with Sansa._ "Maybe the oil in my hair is doing something to my head."

"Perhaps it is, but the change is welcome." Tywin got off his horse and helped Catelyn down, leading her inside the sept to stand with Cersei, Myrcella and Tommen. The ride had been made sour my the constant shouts of _Get your tits out Lady Cat!_ and _I swear I fucked Lord Tywin's wife once. Swear on my life._ The man who had said that was killed promptly. _I suppose he did swear on his life,_ she mused. As Catelyn looked out on the crowd, she saw many familiar faces. Across from her were the Tyrell's; Lady Alerie, Lady Olenna, Ser Garlan and The Knight of Flowers. At the back she noticed Ser Kevan and his wife Lady Dorna, Catelyn had only spoken to her once and wasn't in a hurry to do it again. Lady Tanda and her daughters, a servant girl holding the infant Lady Ermesande, though Catelyn wasn't quite sure why the babe was required to attend. Amorea was hidden by the door, Catelyn needed to know where she was at all times. On the far left she spied Prince Oberyn and a woman she didn't recognise. _Shouldn't it be Prince Doran who attends the King's wedding, not his younger brother?_

Joffrey was standing by the high septon with a grin fixed on his face, crown resting on a bed of golden curls. There was soft chatter going throughout the room, but all was silenced when the big oak doors opened and Mace Tyrell came into the candlelight with Margaery on his arm. Cersei rolled her eyes at her dress, she was always making jokes about how inappropriately revealing Margaery's gowns were, but this time Catelyn was inclined to agree. The neckline scooped so low that you could see almost all of her stomach, Joffrey was grinning madly at her. _I really am surprised this boy doesn't live in a whorehouse. Though, I suppose he would find as much pleasure in killing the whores._

Margaery's walk was elegant, Mace kissed her hand and left her standing by the high septon and Joffrey. "May you cloak the bride, and bring her under your protection." Joffrey placed the red-and-gold cloak on Margaery's shoulders and smiled at her chest. _Good thing she'd got that cloak on, she must have been freezing. I suppose I am being a tad hypocritical, but even my dress isn't as bad as hers. Besides, I don't pride myself on being a slut. It is useful though..._

Catelyn zoned out when they started speaking, wondering when Varys's distraction would take place. She only snapped back into reality when she heard a round of applause and felt inclined to join in. Joffrey was kissing Margaery, the sight made her want to laugh. He looked like such a _bad_ kisser.

Everyone started to leave the sept, the feast was to begin soon. _How lovely..._

Sansa was walking with Myrcella over to one of the boxes, Catelyn was surprised that Cersei had let them be together. That was one thing she would miss about King's Landing, Tommen and Myrcella. After acting as their surrogate Mother for a time, Catelyn had become genuinely fond of the young prince and princess. She mounted Visenya and rode along the streets with Tywin next to her, the common folk throwing flower petals over them and making remarks abour her breasts. "How many courses does this feast have, again?"

"Too many." Tywin rolled his eyes. "But it is a royal wedding; everything is extravagant."

"This is nothing like my wedding was." Catelyn closed her eyes recalling it. "It was a joint wedding with Lysa, and she spent the whole time hysterical. She must have made poor Jon Arryn feel awful. Ned was a stranger to me then, he had almost called off the bedding ceremony because he was so worried about embarrassing me. He didn't have a choice about it in the end, the Greatjon doesn't take no for an answer." Her smile turned to a frown. "The Greatjon _didn't_ take no for an answer. He's gone now..."

* * *

Catelyn was surprised at how convincing Sansa's happiness was today. The girl had no idea about what Catelyn was planning, no clue at all, so really she had nothing to be happy about. _My daughter's acting skills are improving tremendously._ It was saddening that Sansa had been forced to develop good acting skills at such a young age. She was three seats away from Sansa, Tyrion, Myrcella and Tommen were in between, and Tywin was closer to the king.

The whole feast was a blur.

Joffrey had brought out five dwarfs to re-enact the war of five kings. It seemed no one was laughing sincerely apart from the king himself, she could see Margaery forcing some giggles. Catelyn wanted to cry. _How could he make fun of Robb like that? Has my sweet boy not suffered enough, only to be tormented once he leaves the earth? I'm going to strange that little shit..._

Tywin had tried to comfort her, but she just gave out glares and sipped anxiously at her wine. Across the table Mace Tyrell was eyeing her up, and she tried to ignore him.

"I am ever so sorry for my son, he always had looked at women that are far to pretty for him." Catelyn turned to see Lady Olenna touching Sansa's hairnet, the older woman startled her. "Though I must say, you do look a great deal like your daughter, she'll be as pretty as you one day. Better keep her away from my son."

"Sansa will be much prettier than I am, Lady Olenna." Catelyn smiled at her. "Besides, Lord Tyrell already had a beautiful wife. Why would he be looking to me?"

Myrcella looked at her with a grin. "Because you are _so_ much prettier than Lady Alerie!"

Catelyn blushed a deep red. "Myrcella! You can't say that! It's not true, Lady Alerie is much more beautiful than I am. Lord Tyrell is very lucky to have married her."

"He would have been a lot happier married to you, I'm sure." Olenna snorted and walked away to Sansa, taking Catelyn's hand and squeezing it softly. "You know, I don't believe we have met before. It seems silly doesn't it, that I am grandmother to the bride and you the groom. You're young enough to be my daughter, I think granddaughter might be a bit of a push, but I'm sure it's possible. Protect young Sansa, she deserves so much more than she's been given."

Catelyn nodded. "She deserves the sun and stars." She whispered, and Olenna went back to her seat. Contemplating all her life choices, Catelyn downed another bottled of wine. The rains of Castamere began to play, Catelyn resisted the urge to throw her goblet at the singer. _Gods Varys, when is this distraction happening? This feast feels like it's never going to end._

Joffrey had taken to bullying his uncle again, using his uncle as a cup bearer. _I don't understand why people think Tyrion wants to be a dwarf. It isn't his fault that he was born that way. Gods, I was just as cruel to Jon Snow...If I ever see him again I'll apologise. I swear it, he will know how sorry I am._

And then it happened.

At first it just looked like Joffrey had choked on his pie, but then Catelyn realised what it was. _The distraction._ Everyone was rushing around their King, Sansa looked horrified herself. There were cries of _help your King!_ and _The Imp! It was the Imp!_ Tywin walked over to comfort Cersei and Catelyn saw Amorea standing behind the tables, gesturing for her and Sansa to get out quickly. She grabbed Sansa's arm and hauled her away to the side. "Mother, what's happening...?" Sansa wasn't upset, she looked more shocked than anything else.

"No time for questions, we need to go." Amorea led them away, giving them cloaks to hide what they were wearing. They climbed down some rocks to the blackwater, to see a little rowboat floating by the shore. Catelyn ushered Sansa inside and offered to help Amorea to row, but the handmaid insisted she could do it alone. She was surprisingly stronger than Catelyn thought she would be, though perhaps years of labour resulted in more muscle than Catelyn's many years of being a Lady.

"Mother, what's happening?" Sansa was whimpering now, looking across the water to see the red keep getting smaller and smaller. "I'm scared."

"Shh, don't worry sweetling." Catelyn leaned over and kissed her forehead softly, running her hand through Sansa's red locks. "We're going to the Vale. We'll be safe there, I promise."

Catelyn couldn't recall very much about the day after that, no jesters or fools, no food or speeches.

Only freedom.

* * *

"WHERE IS MY WIFE?" Tywin Lannister roared so loud it seemed that the whole of Westeros would hear him.

"We...can't find her, My Lord. She had seemed to escaped the city with Lady Sansa." _No, no. I can't lose another wife. I was kind to her, I protected her. AND THIS IS HOW SHE REPAYS ME? She leaves while my grandson chokes to death. It was probably her who did it, not Tyrion. No...I need to get her back._ "There is something else..."

"What?" Tywin didn't know the name of the man he was speaking to, but already found them frustrating. _If this is about bloody Margaery marrying Tommen..._

The man gulped. "The girls washing their sheets found wine stains on the sheets, they told queen Cersei. After closer inspection...Grand Maester Pycelle has determined that Lady Catelyn was hiding the fact with child. She has not bled for a month and a half, the girls have been keeping track of the sheets coming from her bedroom."

Tywin stopped pacing, as he had been for the past half an hour. Wherever she was, if Catelyn delivered a boy it would be heir to Casterly Rock. _She had a hostage inside of her._ Where would she go? She would have been caught if she'd taken the King's Road, and her horse was still in the stables. She must have taken a boat. But where would she go?

Winterfell? It had been burned down by the Greyjoys', and her two youngest sons that had been living there were dead. Riverrun was under Lannister control. It was unlikely that she'd go to Stannis, the red priestess he had had begun burning people alive. _The Eyrie..._

Lysa Arryn was her sister, and it wasn't very far away by ship. She was likely already in the Vale. Tywin felt stupid for admitting he loved Catelyn now, so stupid. Of course she didn't care for him at all. She only loved one man, and Eddard Stark had been killed at Joffrey's command. Of all people, why did he have to love Catelyn Stark? It wasn't her name by law, but everyone knew she would always be Ned Stark's wife. Catelyn and Tywin were never to be.

He should have seen this coming, especially after Joffrey beat her in public. But what scared him more than anything else was what she was going to do with the babe. Would she drink Moon Tea? _I can't marry again...if this baby dies, house Lannister relies entirely on Jaime leaving the Kingsguard._ It seemed the obvious option, but by doing so she would be killing a valuable hostage. Would she able to kill her own child? Catelyn had always been so bound by the love she beared for her children, three were gone, probably four, would be able to kill another?

 _Of course she could. She isn't fragile, she's smart and strong._

 _And I need that goddamn babe safe and alive._

* * *

 **I admit that the escape scene was a bit rushed, and I'm sorry if you actually wanted a lot of detail. If I'm honest I'm really rubbish at that kind of thing, and I just wanted Cat to escape. I'd love to know what you think Cat's gonna do about the baby, and what Tywin's gonna do to get her back!**


	8. Falcons

It was sad, really. In their youth, Lysa and Catelyn had been some of the most desirable maids in the seven kingdoms, and the many thought Catelyn still was one of the most beautiful women in the seven kingdoms. Lysa had lost all the beauty she had once possessed, her cheeks were full and there were layers of pudge that stuck out through her dress. When Catelyn was brought into the Eyrie, Lysa was sitting with Robin in her arms, glaring at Catelyn like she was some sort of criminal. _Sisterly love..._

"Well you can't stay here. If you are wanted by the Lannister's and I'm protecting you, then I'll be an enemy of the crown as well. Robin won't be safe if the Lannister's are after him." Catelyn closed a deep breath before speaking.

"Lysa, I'm pregnant. I hate it more than you do. Tywin Lannister cannot know, I couldn't stay in King's Landing. Please. I just need to stay somewhere while I work things out, somewhere safe. I am _so_ tired. There is no safer place than the Eyrie, please, I beg you Lysa. If you ever loved me at all, just let me stay for a while. A month, a week..."

"No, you're not pregnant..." Lysa shook her head, staring at the floor. "You're just saying that to make me feel sorry for you, aren't you? She was always like that, Robin. Never trust a woman like Cat. She was always says whatever it takes to take advantage of people, and then she always gets what she wants."

"If you wait a few moons you'll be able to see the babe." Sansa seemed even more worried now. "And if you think that I _want_ to be in this position, you are very mistaken."

Lysa smirked. "Alright, you can stay." She stood up and started to walk closer. " _If_ you get rid of that filthy Lannister babe. Ask maester for some Moon Tea tonight. Kill it, and you can stay in the Eyrie as long as you want."

"My love, isn't that a bit harsh?" Littlefinger walked up to where Lysa was standinh, Catelyn hadn't seen him lurking at the back of the room before. _He'll tell the Lannister's about the baby...no..._ "Your sister is desperate. You know if this had been the other way round and you sought refuge at Winterfell she would accept you with open arms."

Catelyn's sister frowned but kissed him, looking back at Catelyn with a blank face. "My betrothed had convinced me to show you kindness. Your daughter and your friends can stay in the Eyrie as long as they need, I will not make them leave. You, on the other hand, will have to get rid of that _thing_ to stay. I will take you in, sister, but I will not share my roof with Lannister blood."

"Yes, I agree to your terms. I will not forget the kindness you have done me." Catelyn had no problem with killing the child inside her, she had wanted to ever since she knew it existed. They were lead away from the hall and given a chamber each, Amorea and Chenai were in awe of how highborn people lived. _If only it was as pleasant as it seems._ Sansa took the room next to Catelyn's, asking her new handmaid to run her a bath. A girl called Meia had come to tend to Catelyn, but she didn't want another handmaiden. Amorea had been more than she had expected, of course, but the constant presence of someone else in her room would prove rather frustrating after a while. She had tucked Ammett's dagger inside her pillowcase, and fell back on the bed.

The only noise in the room was the soft whistle of wind through the window, it was somewhat peaceful. The mattress was stiff and uncomfortable, and yet it was still far nicer than the luxurious one she'd had in King's Landing. _I think we'll be okay here for a while..._

* * *

"Cat?"

Catelyn's head shot up as she heard her name, she realised that she had fallen asleep. "Uh...who is it?" Catelyn asked sleepily, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

The door opened and Lysa came inside, holding a mug of steaming tea. _Moon Tea._ "I thought I'd bring it myself." Lysa handed her the mug, it burned Catelyn's hands a little but she ignored it. The tea itself smelt sweet, like honey and sugar. _Drink this, everything will be fine, s_ he reminded herself. Absentmindedly her hand rushed to her stomach and she suddenly changed her mind. Her breathing increased in pace and her head started to feel light. She shook her hand quickly to get rid of the faint feeling, starting pace around to room with the mug in her hands. _I can't do this...I can't kill my child...no...no...it's not right..._

Tears pooled in her eyes and she put the mug on the side. "I can't Lysa...I thought I could...I can't. This child has Tywin Lannister's blood, but it is also part of me. This child is half Tully, my own flesh and blood. I can't kill it, I'm sorry...I'll leave...just, promise me you'll keep Sansa safe. I can't take her with me, she won't be safe-"

"Cat, shh." Lysa pulled her into a hug and Catelyn sobbed on her shoulder. _Why is she suddenly being so nice?_

"I'm sorry Lysa...about all the hurt I've caused you in the past...I should have been there for you more, should have written more, should have been a good sister."

"Cat, I know what it's like to lose a child more than you. It breaks your heart, but is what the gods intend, and we can do nothing. This child will be a Lannister, no matter how much Tully it has in it's blood. If you will not kill it, I have another proposal. Petyr thinks it would be a good idea to raise it here, if it's a boy, because if we have Tywin's precious heir he won't dare hurt us."

Catelyn wiped her eyes only for more tears to fall. "You would...use my child as a...a hostage?"

"Not a hostage...more...leverage, that's it. We will tell Tywin that his heir will have the Lannister name, and will be returned to him when he comes of age." Catelyn frowned at her. "It _isn't_ a hostage Cat, just someone that we use to stop the Lannister's coming against us. It was all Petyr's idea."

 _Of course it was fucking Petyr's idea._ "Lysa, that is a hostage. What sort of life will my child live if his only purpose is to spite his father?" Catelyn had no love for Tywin Lannister, but she did for his child. Any love was newfound, granted, but she did not think children should suffer for their Father's crimes. Would it be fairer to just kill the child now?

Lysa snorted. "A better life than your last three sons. Robb, stabbed in the heart at Edmure's wedding, Bran and Rickon murdered in their own home. You've hardly been providing an excellent lives for your sons so far, what makes you think you could do it now? And Arya, god knows what's happened to her, probably rotting in a muddy ditch somewhere. Did you feel like a bad Mother when they stuck a dagger inside Robb's heart and-"

"STOP IT!" Catelyn screeched, covering her ears and letting her tears drip onto her dress. "Stop it, please, stop. I can't hear that again. I did everything I could to protect them..."

"Protecting is what I do for Robin. You don't protect, you abandon." Lysa sounded almost proud. "Robin is happy and healthy while your children are all dead apart from Sansa. I protect my child, you abandon yours. Now, you will use your child as I wish, or you will kill it now. I have been kind to you Cat, but now I'm putting my foot down."

It took everything inside Catelyn to stop herself slapping her sister. She didn't speak again, only nodded and fell back on her bed when Lysa left her in peace. Her hand was gently stroking her flat stomach, praying for the first time that her child would be happy. _Let the babe live. Let it be happy, let it smile and laugh, let it know true happiness._ It sickened her to use a child that wasn't even born as a hostage, but she didn't have a choice. A chance at a life was better than nothing.

In the past, Catelyn's pregnancies had all run smoothly, save for Bran's at the end. She had laboured for two and half days, whatever maester Luwin did little Bran refused to get out of her. Eventually he had been forced to leave, and it had been at least twice as painful as it had been with any of the others. It had been alright overall, though, because Ned was holding her hand throughout every second of pain, urging her on, kissing her forehead despite it being covered in sweat. Would she survive it this time? Without her precious Ned? _Not that Ned would want to be there. He would hate me for carrying another man's child._

It had all been worth it in the end, to know she had brought a happy and healthy child in the world. _Maybe that's the problem. If I stop bringing children in the world, then less of my children can suffer._ Catelyn often wondered whether children's death affected other women as it had her. She had heard tales of people like Selyse Baratheon, who had resented the sight of her daughter ever since she contracted greyscale as a babe. _But this babe is not like the others,_ She reminded herself. _It is a Lannister._ Would Tywin Lannister have been hurt if Cersei had died young? Probably not, she was just a girl.

 _Maybe if I don't attach myself, it will be easier to deal with. Yes, this babe is nothing to me. It is Tywin Lannister's, I am just the woman he chose to carry it for nine moons. I am nothing to this child. The lion feels nothing for the fish._ She tried to replay these thoughts in her head, but alas her heart still yearned to hold her child, to cradle it and keep it warm. _It was always so simple when Robb was still fighting with a wooden sword, Sansa was playing dolls and Arya was asleep in her cradle._

Perhaps her children were safest when they were inside her, well, maybe it had been that way once. When Robb was resting in her womb, she had thought it awfully scary. The concept of a person inside a person didn't seem right, and after what happened to her Mother she wasn't so sure she wanted Robb inside her at all. Now, she felt a mixture of loathing and love for the person she was carrying. And she was sure Tywin would have felt the same if he knew.

Eventually, she fell into another sleep.

* * *

Catelyn was standing in a room, a white room. There was nothing in it, no bricks to hold the walls no candle to make it light, only white. A man appeared, she knew from a glance that he was her son, her Lannister son. He had golden hair and green eyes, flecks of gold shining inside them. A red Lannister cloak was draped over his shoulders, his eyes looking over at her with a terrifying white smile. Then he looked down a the floor, Catelyn followed his gaze to see Robb, Sansa, Arya, Bran and Rickon lying motionless. Her instinct was to run over to them, but her legs were frozen still. Her hands rushed to her mouth to stop herself crying out. Sansa's eyes were dull and motionless, staring into nothing.

He was standing over the corpses of her wolf pups, grinning. _See, Mother?_ No sound came from his mouth, but Catelyn knew it was his voice she could hear in her head. A drop of blood ran down his lip, down to his chin and he wiped it away leaving a red smear. Another drop, and another. Tywin walked over to her son, wrapping his arm around his shoulder and giving him a sword. Catelyn wasn't quite sure where he had come from, but didn't care. _This is just a dream. Just a dream._ Slowly, they crept closer to her, more and more blood coming from her son's mouth like a waterfall, and even more seeping from the bodies of her children. Faster and faster, the blood rushed around the room filling the floor as Tywin and her son crept closer and closer. Catelyn could feel it swaying against her feet, rising more and more quickly. The stench of death rushed through her nose and made her wretch.

 _Your were born a fish; but the water got boring. You made your own river, a river of rubies._

The blood rose higher and higher, Catelyn could feel her gown weighing down as it soaked it up. The bodies were now completely underneath, tears dripped from Catelyn's chin as Tywin and her son got closer and closer. She tried to speak, but she made no sound.

 _The river grew and grew, but you could never be part of it yourself._

Tywin stopped but her son kept coming, until he took Catelyn's hand in his own. He knelt down into the blood until he was completely submerged, then rose again with a golden crown. It had bright red rubies on it, he placed it on her head and they began to drip, running down her eyes, down her nose and mouth. She took it off and threw it into the blood that was still rising, it was up to her shoulders and her son was gone.

 _You are the Queen of Rubies. You have been the Queen of Rubies. You always will be._

The blood came up to her mouth and she felt it rush inside, choking her, drowning her. Catelyn waved her arms desperately to swim, but she couldn't, her legs were stuck to the ground. Then the blood disappeared, it didn't drain away, just disappeared in a split second. She was in the white room again, but it was much bigger. Catelyn couldn't see the end of it.

Under her feet were thousands and thousands of dead bodies, it looked like a battlefield. She saw Sansa and Arya, Bran and Rickon, Robb and Ned, Lysa and Edmure, her parents, her uncle, Amorea and Chenai, Tywin and her son, Cersei and Jaime, Myrcella and Tommen. The more she looked the more people to recognised. Catelyn wanted to cry out, but no sound could escape her lips, tears fell from her eyes still.

It was getting cold, the tears on her cheeks froze and she felt an icy hand on her back. But before she could turn her head someone called out her name.

Jon Snow appeared with a torch, and all the bodies were burning in an enormous fire. Her whole body felt warm aside from the place on her back where she had been touched.

 _Your are his Queen,_ Jon whispered through the flames. _Don't let him claim you._

Catelyn awoke with a scream.

* * *

 _What the fuck was that?_ When Sansa came rushing into her room and asked her what happened, Catelyn told her she was fine. It was just a dream. _Gods, nightmares haven't scared me since I was a child._ Her baby was alive, her daughter was alive, but she knew something had changed. She wasn't sure what, but something was different. _It was nothing. Just ignore it._ Her back still felt freezing cold, Catelyn pulled a fur around it.

Sansa and Catelyn went to supper together, Lysa was waiting for them with Robin and Littlefinger. "Cat, what took you so long?" Robin was trying to take Lysa's wine but was given a stern look and backed away. "We've been waiting here almost ten minutes, you know." Lysa didn't sound angry or frustrated, unlike normal, and Catelyn was reminded of Riverrun. _If only things could still be the same._

"I apologise, I just lost track of time." Catelyn had been given one of Lysa's gowns to wear. Once they had been able to wear all of each others clothes but now it was far too loose. In their youth, Catelyn had been made the most beautiful blue gown with silver stitching and a fur lining, Lysa had been so jealous that they had taken turns wearing it. _I could still wear this in eight moons._ Amorea had tried to tighten this dress as much as possible, but it was still loose around her hips and arms. _I suppose too big is better than too small._ At least she didn't look like a whore.

"Your my aunt, aren't you?" This was the first time Robin had ever spoken to Catelyn, he was sickly boy and very spoilt, but that was hardly his own fault. "And Mother said that Sansa is my cousin."

"That is very true, my Lord." Catelyn smiled at him. "I am your Mother's older sister, and Sansa is my daughter. It is so nice to see you again, I suppose you don't remember when we last saw each other."

Robin looked confused. "How can you be Mother's older sister when you look so much younger?"

Lysa blushed crimson and even Catelyn felt embarrassed. It was true that Lysa looked about ten years older than she was, but no child Catelyn knew would say it in front of her. _Does she discipline this boy at all?_ The only positive thing Catelyn could tell about him was that he was now eating solid food, it was ridiculous that he had been feeding from his Mother's teat from so long. All Catelyn's children had been weaned as soon as possible. "Your Mother is clearly younger than me, Robin. Perhaps it takes an older mind to see such things, child."

"I am almost a man grown, I am not a child!" Robin stood up, his head held high. "Tell her Mother, tell her!"

"I'm sure you are, my lord. And very strong too, you will make a fearsome warrior." He smiled at her when she said that. "I only meant that sometimes age deceives people, and you have to be _elderly_ like me to see it." Robin sat back down and took an angry bite of boar. There was an awkward silence for a while, Sansa was nibbling on a piece of carrot. "Besides, I call everyone child. I am sorry if I have given offense."

"Me and Petyr are going to wed tonight." Lysa took Littlefinger's hand and kissed it. "We decided that we've waited too long. Cat, I was wondering of you could give me away. Your my older sister, and Father and Edmure aren't here, no one else could be better."

"I would love to." Catelyn took a large gulp of wine, it made her feel sick. Not the wine, the thought of Littlefinger being a legal part of her family. Their plates were taken away, and lemon cakes were brought to the table on silver platters. Catelyn smirked as Sansa looked at them eagerly. Back in Winterfell they couldn't grow lemons, but every now and they would be given a few crates from Dorne or King's Landing. For her seventh name day Sansa had asked for lemon cakes, so Catelyn had the cooks make her 50 cakes. Sansa hadn't been able to finish them, even with the help of Jeyne Poole. Ned had laughed as she groaned with sticky fingers, collapsing on her bed.

Littlefinger offered Sansa a cake. "I heard that Lady Sansa adored lemon cakes, so I had three crates of lemons brought to the Eyrie from King's Landing specially."

"My thanks, Lord Baelish." Sansa bit into one with an enormous smile. Sure, it was a nice gesture, but Catelyn would rather have had Littlefinger's head as a gift for her family. Lemon cakes would do for now, though.

"Petyr is so considerate." Lysa sighed like a girl looking at an attractive knight. "Cat, do you remember when we were young and you would eat every cake you could find? Father had to have a septa watch you because he feared you'd get fat!"

Catelyn laughed. "I was bad, wasn't I?"

"I remember sneaking honey cakes to you under the table when septa Mara wasn't looking." Littlefinger was holding Lysa's hand, but looking at Catelyn longingly. Everyone knew that Lysa lost her maidenhead to him, Catelyn had actually been the first to find out. She had needed Lysa for something, she couldn't remember what, and when she walked into her chambers Petyr was on top of her calling the name 'Cat'. Catelyn offered him an awkward smile, and then turned to Sansa. "I also remember you kissing me in the woods. Practice for _Brandon."_

 _Oh shut up!_ "I remember." Catelyn smirked at him. "I mean no offense, but you were _not_ a good kisser." Sansa giggled but covered her mouth, Lysa and Littlefinger looked annoyed.

After the meal, Catelyn prepared for the wedding. Amorea had been working on one of Lysa's gowns to make it fit Catelyn, it was looking a lot better than it had before. She was in her corset and other smallclothes when Littlefinger burst into her chambers and thrust a kiss on her lips. "I missed you so much Cat..." He whispered. Catelyn slapped him.

"What are you doing! Get out!" Catelyn was covering herself with the dress.

"Cat...Ned's gone...there's nothing to separate us anymore..." He pulled her close to him and his hand snaked around to her backside. Catelyn could feel his arousal pressed up against her and struggled out of his grip. "Ned's gone..."

"You are supposed to be marrying me sister!" She cried, throwing a pillow at him. "And don't you _dare_ speak his name. He was ten times the man you will ever be. Now get out, and never come into my room again."

Littlefinger looked desperate. "My Cat...I love you..."

"You can call me 'my Lady' or nothing." Catelyn pointed at the door. "I am not your Cat. I never was your Cat, and I never will be. I am not one of your whores. You have Lysa, which is much more than you deserve. For her sake, I will not tell her what happened here. Have I made this _crystal_ clear?"

"My feelings for you will never change." He was trying to make himself look strong, but Catelyn had a hard time taking him seriously. _The things I would do to stab you right now..._

Catelyn collapsed on her bed in tears once he was gone. _Gods, why? Why is there someone who wants me every single fucking place I go? Why can I not be given an empty bed to mourn my husband?_

* * *

The wedding had been a small ceremony, a few witnesses and a drunk septon. Littlefinger had been staring at Catelyn throughout the whole ceremony, it had been a real challenge to pretend she didn't notice. It made Catelyn truly sad to see her little sister look lovingly at a man who would never have any feelings in return. He was a vile man, a cruel man, and for all her faults even Lysa deserved better.

They left before the bedding ceremony could begin, Catelyn didn't want her or Sansa to be anywhere near a naked Petyr Baelish. As they walked away, Catelyn heard someone struggling on the other side of a door. "Stop touching my hair!" A voice moaned, it sounded somewhat familiar to Catelyn. "I said stop!"

"They are hardly going to recognise you if you look like you've been bathing in mud for the past century." A gruff voice replied.

"I don't care, now leave my hair alone!" Catelyn opened the door and saw three people standing in front of her. One was wearing armour with the falcon of Arryn on it, his name was something like Willem or Willam. Catelyn wasn't sure. The second was a man who had burn scars on half his face, she knew immediately it was the Hound. She'd seen him when King Robert had visited Winterfell, and it wasn't a face you forget. The third was a little boy with messy brown hair and a look of awe on his face, but Catelyn didn't pay attention to him.

"You're the Hound." She said, it wasn't a question.

He nodded. "And you are...?"

" _That's_ Catelyn Stark you idiot." The boy hit his arm and rolled his eyes. Catelyn didn't even want to know how the little boy knew her by face and name.

The Hound's eyes widened and his lips curved into a smile. "You're the Stark woman? And your with the little bird." He smiled at Sansa. Sansa flushed. "Your an even better find than Lady Arryn. I thought you got killed at that damn Red Wedding. I guess not. Now, I have something to sell you."

"I have little interest in buying things from you, ser." Catelyn replied sternly. The words 'Red Wedding' made painful memories of Robb come into her head, but she refused to let it show.

"First of all, I am not a knight." The Hound pointed at the boy next to him. "I believe you may be interested in buying your daughter off me." The urge to slap him did arise in Catelyn's mind, but she buried it. _I won't let anyone pull my heartstrings about Arya..._ Catelyn bent down the boy's height and looked into his eyes. "She was a right pain to travel with, let me tell you. I mean, I understand she likes killing people, but she could have at least _told-"_

"Shut. Up." Catelyn kept staring into the Stark-grey eyes looking back at her. "Arya?"

"Lady Catelyn, I must tell you I have _strict_ orders to take these people to Lady Arryn." The knight looked uncomfortable.

"You shut up as well." Catelyn snapped. "Sweetling, is that you? It is! Oh Arya, I feared the worst!" Catelyn pulled her into a hug so tight she feared she squeeze her to explosion.

"I told you that you didn't need to touch my hair." Arya grinned up at the Hound and hugged Catelyn back tightly. Then she looked at her sister. "I'm sorry I didn't take you with me, when I left. You know, when I-"

Sansa smiled. "It's alright." Catelyn had never seen them hug before, and she didn't see them hug then, but the look of relief on both of their faces was enough. _Thank you gods for letting her be safe._ For once Catelyn didn't cry, she had done a lot of crying lately, but this wasn't a moment to cry. The initial shock of seeing Arya had put her mind in a place beyond weeping. Perhaps she would weep later.

"Thank you very much ser, for delivering me my daughter safely." She looked to the Arryn knight. "See that he is paid well, given food and a bed to sleep on tonight. I would offer you a place with me, as a guard if you like. You would be paid, of course, though I'm sure you have much better things to be doing. The position would come with a roof and meals every night."

Clegane shrugged. "I haven't had a great many things to do ever since ditched Joffrey's stupid little ass. Sure, I'll stay with you. But I won't say any of those stupid pledges, if that's what you want. Pledges are fucking stupid."

"I would never expect it of you, ser."

"I'm not a knight."

They went in separate directions, Catelyn grasping Arya's hand tightly. Sansa went back to her own chambers, and Catelyn began to prepare a bath. "What happened to you, Sweetling?" Catelyn asked as she began to strip away Arya's clothes. They were covered in mud and fleas, she smelled worse that Jaime Lannister had when he was captive at Riverrun. _I might have to have them burned._

"A lot of things." Arya went into the tub and winced as the hot water touched her skin. There were a few bruises on her back, but nothing unlike usual Arya. In Winterfell she had been constantly throwing herself around in the godswood with Nymeria. Catelyn knew that Lady had been killed, and Nymeria had run away. Strangely, she had this faint memory of seeing a direwolf just like Nymeria when she woke up with the strange men so long ago. It was probably just a hallucination.

"What was he saying about killing people, Arya?" Catelyn raised an eyebrow and helped Arya sit down properly, taking a jug and running the water through her muddy hair. Murder was no longer a topic that bothered her very much, and she had been curious about what that Hound was saying.

Arya went red. "Are you angry at me?"

"No." Catelyn shook her head and scrubbed at Arya's head. She hadn't actually felt any skin yet, only dirt and questionable remnants of plants. It was a shame that she had cut off most of her hair, but that was the least of Catelyn's concerns. Long hair hadn't suited that well anyway. "I want to know how, Sweetling." Catelyn laughed at herself. "I must sound mad to you. I only want to know the situation where you were forced to take another's life."

"I stabbed a boy in the stomach, in King's Landing. That was the first time." Arya gulped. "He was all fat, he said he was going to tell the Queen he'd found me. I stabbed him with-" She paused, but Catelyn nodded for her to go on. "My sword. Needle"

"I did notice you carrying a blade. You couldn't have stolen it from a knight, it's too small. Where did you get it? Don't worry child, I am not angry. Only curious. And Needle is an excellent name."

She smiled up at Catelyn and began to scrub at her skin. "Thank you. Jon gave it too me before we left Winterfell." Arya seemed nervous at the mention of Jon, she knew that Catelyn had always hated him. Before anything crazy had happened, Catelyn might have screamed at Jon for giving Arya a weapon. She had heard rumours once or twice about how she used to beat Jon Snow out of pure hatred. Those rumours made her sick. In truth, she would never do that to someone who had meant so much to Ned and her children. Catelyn Stark had _never_ struck any of her children, not even Jon Snow.

Catelyn stood up and refilled the jug, sighing as she knelt back down. "I should have given you a sword long ago." Arya opened her mouth to reply, but the sound didn't come out. _I am not the woman she thought her Mother was._ "I met an amazing knight when I visited King Renly's camp, a woman. Her name was Brienne of Tarth, she was the most enormous woman I'd ever seen, gods to begin with I struggled to believe she wasn't a man. She ended up being my sworn sword, but I sent her away too...well, to try and get you back. She made me believe that it wasn't so bad for a woman to be a warrior, and we are _not_ the weaker sex. After she left, I killed two men myself. The first one was just a bastard, I slit his throat, and the second was Ser Boros Blount. I do not blame you for any death you may have caused, child, I only regret not letting you train with your brothers. Then maybe it would have been easier for you."

"You...you killed a kingsguard?" Arya was taken aback. "How?"

"I stabbed him in the neck. Of course, he was distracted by...me. You don't want to know that story, my sweet. Believe me." Catelyn felt oddly proud thinking back on it. _I killed a fucking Kingsguard. Well done Cat, didn't know you had that in you._ "Now, I'm sure you have a hundred stories to tell me, and I wish to hear them all in great detail. But you must sleep now, it's been a long day and I cannot clean your hair any more than I already have."

"I...I missed you Mother."

"I missed you more than you can ever know."

But even when her daughter looked up at her with a smile in her Stark grey eyes, Catelyn Stark could not get the same phrase out of her head.

 _You are the Queen of Rubies._

* * *

 **I know that Arya and The Hound actually arrived later than this, but I wanted them to reunited and was to impatient to wait lol.**


	9. Tears

It seemed like so long ago that she had married Catelyn. It had been quite awkward at time, and Ned had asked her how many children she wanted, just to break the silence. At the time Catelyn had wanted to have seven children. One as a gift from each god, Ned had laughed and said he hoped her dream could become reality. They had wanted two more sons after Rickon, they had planned to name them Torrhen and Brynden. Oh, how Catelyn had hoped for her perfect seven with Ned, her own sweet and strong babes.

She had been blessed with five children with Ned, and had been content with that. Sometimes, when she was alone, she imagined up ways she could have convinced Ned to stay in Winterfell all that time ago. If she had been carrying little Torrhen or Brynden, would he have stayed with her then? He had been with her for Sansa, Bran and Rickon's births, and Catelyn wasn't sure she could have survived another without him. _I'll have to survive this one without him. Or maybe I won't survive. Maybe the gods will take me once again, bring me into their dark claws._ Did she want to die? Part of her did, the part that was done with trying to survive, done with always trying to always get justice for her loved ones. But that part of her was a tiny speck in comparison to her repairing heart, that yearned to live for Sansa and Arya, yearned to hold them tight and let her arms deflect all the darkness in the world.

The Hound and Lord Royce had both been training Arya with her needle. Lysa had disapproved; Catelyn had completely ignored her. Lord Royce himself had been sceptical about training Arya at first, but after watching her have a little duel Clegane he had laughed and said she was fiercer than his sons. It was true, once Catelyn believed that a Lady's role was to be pretty and perfect, to bear children and help her Lord when he asked it of her. But now she knew that a _Lady_ didn't have a role. _Why should Arya not be able to use a sword?_ The only difference between men and women was that men didn't have to carry their mistakes with them. _Well, most men. My Robb carried his mistakes even though he was crushed underneath the weight of them. Why didn't I take the weight from him? I had much more practice him..._

No, she wouldn't think about Robb during a happy moment. It made her depressed that the thought of her own son made her was to tear her hair out, but that was how her mind worked. Catelyn had even tried to convince Sansa to join them. When she had asked, Sansa laughed and said she'd pick up a bow when her Mother picked up a sword. "I can't do swords." Catelyn had told her. "But I can do knives."

Walking down to where they were training, Catelyn picked up three knives and threw them at three targets, feeling slightly proud when she hit the bulls eye each time. _Well, I've had time to practice._ Everyone had frozen and stared at her, The Hound starting a round of applause. Catelyn had laughed, curtseyed and picked up a bow for Sansa. She tried to imagine what Ned would have said if he'd been there for a moment. _Gods, Cat, next time I go to war you're leading then van._ He would laugh and wrap his arms around her, kissing her and running his hands through her hair. And now he was gone.

Littlefinger had been prowling about as usual, winking at her when she hit the third target. It took a lot of restraint on Catelyn's part not to throw a knife at his head. She liked to think she was good enough to kill him with one knife.

Her stomach had started to swell slightly over the three weeks she had spent at the Vale, and she placed her hand on it gently as Sansa held her bow. Lord Royce showed her how to hold it properly and how to use the arrow, but she was naturally missing the target by miles. Arya was waving her sword around with a strange elegance (apparently she wasn't sword-fighting, she was 'Water dancing'. Catelyn didn't ask.) After about an hour, Sansa had finally hit the bulls eye, and everyone clapped for her, even Lysa's Sweetrobin. _With time, perhaps she'll be a little warrior like her sister. Gods, Lady Maege had the right idea. Dacey was just as talented with a sword as Brienne was. I only wish I could have saved Dacey, she had been a true friend to me. I hope that Lady Maege is happy out there somewhere, I wonder what happened to her._

Catelyn had spent a great deal of time thinking about her babe. _If only you could have been little Torrhen instead._ This child was not a Stark, it was a Lannister. And Lysa wanted it to be raised as a Lannister, wanted it to be exactly what Tywin wanted so he would be a valuable 'guest'. In truth, Lysa Arryn did not have many talents, and words was not one of them. Lysa had already decided everything, it would be called Tygett for a boy and Joanna for a girl (thought Lysa prayed for a boy). It was almost like the child wasn't Catelyn's at all. _And Tygett is a horrendous name._

As comforting as her time at the Eyrie had been, Catelyn knew she could not stay here. She may have been born in the Riverlands, but her home was in the North. Winterfell had been burnt down, but she hoped to return there anyway. _Maybe it'll tell me more about what happened to Bran and Rickon._ Catelyn wasn't exactly sure what had happened to her sweet boys, and meant to find out more about it. She would not allow them to be slaughtered without justice, she'd kill Theon Greyjoy.

Catelyn went back to her chambers and fell asleep, the babe was truly exhausting her.

* * *

A shiver went through Catelyn as she found herself surrounded by snow. She could see trees in the distance, but apart from that it was just mountains of ice and a gentle layer of snow melting into her hair. Even Winterfell hadn't had this much snow, and hadn't been this cold. A warm hand wrapped around her back, she saw a boy rubbing his hand along her arm to try and warm her. She knew straight away this was her son. Her _Lannister_ son.

This time she had a closer view of his face. The boy, he looked about sixteen, had high cheekbones and a pair of deep green eyes. They weren't cold and harsh like Tywin's, they showed slight vulnerability, not weakness per say, but a genuine kindness. His gold locks tumbled down to his shoulders like Jaime's Lannister's had when he visited Winterfell all that time ago. He was very handsome, the kind of knight that had songs written for them. "I'm sorry Mother. I've failed you, I've failed her..." This time he was actually opening his mouth to speak, Catelyn wasn't just hearing it in her mind. His voice was deeper than she'd expected, but it wasn't harsh, Catelyn thought. Well...this was a dream...it was all in her head, right? A small tear rolled down his fair skin.

"Don't cry, it's not your fault Sweetling." Catelyn heard herself say, wiping the tear from his cheek with her gloved thumb. "We will get everything back to the way it was, I promise."

"No, we won't!" The boy didn't sound angry at Catelyn, more at himself. "There is only one way to fix her, and I'll never give you to him. Never, Mother."

Catelyn felt genuine pity for her son, but she didn't even know his name. She assumed it was Tygett as Lysa had wanted. _Who is this girl he speaks of?_ Inside she was praying it wasn't Sansa or Arya, who were still his sisters by blood. _I wonder if they are close, if they love each other as my girls had once loved their other brothers._ "It's the only way." Catelyn told him. The boy shook his head and buried his face in his hands. "Gerion, look at me." _His name is Gerion. That is much nicer than Tygett, good on you future Cat._ "We will fix her. I will do everything I possibly can to help her, and you know what the means."

"She would hate herself if she knew you did this for her. You know that."

"I don't care."

"You should care. You mean more to her than her eyes do."

The picture changed. Catelyn could no longer see her son, she was standing atop of a great wall of ice, feeling fat tears flow from her eyes. In all her life Catelyn had never visited the wall, but she would have had to be a fool to think she was anywhere else. _If I've never been here, why am I dreaming it like I know it well?_ Her feet stepped much closer to the edge, her arms outstretched like a bird. A deep breath, then another. She was falling, praying that the gods would take her. _Why do I feel this way?_ A feeling of utter despair was clawing at her mind, similar to the feeling after Robb was murdered. Falling had an odd joy to it, Catelyn closed her eyes and pulled her arms in close to her chest, waiting for the ground to meet her with open arms and take her back to the darkness.

Suddenly, a tremendous crack ripped through the ground as she touched it, and she found herself submerged in lukewarm water. _There isn't water at the bottom of the wall, is there? Surely it would just freeze up?_ She began to swim up, telling herself it was stupid for a fish to die drowning. Catelyn panted as she reached the top, and almost fell back in to it when she looked around at the surface. Two strong arms of masked soldiers pulled her to her feet and dragged her to the front of the room she had appeared in.

Catelyn found herself in front of the iron throne.

One of the masked soldiers put something on her head, when Catelyn felt it she knew it was a crown. She took it off, it was a gold crown and had large rubies decorating it. Her hair suddenly felt dry, and when she down at herself she was wearing a beautiful red dress, it was bigger than any she'd seen before. It was hard to explain, but Catelyn could see herself in an invisible mirror, she looked more beautiful that she ever had before. Her hair was completely loose and her eyelashes were long and opened her eyes. The dress must have had a hundred layers of fabric, it swayed as she walked and was soft to the touch. She could feel herself walking to the throne, crown firmly back on her head.

As she sat down, Catelyn how truly uncomfortable the Iron Throne would have been if it wasn't for her dress, when she sat on her down it felt like sitting on the most amazing silk pillows.

"Bring them to me."

The masked soldiers brought Cersei Lannister, Walder Frey and Roose Bolton in chains. The look of it made her grin, and she wished this part of her dream would never end.

"Let's begin."

Blood began to run red like the rubies on her crown.

* * *

This time, she didn't wake with a scream, more with a strange sense that was reality. Catelyn had no desire to sit on the Iron Throne, but relished the idea of being able to torture Cersei Lannister, Walder Frey and Roose Bolton. Torture had never been something she had thought would delight her, but Catelyn supposed she was a changed woman. Of course that wasn't a possible reality, Catelyn Stark would never sit on the Iron Throne and she didn't want to. And yet...her son, the boy named Gerion, he wasn't cruel like he had been in the past dream. He was gentle, he was the kind of son Catelyn wanted to raise. _But he isn't real,_ Catelyn scolded herself for being so content with the dream. _It was just a dream, nothing more._

"Be a good boy, my young lion." Catelyn whispered at her little son inside her. "Be brave and strong, be kind and clever. Be everything Robb was, carry on what he started. Bring justice to the Seven Kingdoms, make the evil suffer." Perhaps Catelyn wouldn't live to torture those who deserved it, but maybe her son could do it for her.

She wasn't sure of the time, but was certain it was almost supper time. Lysa and Robin usually sat in their big wooden chair overlooking the moon door, so Catelyn looked there first. When she walked in, all she heard was a screech of ' _Look Down!',_ and Sansa crying. Catelyn froze, taking a second for the reality of what was happening to seep in to her mind. Lysa was holding her over the moon door. "Sansa!" Catelyn cried, suddenly snapping out of her frozen state, rushing down as fast as her legs would carry her."Lysa let her go!"

"She kissed him." Lysa whimpered, holding Sansa with an iron grip and thrusting her head forward. "I saw it with my own eyes, Cat. And my eyes don't lie. She needs to be punished." Catelyn grabbed Sansa's hand, attempting to pull her away from Lysa.

"So you want to throw her to her death?" Catelyn tried not to cry and held Sansa's hand tightly.

"Lysa, let her go." Petyr Baelish made his entrance, as dramatic as ever, with his scheming eyes looking apologetic. Lysa started to cry when he walked in, but did not let Sansa go. "She's a child, Cat's daughter. Let her go." _Don't you fucking dare call me Cat,_ Catelyn thought, but then realised that was the least of her problems.

Despite the burning anger Catelyn strangely felt for her sister, there was still pity in her heart. Was it really Lysa's fault that love had driven her to madness? Still, she still held Sansa over the moon door, and after this was all over they would be having stern words. _Stern words? Cat, gods, how weak are you? Someone threatens your daughter's life and your response as a stern scolding? You should be ripping her heart out!_ _No...she's your sister...ugh this is so fucked up, I just want Sansa safe!_ Sighing, Lysa relased her grip on Sansa and Catelyn pulled her daughter away from the moon door, holding her tight and letting her cry on Catelyn's shoulder.

"My sweet, silly jealous wife." Littlefinger chuckled. He was holding Lysa in his arms, letting her sob softly. "I've loved only one woman, I promise you."

Lysa Arryn smiled tremendously. "Only one? Oh, Petyr, do you swear it? Only one?"

"Only Cat." He gave her a short, sharp shove. Catelyn screamed as her little sister fell through the moon door, she let go of Sansa and ran closer. She knew it was a risk being so close to it with Littlefinger next to her, but she didn't care.

"What...what have you done..." Catelyn reached her hand out as if she could pull her back up, she could see her little sister's body falling further and further away. She hated what Lysa had done, but if anyone was going to kill her it should _never_ have been _him._ The man she was so madly in love with.

He wrapped a hand around her waist and pulled Catelyn close. "There's nothing standing between us anymore, Cat." He cupped his hand between her legs and licked his lips.

"I _told_ you not to call me Cat." Catelyn whispered, twisting her hips and throwing him through the moon door. He made no noise, only looked shocked. Sansa screamed. A gasp ripped through her body, and Catelyn collapsed to the ground, barely conscious. _What have I done?_ Was it cruel to kill someone who loved you? Did he truly love her, or did he love her appearance? She was so, so confused.

Sansa rushed over to her Mother, dragging her away from he moon door. "Mother..." She whimpered. "Are you...?"

"My sister is gone." Catelyn whispered, looking down at the stone by her head. "Littlefinger is dead. But I am alive, and you are alive. Your sister is alive. I am fine, child. Better than I've been in a long, long time."

* * *

Tywin Lannister was not an unreasonable man.

In his opinion, Catelyn was not a reasonable woman. He could not fathom quite how to deal with the problem that was Catelyn Stark. Or was it Catelyn Lannister now? Catelyn Tully? It didn't really matter. Technically, Tywin did not _need_ the heir for the Lannister name to live on. Kevan and Lancel could take the Rock when he died. But Tywin had decided long ago that Lancel Lannister would _never_ have the Rock, only his own child. Jaime had given up on it when he put on the white cloak, Tyrion wasn't worthy of anything like Casterly Rock, so Catelyn's babe was really his only choice. That was why he needed to get her back so badly.

Well, that's what he told everyone. He told them about the importance of an heir, he told them about how she needed to be returned for the sake of House Lannister.

Cersei had told him to just send an assassin and be done with it. "She's just a stupid whore, she'll bring us nothing but pain." She had said. Tywin had ignored her. Kevan had suggested bringing Littlefinger into the fold, using him to get Catelyn out of the Eyrie because they were childhood friends. From what Catelyn had said about him, Tywin knew that she was far more likely to kill him than listen to his convincing crap. So he ignored Kevan too. He had a million people telling him to do a million things, but he didn't want to do anything to her. So he ignored them all, and thought about it for hours.

He didn't want to hurt her, he didn't want to keep he as a prisoner. Tywin Lannister just wanted her to be happy.

Why did that make him sound so stupid? House Lannister needed an heir, Catelyn had the heir. _Why did I let myself fall under her charms? I was so blind, that's what she does. Men fall in love with her, they always do. That hair, her body, those eyes...they're all weapons. More powerful than any bow or lance. She can crush a heart without piercing the skin._ A few days before she'd left, a happy image had appeared in his mind. He pictured her in the nursery at Casterly Rock, playing with a toddler on the floor and cradling a new born in her arms, two boys with golden Lannister features. She would smile as he came to see him, kiss him on the cheek and say she loved him.

That had been Ned Stark's reality. Not Tywin's.

"We will lead a siege on the Eyrie." Tywin told his men after giving it a lot of thought. "We cannot attack the Eyrie, but we can cut off their food. Ser Gregor will lead a small host to burn their fields and kill their livestock, then it'll only be a matter of time before Lysa Arryn hands Catelyn back to us. They may be sisters, but she values her son far more than her sister, and would not risk any harm coming to him."

"What if Lady Catelyn escapes before we can get to her, my Lord?" Someone asked, Tywin didn't see who spoke.

He gulped. "Then you will catch her, take her daughter, Sansa Stark, and flay her living in Lady Catelyn's presence." _Be the Tywin you were before married her. Think like he would have. Be ruthless._

"Are you sure that's wise-"

"You will do as I say, or I will have your head on I spike." Tywin warned. _Be ruthless_ "But I need Lady Catelyn _alive._ She had the heir to Casterly Rock inside her, and we cannot kill her until the child is born."

Tywin had no desire to flay Sansa or kill Catelyn, but the old Tywin was telling him that it was the right thing to do. _Gods forgive me._

* * *

"What do you mean 'gone'?" Robin asked. He was tucked into his little bed and Catelyn was sat on the edge of it, holding her hands together awkwardly. Talking about death was a hard thing, especially considering her own experiences with it. Though, this time, she was 100% sure Lysa and Littlefinger were going to stay dead.

"Well, your Mother and your Uncle Petyr have gone somewhere else, they are with the gods now." She had never had to explain death to anyone like this before really, but could distinctly remember her Father explaining her Mother's death all those years ago. Catelyn had understood, she effectively became Edmure's Mother after that, and was the Lady of Riverrun. Lysa had not understood, and cried for Minisa Tully. Catelyn hoped Robin would be mature about it.

"Your Mother didn't want to leave you, Sweetling, but she didn't have a choice. She's in a better place now."

Suprisingly, Robin didn't cry. Perhaps he didn't quite understand the situation. He seemed like the type of boy who'd cry at everything. "So I don't have a Mother now. But I need a Mother, don't I?"

"Your Mother will always be with you, Robin. In your heart, she will live on." Catelyn soothed, rubbing his arm gently.

"I don't want a Mother in my heart. I want one next to me, who will tell me stories and hug me when I cry. I want a Mother who knows my favourite foods and gives it to me on my name days, a Mother who will let me ride a horse and swing a sword like my Father did. My old Mother never let me do that, she always said I'd get hurt and it wasn't safe. Will you be my new Mother, Lady Catelyn? Will you let me be like my Father, like I'm supposed to be." Her heart truly went out to Robin. Perhaps he was a whiny child, but he still was Lysa's son, and Catelyn swore to protect him in her memory. He was also a lot smarter than he let on. Smarter than Lysa had given him credit for.

She took his hand a kissed it softly. "Lysa will always be your Mother, you need to know that. You can call me aunt Cat, if you like. But now I shall protect you as if you my own, I swear it by the old gods and new. It's getting late, you should get some rest, and in the morning you can go outside and train with Arya and Sansa. Would you like that?"

"I'd like that, aunt Cat." He smiled. Maybe he didn't quite register what had happened to his Mother, but it did seem quite a good thing that he wasn't completely distraught. Things would be more positive for Robin Arryn.

Catelyn left him in his room and closed the door, wandering back to her own chambers. _I'm sorry I let him do that to you Lysa. I promise I'll try and protect Robin. I should have had killed Littlefinger years ago...how happier would our lives had been if he wasn't there? I would still be in Winterfell, Ned would be alive and my children too. You would still be here with Robin, you would have been able to watch him grow. I hope he burns in the seventh hell, sweet sister._


	10. Babes

**This is a lil fast forward, it's been a few months and Catelyn has been helping Robin rule the Vale and train her children. I hope no one really minds, I suppose I could have written a bit for Lysa's funeral and stuff (even though they wouldn't have her body) but I wanted to move on to Tywin's attempt of getting his wife back...I hope you enjoy xx**

* * *

The Lords of the Vale had collectively agreed that Catelyn should act as Robin's regent until he came of age, after everything that happened that had come to trust her. It had suprised her a little to hear that Robin had asked for her specially, though their relationship had grown significantly since he began calling her 'Aunt Cat'. Perhaps not because she was Lysa's sister, after all, everyone knew how troubled Lysa was, but because she had successfully released them from Littlefinger's grasp. He had too much power as Lysa's husband, you'd have to be a fool to deny that. And it was never a good idea to give Littlefinger power.

But that was not the most of Catelyn's concerns anymore. As Robin's regent, the people of the Vale were her responsibility, and not all had been calm.

Gregor Clegane had been seen attacking smaller villages in the Vale, burning up their fields and stealing everything they owned. If it had been Lysa as regent, she would have told everyone to forget the smallfolk because her Sweetrobin was safe, and that's all that mattered. Catelyn was not so naïve. Individually a common man or woman could not do much against a high Lord or Lady, but when banded together they could be far more powerful than any army Catelyn had beside her. "I assume Tywin Lannister is responsible for this." She sighed. Lord Royce, Lady Waynwood, Lord Belemore, Lord Corbray and several other lords were keeping her company in Jon Arryn's old solar. She wasn't quite sure if it was her solar now, but spent an awful lot of time in it. _A woman with a solar. What would my uncle have said? 'Gods Cat, I always knew you were more use than your brother. Good on you'. Do I want a solar? Not for the price of discussing war, war is the last thing that I want._ "Send a raven to Lord Tywin, tell him I will meet in person to arrange a treaty. I want a chance at peace before any more men are slaughtered without reason."

"My Lady, you are in no fit state, you must rest at this time." Anya Waynwood said, gesturing at Catelyn's swollen stomach. True, Catelyn was now quite heavy with child, but she was not useless. The babe was not due to arrive for yet another two moons, and she was perfectly capable of climbing down that awful mountain that led up to the Eyrie and meeting with her husband. _My Lord Husband. What a wife I've been._ Well, she would only be able to go down with Mya Stone to help her. It was scary enough without another human inside her to sway her balance.

"I am with child, not mortally ill. I thank you for your concern, Lady Waynwood, but I promise I am beyond capable of coming to some sort of agreement." Catelyn replied, sternly but not cruelly. "I want Sandor Clegane with me at all times, and soldiers ready for anything he could try and do. While I am gone, it should only be a few nights, I expect Lord Robin and my daughter's training to continue. If by chance Tywin Lannister finds away to invade the Eyrie in my absence, I want them all able to protect themselves at least a little. If the time ever comes when the castle is under attack and I am not here, pick three of your best men to take the children away. Send the raven, Maester Coleman. I want this meeting arranged as soon as possible." The Maester quickly left the room.

"What if negotiations are not successful, my Lady?" Yohn Royce asked. Catelyn had thought he'd be more sceptical about letting a woman lead them, but she was no stranger to battles and sieges. She had learnt a lot from her Father, from Ned and Robb, and believed herself capable of overcoming this situation with words and not violence. Maybe Yohn Royce understood that

"Then you will do as I said, and we kill them all." Catelyn smiled at him. "In the situation of a formal attack, you'll have three quarters of the archers at the top of the mountains firing down at his army. Your swordsmen will stay closer to the castle, and will have the advantage with higher ground. The rest of the archers will remain in the Eyrie, hidden on the roof. On the off chance they make it here, you slaughter them before they know what had hit them." All the Lords seemed impressed by her strategy. "Though, if I am successful, it will not come to that. And please, if you see any flaws in this plan, I would truly appreciate your counsel. After all, I am only a woman with a basic knowledge of warfare."

No one had any further counsel to offer, so only thanked her for her time and left her in the solar alone.

A week later, Maester Coleman had presented her with Tywin's message back. The seal was the sign of the Hand of the King. _I suppose Tommen is King now. He will be better on the throne than his brother, no doubt, but he is only a child. He cannot know who to trust and who to betray, who to listen to and who to hang. Cersei rules now._ Tommen was a sweet child, Catelyn had truly had emotions towards the boy, but sweetness was not a tool of survival in Westeros.

She didn't mind the maester at the Eyrie, he was nice enough and did his duty, but Catelyn couldn't help wishing maester Luwin was there instead. The Maester at Winterfell had always been a true friend to her, he had delivered Sansa, Arya, Bran and Rickon so they had very few secrets between them. He had taught her children how to read and write, about the houses and geography of Westeros. Was every maester as dedicated as maester Luwin had been? _He's probably gone now too, he was probably killed when Theon savaged my sons._ The thought was bitter. _I hope he didn't suffer too much. He was a good man, a true man. He deserved better than that Greyjoy shit. I can't believe I allowed him to live with us for so long. I suppose I could not have done much about it, though._

Catelyn opened it in his presence, telling him that Tywin had agreed to meet on the terms that none of his men would be harmed, and none of hers in return. She knew Tywin wouldn't dare hurt her when he found out she was carrying his precious heir, though the chances were that Littlefinger had told him before he died.

The meeting date was two days away, Catelyn was not surprised to see Tywin had already been in the Vale. The thought of him being so close troubled her sleep. Sleeping had proved a challenge that night more than most, this babe kicked far more than any of her other children had, even Arya. Sometimes she imagined that there must be at least eight legs inside of her to kick _that_ much. Eventually, it seemed her little Lannister son had tired himself out, and Catelyn drifted off too sleep, thinking about his Lannister Father.

* * *

Her slumber was rudely awakened by a shouting daughter. "CATELYN TULLY STARK!" Arya yelled, throwing her heavy oak door open with one swift thrust. _How does such a small child have such force?_ Catelyn almost laughed as her daughter was mirroring what she used to do in Winterfell when one of her children had done something wrong. Once, when Arya had cut a whole in Sansa's mattress and stuffed it with sheep dung Catelyn had stormed all around the castle screaming 'ARYA STARK!' at the top of her voice. It was funny to hear Arya doing the same thing at her.

"Arya, I was asleep." Catelyn sighed, rubbing her left eye and belly simultaneously. "What are you so angry about?"

"That you are meeting with Tywin Lannister and didn't find it necessary to tell _me!_ I'm coming with you, I'll kill him if he so much as lays a _finger_ on you." Arya had begun pacing through Catelyn's bedchamber, angrily waving her needle at things, and getting dangerously close to ripping the curtains. Catelyn patted the bed next to her, and Arya took the seat. Arya rested her head on Catelyn's shoulder with a sigh, putting her sword down next to her, and received a kiss on the forehead.

"I was going to tell you today, Sweetling. But he is a dangerous man, and I don't want you coming with me." Arya's hair had grown down to her shoulders, Catelyn didn't want to force her to grow it any further. That length suited her, it made her look like a soldier but also a girl. "It is not safe for you."

Arya shrugged. "If I'm not going, your not going. It's as safe for me as it is for you." She had that stubborn look on her face, the one she always had when putting up a fight.

"I have Sandor Clegane to protect me, Arya. I will be perfectly safe."

"I am your _daughter._ I can protect you a hundred times better than anyone else, please. I'll just stand next to your chair and cut anyone's throat who tries to touch you." She batted her big grey eyes at Catelyn cutely, as she had as a child when asking for a sword for her name day. If only Catelyn had gotten her a sword for her name day instead of a pony. Though, looking back on it, Arya had been very happy with her pony.

Catelyn laughed. "You may not like to admit it, but you are still a child. I just don't want you to get hurt, that's all."

"And I don't want _you_ to get hurt. So, I'll go with you to meet Tywin, and we'll all be happy and move on with our lives. Good?"

"Only if you promise to stop wearing dresses."

Arya frowned. "I thought you wanted me to wear dresses, didn't you?"

"I did, but every time you put one on it ends up covered in mud and a manner of other things. In future I'll give the dresses to little Chenai or someone like that who'd truly appreciate it'll, you just ruin the fabric." It was true; Arya had worn a few dresses to meals since her arrival at the Eyrie, but Catelyn had began to feel more comfortable with her daughter in her usual fighting attire. The gowns were wasted on someone who hated them, and Arya did not seem insulted at all.

"I promise I won't wear another dress. I'll go find the Hound, he said that we're going back down the mountains. It was quite fun last time, I almost fell off one bit but it was fine." Arya practically skipped out of chambers, and Catelyn flopped back down onto her pillow. _She nearly fell off the mountain?_ Raising a child was wonderful, but this time had always been Catelyn's least favourite, the beginning. When your stomach is so big you can't see your feet when you look down, when you lose energy more quickly than a dragon could blow fire. If only the babe was Arya's age already, that would make things much easier. Or would it? Catelyn wasn't sure. But it would certainly help with her sleeping.

Her new babe had been a little troublesome in other ways as well. Sansa was very enthusiastic for her new little brother or sister (Catelyn assumed brother), she had been going on and on about baby names and decorations for the nursery. Ever since that dream she'd had all that time ago, Catelyn was adamant that her boy would be called Gerion. Tywin's youngest brother had been called Gerion, he had sailed to the ruins of Valyria to try and retrieve the Lannister family sword. He had never returned, but his bastard daughter had remained. Tywin had felt obliged to take care of the girl because Gerion had loved her so much, her name was Joy. Gerion and Catelyn had never met, but he seemed preferable to all his older brothers.

Tywin's other brothers were called Kevan and Tygett, but Kevan was still alive and Tygett was a truly _horrible_ name. Sansa had wanted to call him Aemon after the dragonknight, or Florian, and had even suggested Loras after the Knight of Flowers. It was sweet how she had blushed and quickly changed her mind about the last one. _I hope she had learned the danger in love. Though I suppose a little swooning won't matter._ For a girl, Sansa had asked about Minisa, for Catelyn's Mother, or Naerys for the dragonknight's lover. Catelyn hadn't even thought about a name for a girl, she was so adamant that her babe was going to be little Gerion.

The thing that had worried Catelyn was Arya. The girl seemed to be pretending the babe didn't exist, that her Mother would never have any children with anyone but Ned Stark. Would she resent her new brother or sister, like Catelyn had resented Jon Snow? Now Catelyn truly understood how Ned must have felt every time something happened between the two of them, how hard it would have been to chose between his son and his wife. If Arya hated this child, would she have to pick between her daughter and her Lannister son? _You'd pick Arya, and leave a babe on it's own in the world. Cruel, cruel woman. I shall just pray it never comes to that;_

When it was born, would she still act the same way? Catelyn hoped that their relationship wouldn't be changed by their different Father's.

Though, then again, if Catelyn was Arya she probably would have tricked herself into drinking moon tea by now.

Catelyn sighed and sat up, cursing her back as an ache pestered at her back. The night before her things had been prepared for her short trip, usually she would have been able to make the journey there and back in less that a day, but this time Lady Waynwood insisted that she spend the night at one of the castles leading up to the Eyrie. _For the babe. Is the babe the one with ridiculous back pain, I think not!_

Another strange thing was that, in her own strange way, Catelyn missed having Tywin around. She didn't love him, she barely even liked the man, but he had always defended her to Joffrey, always tried to comfort her when she was upset. He had loved her, and she had rejected him. _For every gift of love the gods give us, they take two away._ Catelyn had told him that once. Perhaps then he didn't quite realise the truth of it until his grandson and wife had left him. Not that he had loved Joffrey very much. Still, they were of the same blood, and blood meant a great deal to Tywin Lannister.

No, in truth, she didn't miss Tywin. She missed having someone to run crying too, someone to take care of her problems and make her worries disappear the best they could. As the regent of the Lord Protector of the Vale, she had to play that part for young Robin now, whether she liked it or not. Letting someone else take care of you was easy, taking care of a kingdom was much harder. All this did was remind Catelyn that she would never want to sit on the Iron Throne. _That's a shit ton of responsibility. No wonder half the Targaryen king's were mad._

 _Do your duty, Catelyn Tully. Do your duty to your nephew._ A small boy knocked on the door of her chambers with a grin on his face and a small cake in his hand. He stuffed his face with the cake, and then began to speak between chews. To any other Lady, this would have been very disrespectful, but Catelyn found it more funny than anything. "My Lady, the mules are all saddled and your things are being taken to the Bloody Gate. The Hound told me to tell you, and excuse my language, 'Can you tell Lady Catelyn to hurry up, or I'll end up killing my fucking self from boredom.'"

Catelyn laughed to herself. "Tell him that I would be faster if I could be, but there is a babe inside my belly that does slow my process of getting ready significantly." The boy ran off and Catelyn waddled out of her chambers the best she could. She didn't normally waddle, but after waking it took a few minutes before she could walk properly again. _At least I'm not bedridden, like I had been with Bran. But Bran's gone now..._

"Thank the fucking gods our Queen has arrived." The Hound jested and bowed as she arrived. It was meant as a joke, she knew, but anyone calling her a Queen made her feel uneasy. Catelyn could still remember the dream she'd had many moons ago clear as day, where she had been on the Iron Throne, with her crown of Rubies. What was the significance of Rubies? Are they important in her mind because they are red, Lannister red? _No, it's because blood seems to flow down a deathly river for everyone you love. Red like Rubies._

Their party was far larger than Catelyn had anticipated, Sandor Clegane and Arya were mounting their horses, and at least three dozen knights were preparing to join them. Apparently Catelyn's absolute protection had been at the request of little Robin, which truly was sweet of him. The night before he had hugged her for the first time. "Promise you'll come back, Aunt Cat?" He had asked, his big eyes looking up at her as his lip trembled. "Come back soon?"

Catelyn had kissed his forehead softly and laughed. "I will return, Sweetling. I swear this to you, as I have to sworn to protect you." She had told him. She intended to keep her promise, Catelyn had every intention to return to Robin and Sansa.

The mule she was given was nice enough, but nothing like her Visenya had been. Catelyn found herself missing her old horse, the beast that had taken her too and from the lion's claws. _This time tomorrow I shall be sat in a room with Tywin Lannister. I will propose peace, he will refuse. He will demand something, most likely this babe in return for peace. I will refuse. He will have a clever plan on how to progress, and not underestimate me again. I must think like I man to defeat him. Think as Robb thought, as Ned would have thought. And then I must do the opposite._

* * *

The Vale had always been an uncomfortable place, Tywin found. It was full of mountains and forests, of wild mountain clans and shadowcats. The first Lord's of the Vale, even when outnumbered 100 to 1, had always won their battles. Because they knew their mountains, and they knew how to use them. Perhaps before he had been foolish in believing that Lysa Arryn would just hand over her sister. He should have known that Lysa would not last long, not with Littlefinger having his fantasy bride back under the same roof. Perhaps he had been a fool to think he had any chance against Catelyn and the Vale, his only conciliation was that she was not from the Vale, and would not know it like someone born there would. _Well, she didn't know King's Landing so well, but still managed to wriggle her way outside of that one._

She was late. Her party had arrived earlier that morning as Tywin's men had walked up to the bloody gate, her archers with their crossbows pointed at their hearts.

Tywin had trusted that they would kill them, as Tywin had her word and guestright. Though, the same could have been said for Robb Stark and Walder Frey, and Catelyn was now a Lannister by law. _A Lannister pays his debts._

They had been taken to a big meeting room, seated and given food to eat. _Lady Catelyn will arrive momentarily._ It had been almost a full hour since they'd been told that, and Tywin was growing impatient. Perhaps she was trying to take fashionably late to a new level.

Finally, her men started to enter. First just armoured knights of the Vale, with their falcon sigil prominent on their breastplates. Then it had been a very familiar Clegane, Tywin had wondered how he had ended up in the service of Catelyn, but the matter didn't seem important enough to ask about. Finally, his wife entered the room with a girl on her arm, the girl was slightly shorter and was wearing men's clothes. _That girl looks like a Stark..._ Catelyn herself was looking as radiant as ever, the large swell of her stomach reminding him how he was here for his heir, not the woman he loved. Sansa wasn't present, nor had he expected her to be.

"Lord Tywin." Catelyn said as she sat down. "You look...well."

"As do you, my Lady." Tywin replied formally.

"May I just introduce my first guard, Sandor Clegane. I believe you have met." Catelyn pointed to the man with the burnt face. "And my daughter, Arya Stark. They are both here to ensure that anyone who tried to harm me is brutally murdered."

"You found Arya?" Tywin raised an eyebrow, though it was very believable that the girl was a Stark. Even Littlefinger and Varys hadn't been able to find Arya Stark, everyone had assumed she was dead. Now she stood by her Mother, sword in hand, giving Tywin a glare that could have literally burned right through him. _A Stark indeed..._

"I didn't find her, someone else did. But that is besides the point. The point is, that Robert Arryn, the Lord protector of the Vale, is asked you to leave his smallfolk alone. They have done nothing to you, nor has the Vale. Leave us in peace, and not one Lannister life shall be taken. You have my word"

Tywin cleared his throat. "I have no wish to rage war with your nephew, my Lady. It is the child inside your womb that I need, and you know that perfectly well. Here is what _I_ propose. I will call my armies back, pay his smallfolk thrice the gold that they lost. _But,_ you will come with me."

"I am Lord Robert's regent. My place is by his side, I'm sorry, but I cannot leave him." Catelyn was twirling a strand of her auburn hair in her fingers. "As for the babe, it is mine. But, I do realise that it is also yours. If it is a boy, I will raise him in the Lannister name, and he will take Casterly Rock when you pass. I have already selected the Lannister name of Gerion for him, I hope you will approve. He will be loyal to his house, you have my word." She paused, biting her lip. "If it's a girl, we have no quarrel. That is what will happen if you leave the Vale, if you do not then your men will be slaughter and I will have your head on a spike. Am I clear enough, Lord Tywin, or would you like Arya to demonstrate what will happen to your men?"

"You are very clear, my Lady." Tywin said coolly. "And I am a reasonable man. I understand that you and your daughters have not seen each other in a long time, and I understand that you will want to be together, no matter the consequences. I will leave the Vale alone if and when the babe in your belly is handed to house Lannister, and when this happens King Tommen will release you of all charges. The babe is not born, you have no feelings for it as yet. This is not a task of great difficulty that I ask you."

Catelyn didn't speak to start with, only moved her hands in slow circles over her swollen stomach. She took Arya's hand and kissed it, letting her daughter help her to her feet. After receiving a nod from Catelyn, the Hound started to send her knights out of the room. "Lord Tywin, I don't suppose you've ever carried a babe inside you. This is your heir, but is also my child, so do not presume I have no feelings for it. I do not give out idle threats. And you did not agree to my terms." She left the room with Arya on her arm, leaving Tywin in an awkward silence.

He did not want to go to war with Catelyn. He had been to war with her son, and had nearly lost his reputation for it. Robb, however smart he was, was still a green boy, with the honour of his Father weighing down on him. Catelyn was as much green as she was a boy, and had a mind Tywin could never truly read. _She is a woman. She thinks like a woman. And if Catelyn Tully has taught me anything, it's that having a cock does not make you stronger than someone without._

This wasn't a choice Tywin could make.

It was either Catelyn's life, the woman he loved more than anything.

Or House Lannister.

And Tywin knew that love was temporary, and legacy could be eternal. He would not let House Lannister be destroyed by a pretty woman with burning hair.

* * *

"Fucking hell." Catelyn muttered to herself as her babe kicked vigorously. She had found herself cursing far more since spending time with the Hound, but in truth she did not care. In her mind, things like language and gender were no longer important. _Family._ That was the only thing that mattered now.

Would Tywin launch an attack on her during the night? Once Catelyn had thought him too honourable to have part in anything so dishonourable, so deceitful and un-lordly. The Red Wedding had proved her wrong. To make sure she was safe, Arya had made sure three guards were positioned at her door at all times, and had even insisted on sleeping in the same room.

The chambers Catelyn had been given were small, but it was the best they could give her. Arya was shifting uncomfortably on the floor with a blanket and a few pillows, Catelyn had offered her daughter the bed but the girl had insisted that she could sleep well enough without a mattress and silk sheets. "Sweetling." Catelyn whispered down to her. "Come up, this bed is big enough for the both of us. I do not like to see you so uncomfortable."

"Really, I'm fine-"

"Arya." It was dark, so Arya couldn't see, but Catelyn raised an eyebrow at her.

The girl sighed and picked up her pillow, crawling under the sheets next to Catelyn. If this situation had taken place about seven months ago, it would have been fine, but because Catelyn's stomach was so large, it touched Arya's back no matter how far she shuffled away. "Mother, your child is kicking my back."

"Would you like me to turn around?"

"If you wouldn't mind." Slowly, Catelyn heaved herself up and managed to flop back down facing the other way.

"You know that this is your little brother or sister, Arya. It is not just 'my child'."

"I know..." She started, before biting her lip. "I just...when I was younger I always wanted a little sister or brother, one just like me that I could play with in the courtyard, that would help me stuff sheep shit in Sansa's bed." It still surprised Arya a little when her Mother didn't tell her off for cursing. "And...I suppose I did that stuff with Bran and Rickon a bit, but half the time I couldn't even find Bran because he was up some wall, and Rickon was to small to _really_ do anything. I knew if I waited long enough we could go for adventures together in the godswood, climb trees and pretend they were climbing the Wall. But I had to go to King's Landing before we could...and now..." Arya gulped. "It's just, I don't want to replace my little brothers with a Lannister knock off. Bran and Rickon were my brothers, and they cannot be replaced."

"Oh, Sweetling." Catelyn felt her eyes pool with tears. "I did not wish for this child, but it is what the gods have given me. Your brothers will always have their places in my heart, not one, not one hundred other children could make me forget them. I want you to know that." They took each others hands, knowing that if they died tonight, it would be with someone who would never stop loving those who mattered most.


	11. Nights

"Lord Robin, your letters have improved greatly, but you must use your _right_ hand to write." Maester Coleman scolded lightly. Catelyn had never understood why it was so important to write with your right hand, she could remember hours of being scolded for using her left to write. Arya used her left hand for swordplay as well, perhaps it was something thar ran in the family. What difference did it make, left or right handed?

It had been sweet how excited Robin had been when Catelyn had re-entered the Eyrie. Sansa had been relieved as well, the girl had been paranoid that something was going to happen.

Tywin was going to attack the Eyrie, Catelyn knew. Like an idiot, he was going to attack.

Her plan was already in motion, though. A ship would sail from Heart's Home in exactly one week, Catelyn would be on it. She planned to take Sansa, Arya, Robin, Amorea and Chenai, with the Hound and her own selection of guards to escort them. From Heart's Home they would sail to Eastwatch-by-the-sea, where Catelyn hoped the Night's Watch would give them a roof and bed for a few short days. Then they would ride for Bear Island, Catelyn had been good friends with Maege Mormont and knew that she could be trusted. Bear Island would be safe for them until something clearer came into her mind. _Maybe we should just sail away to Essos, live as spice traders and forget about this whole nightmare._

Lady Waynwood had tried to insist that Catelyn stay in the Eyrie until the babe arrives, because she was almost at term now. In fact, Rickon had been so early that by this time Catelyn had already had him. She didn't want to wait long though, it was much easier to travel with a baby in the belly that a kicking and screaming newborn. "Are you excited for our journey, Lord Arryn?" Catelyn sat by Robin uncomfortably, but smiled anyway. He loved it when she called him Lord Arryn.

"I always wanted to see the Wall." Robin nodded, looking up as if he was imagining it. "But...do we have to go so soon, Aunt Cat? This is my home...I don't want to leave..."

"Oh, Sweetling, you'll come back. We're just going for a little trip across Westeros, and before you know it you'll be back here, in the Eyrie, all tucked up in your bed with master Coleman teaching you to write better." Catelyn gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and ran her hand through his hair.

In truth, Catelyn had never been to the wall herself. Her dreams had taken there more than once, but Catelyn had never seen the colossal ice structure in person. She was not excited by the possibility of seeing Jon Snow again, though he had gone to Castle Black not Eastwatch-by-the-sea so it was probably unlikely. If they did meet again by chance, Catelyn would apologise for the way she treated him, and swear never to say a word against him again. He would nod gracefully, and say that she had never mistreated him, they way he always had done.

He was a good courteous boy, Catelyn had always knew that. Definitely much easier to deal with than her own sons, gods, they had been harder to discipline than a bear.

A guard ran up to the room in a hurried breath quite suddenly. Catelyn had made a task of learninf the names of all the household guard, but had only gotten around to Big Brenn, Karamen and Alyn. "My Lady!" He gasped, Catelyn regretfully did not know his name. "The Eyrie...Lannister's...they're coming..."

"What do you mean, they're coming?" Catelyn snapped, pulling herself to her feet. Her interest in his name had suddenly decreased a thousand fold, and she didn't like these things were being said in front of Robin.

"Lannister men have started attacking the bloody gate." The man still seemed exhausted. "His army is about 35,000 strong. As you instructed, the archers are firing down on them with a quarter of our resources."

Catelyn took a moment to stop and think, before kissing Robin's forehead and telling maester Coleman to start packing a bag for the little lord. It wasn't fair to worry such a little boy over such adult matters, not to the extent it was worrying Catelyn. _He couldn't get through, could he? Gods, I hadn't planned to leave today...we were supposed to have a few more days..._ "We need to get the children away. He may be overpowered at the Bloody Gate, but I am not willing to place by family's lives on a guess. Tell Amorea, Chenai and my daughters to pack their things quickly, and have horses saddled in the courtyard. Make all the necessary preparations for our journey to Heart's Home." The man nodded and dashed off, Maester Coleman hurridly got Robin's things together as Catelyn waddled back to her room. It shamed her to admit it, but waddling truly was the best she could do at this point. After throwing a few gowns, undergarments and Ammett's knife into a box, Catelyn headed out to the courtyard.

The Hound was in the courtyard saddling a horse, Catelyn smiled when she saw him. "And the great escape begins." She said as he turned around to face her.

"Tywin Lannister's a fucking nightmare. You're doing the right thing." Catelyn wondered if he would ever smile at her, after everything she had given him in return for Arya. _He doesn't need to smile as long he does his job._

After about five minutes of waiting, everyone else arrived in the courtyard with their things. Sansa had a crate of clothes and her needlework, next to Arya who had a potato sack with some boys clothes and arrows, with her own needle held in hand. They had packed a bow for Sansa, it would be more difficult on the road but Catelyn still wanted her to practice when possible. She had been getting a lot better now, she could always hit the target now. "Mother, can I take the black horse?" Arya asked, stroking the dark horse's back. Catelyn had chosen a white horse, it reminded her of her own horse Visenya that she'd been forced to leave behind in King's Landing. _Such a sweet beast...I wonder if Tywin butchered her in my memory._

"Take whichever horse you want, Sweetling." Catelyn smiled at her weakly, now worrying about her nephew. Robin could ride, but his legs were weak and he would struggle after a while. Perhaps he would just have to sit on the Hound's lap, she would have offered her own but the babe made her legs quite inaccessible to sit on. _He will not want Robin sitting on his lap...but I suppose I'll cross that bridge when I come to it._ Once everyone was in their saddles, they set off down the mountain to Hearts's Home. _To safety, I hope._

* * *

The Vale was not a good place for riding, Catelyn discovered a few hours into their journey. The path was rocky and difficult, Robin was already tired of riding and the babe kicked endlessly. _Is it because of the journey, or because it's boring in there?_ Catelyn wondered as her hand traced a circle across her midriff. "Let's play a game." Arya said to her mother, sister and cousin boldly. "I'll describe a situation, and you have to say what you'd do if the situation was real." Sansa nodded cautiously. "So your standing in a forest, it's snowing gently and your all warm and happy. But then everything goes cold..." Robin yelped and Catelyn sighed, she could have sworn Old Nan had told Arya this story. "And you see a great big White Walker! What would you do?"

"I'd run away." Sansa said replied. "But White Walkers aren't real, stupid."

"I never said the situation had to be real." Arya huffed, crossing her arms. "You do one then."

"Fine." Sansa looked up in thought. "You're sitting in a chamber in your very own castle, rocking your very own baby to sleep, when a man jumps through the window and tried to steal it. What would you do?"

"I'd stab him in the heart and throw him his corpse back out of the window." Arya shrugged and Catelyn snorted, grinning at her youngest daughter. Her horse jerked upwards and a pain shot through her abdomen, but she ignored it. It was funny how different her two daughter's opinions were.

"I think we'd all do that, Sweetling." Catelyn stroked between her mare's ears. "Let me do one. If you were crowned queen, what would be your first decree?"

Sansa stopped to think, but Arya already knew. "I'd kill Cersei Lannister, and the Mountain, and every other stupid person who bothered me. Apart from you, Mother. You bother me sometimes but I know that's just your job, and I'd never have you killed." Catelyn raised her eyebrow at the 'it's your job to bother me' part.

"Push them all through a moon door." Robin smiled shyly. "I think I'd do that too."

 _I wonder, did Lysa ever once tell this boy that murder is not something to take pride in?_ "I would have little princesses and princes, but I'd make it so women could take the throne if they were born first, Myrcella once told me they do things like that in Dorne. Like if I had been born before Robb, I'd be heir to Winterfell no matter how many brothers I had." Sansa smiled proudly at her answer but her little sister rolled her eyes. Another pain hit Catelyn suddenly, and she became very aware of what was happening. _Don't say anything yet. Don't worry them before they need to be worried._

"Clegane, how long do you think it'll be before we stop for the night?" Catelyn called to The Hound who was riding at the front. She had refused to call him The Hound, and was a little too nervous to call him by his first name. Clegene felt a little rude to shout at him, but he didn't seem to mind.

"A few hours at most." He yelled back. "We'll stop as soon as it gets dark, I don't want your little lordling running into a tree in the dark."

Robin shrivelled his nose up and blushed in embarrassment, but didn't reply, so Catelyn patted his shoulder gently to try and save his confidence. "It's going to be a long ride, I fear."

* * *

Catelyn's party stopped about four hours later in a little abandoned hut they found on the track. Sansa had wanted to light a fire immediately, but the mountain tribes could have seen that and attacked them during the night. They had guards, but not enough to defend themselves from an entire mountain clan. From past experience, Catelyn knew just how ferocious some of them were, and did not want to have another violent meeting with them.

Her pains had gotten worse and closer together through the ride, but she had done her best to disguise her pain. After all, this was her sixth birth, and she was no stranger to the malaise. _Perhaps I can just hold on until morning..._

"Children, you need your rest for tomorrow. There are no beds here, so hay is the best we'll find. I know it'll be uncomfortable, but I can't offer you anything else." Arya, Amorea and Chenai took to the hay quite quickly and dozed off, but Sansa and Robin couldn't quite get used to the uncomfortable beds. Catelyn wondered how long it had taken Arya to get used to floor and hay apposed to silk and sheets.

"Mother, I can't sleep." Sansa whispered through the dark. Catelyn had sat herself against the wall on the other side of the room, she didn't want the children hearing her in the event that the pain did get a little too much. In truth, she had made no preparations for the birth at all, she had prayed that the babe wouldn't come until they at least reached Heart's Home. Perhaps that had been foolish of her, now she came to think about it. _Well, not much I can do about it now..._

"Lie down, Sweetling." Catelyn instructed, hearing the shuffling Sansa made in order to try and get comfortable.

" _The Father's face is stern and strong,  
he sits and judges right from wrong.  
_ _He weighs our lives, the short and long,  
_ _and loves the little children."_

Catelyn had always had a sweet voice, her septa had always encouraged her to sing and set Lysa an example.

" _The Mother gives the gift of life,  
and watched over every wife.  
_ _Her gentle smile ends all strife..."_

Catelyn winced as another pain hit her, holding her stomach as the pain hit her. A pool of water formed on the floor underneath her. _No...gods, why couldn't you just hold on a little longer?_ Before she'd always had a maester to help her with birth, but this time she was on her own. _Would it be fair to ask Sansa to help me? Do I have a choice?_

"Aunt Cat, why did you stop singing?" Robin asked quietly, and Catelyn gulped.

"Sansa, can you please come over here." Her voice was sweet and soft to hide the underlying panic rushing through her mind. Her daughter shuffled over to the other side of the room, leaning back against the wall once she was close enough to whisper. "Sweetling, don't panic. Promise me you won't panic."

"I promise..." Sansa frowned, but Catelyn could barely see it through the dark. "Why would I panic?"

"The babe is coming."

"What?!" Sansa cried, Catelyn clamped her hand over her mouth in order to keep the others asleep.

"I wouldn't ask if I had anyone else. You need to help me outside, you need to tell someone to build a fire, and you need to make sure the children stay asleep. If you really need help, wake Amorea. I am ever so sorry to put this burden on you, sweetling, but if I could keep this baby inside me any longer I promise I would." Sansa nodded and helped Catelyn to her feet, slowly making it into the moonlight outside. It was much brighter than Catelyn had expected her, there was a certain beauty in the clarity of the night. The guards were posted around the little house, some drifting off to sleep against logs and some taking first watch.

"What's your name?" Sansa snapped at one of them. Her opened his mouth to reply. "There's no time for introductions, I need you to build a fire outside. Can you do that?" _I've never seen her be so firm with someone. I'm proud._

"What the fucking hell are you two doing?" The Hound said as he walked over. Normally, Catelyn would have corrected him on his tone and inform him that it was no proper way to speak to a lady, but the pain shooting through her abdomen was more prominent in her mind. She grinded her teeth to stop any noise escaping her lips. The prominent scar on his face no longer bothered her as it had after the first few days of meeting him. It had taken long enough for life to teach Catelyn that beauty was not everything.

Sansa sighed. "The babe is coming." The Hound looked to Catelyn with wide eyes and received a silent nod.

"Well fuck me." His hands went up in the air. "Go push that thing out quick, I want to be on the road at first light." Sansa's eyebrows furrowed angrily and she looked like she was going to yell at him, but Catelyn patted her shoulder gently. This was no time for an argument.

"Sweetling..." Catelyn whispered. "Don't...just don't."

They slowly made away to the fire and Catelyn laid down on the ground, leaning her head against a log. She shifted uncomfortably as Sansa ran her hand through her hair, as Catelyn had done to her so many times in Winterfell. "I...what do I need to do Mother?"

Catelyn gulped. "Do you...do you know where the babe will come out, Sansa?" Sansa nodded and blushed. They hadn't really spoken about that kind of thing in the past, it had always been so uncomfortable. "I..you need to..." Catelyn gritted her teeth again as another pain hit her, and squeezed her daughter's hand.

"What's going on?" Both Sansa and Catelyn's eyes shot back to the little house where they'd been trying to sleep, Arya was standing in the doorway rubbing her eyes. "Mother, why aren't you inside...oh." Her eyes widened. "Oh gods! It's the babe, isn't it?"

When Rickon had been born, Arya had been standing by the door curiously for hours. She kept asking the maester why her Mother was screaming, where the babe was, if it would be there soon. Catelyn had thought that Arya would have made a good maester had she been born a boy, a good maester but a better knight.

"Go-go back inside, Sweetling." Catelyn tried to smile at her, but it was clearly forced. "You are too young to witness the childbed. Go, sleep."

"It isn't a childbed, it's a child-forest-floor, and you do not need to shield me from things anymore Mother. It isn't fair that Sansa is allowed out here and I'm not." Arya crossed her arms and sat on the other side of her mother.

"Stop it, Arya. Your acting like a child." Catelyn scolded in the most stern voice she could muster.

"I _am_ a child. And my little brother is coming into the world tonight, I don't want to sleep through it. I want to help you the best I can." Arya didn't know much about the childbirth in truth, but once in Winterfell she'd heard one of the serving girls having her babe and had gone to see why she was screaming so much. Catelyn Stark was not a serving girl, she was her mother, and this was not Winterfell, it was a muddy forest floor. "I'll do my best."

* * *

 _Why doesn't it hurt anymore?_ Catelyn wondered as all sound became muffled and her vision cloudy. She lifted her hand feebly and felt the liquid that was running red down her arms like a ruby glove. Sansa and Arya were screaming the word 'push' as they had been for the last half hour, they had given up on modesty and embarrassment when they'd realised what they'd need to do as Catelyn's 'midwives'.

Her eyelids suddenly felt very heavy and started to close, but before they could completely a familiar hand started to shake her shoulders. "Mother!" The matching voice cried. "Don't close your eyes, your babe is nearly here! Please, Mother, don't close your eyes...Please!" Sansa shook her shoulder so violently Catelyn thought her head might just topple off and roll away.

"What's happening?" Arya asked, crawling over to the other side of Catelyn's head.

"She's...she's..." Sansa began to sob. "She's not going to...fading...she's fading..."

"No she's not." Arya replied firmly, vigorously shaking Catelyn's shoulder as Sansa had before. "Don't close your eyes Mother, don't you do it!" She spat between Catelyn's mouth and nose. "Shout at me Mother, yell and scream, just don't close your eyes!"

Sansa rushed back to where the babe was coming and caught it as it left its Mother's womb. "Arya..." Catelyn gulped, lifted her bloodied hand slightly and running it through her dark boyish hair weakly. "Sansa..." Catelyn felt her eyelids completely shut and her head start to feel ever so heavy. A babe's cry pierced the air, and Catelyn's lips curved upwards slightly. "Gerion..." Her arms went limp and her skin felt cold in that moment. "Mother!" Arya cried again, shaking her. Sansa cut the cord and tried to calm her brother, rocking him gently but sobbing at the sight of her Mother's limp body.

"It's a boy." Sansa wept.

"I don't fucking care about it!" Arya hissed, pulling Catelyn's body into a hug and burying her face in her copper locks. "She'll wake up any second now, you'll see. She'd just tired. I know it." This was the first time Sansa had ever see Arya cry. Perhaps if it had been in any other situation, she would have laughed and said something like 'ha, my little sister does have emotions after all.'

But her Mother was dead.

Gerion was alive, crying and kicking, and Catelyn was gone.

Arya screamed suddenly, burying her face into Catelyn's hair further and clenching her hands. Sansa just looked at her little brother. She felt no love for this little person, no kindness or joy, only hatred for what he had caused.

"YOU KILLED MY MOTHER!" Sansa screamed at him, which only made him cry harder. "SHE'S GONE AND IT'S BECAUSE OF YOU, YOU LITTLE LANNISTER SHIT!"

* * *

 **Sorry this took so long...I have no excuse...  
This is also based off a 14 year olds knowledge of childbirth, so please excuse me if any of this is really unrealistic. And if it's kinda short.**

 **Dw if you wanted more fanfic, because I ain't done yet. I'd love to hear what you think will happen next!**

 **Emma xx**


	12. Streams

"YOU KILLED MY MOTHER!" Sansa screamed at him, which only made him cry harder. "SHE'S GONE AND IT'S BECAUSE OF YOU, YOU LITTLE LANNISTER SHIT!"

Arya laid Catelyn's body back down on the ground gently and rested her head on her stomach, letting her silent tears soak into the bloodstained material of her gown. Arya jolted upright as she felt something move underneath her head. "Sansa!" She cried. "Sansa...I think...there's something...there's something in her belly..."

Sansa gasped, thrusting a settling Gerion into Arya's arms and putting her hand on her Mother's stomach. "It's twins." She muttered to herself, but her voice was cracking as she continued to cry. "Do you think it's...dead?"

"I don't know." Arya looked at Gerion in her arms properly for the first time. He had a little bit of fuzzy hair on the top of his head, it was golden like any Lannister's hair should be. His eyes were a dark green with specks of gold shining as he looked up at Arya. He stopped crying and rested his head in her arms, closing his eyes and drifting into a soft slumber. Arya probably would have loved her new Lannister brother if she didn't feel so angry at him. "But it might not be dead. We need to...to get it out."

"How?" Sansa sobbed, clenching her hands. "It's not like Mother can push anymore. Oh, I wish there was a master here or something..."

"Bring me my sword, Sansa." Arya said bravely and Sansa's eyes widened, more tears spilling from them.

"Arya, you can't!" Sansa's hands went to her face to wipe her eyes, but she just ended up smearing blood over her cheeks. "No, no, I won't let you."

"It's what Mother would have wanted!" Arya almost screamed it, but then realised that her brother was sleeping in her arms and restrained herself. "She would have given her life for any of us, Lannister or not, and she would want us to save her babe no matter what it took. Her life is gone now...but this babe could still have one. You may not like it, I don't either, but you _know_ it's what she would have wanted, Sansa."

Sansa sobbed again but finally nodded and hurried off inside the little house, where Arya had left needle. When she came back Arya handed Gerion to her sister and held her breath for a few seconds. After ripping the dress open as carefully as she could and revealing her Mother's pale swollen stomach, Arya truly tried to mentally prepare herself for what she had to do. _Has any maester done this before, is it even possible?_ Arya looked up at Sansa, receiving a tearful nod, and began to cut deep into Catelyn's lifeless flesh.

* * *

 _Everything was all so dark._

 _All Catelyn could think about was the little muffled cried that she'd heard as her body had turned into numb pile of flesh and bone that once had been one of the greatest beauties in Westeros. If only she'd been able to tell them before...there was another babe, she had felt it right at the end. That had been why she'd been so much bigger than before, she had realised, why the kicking had been so much more frequent than with the any of the others. Two babes, another set of golden twins._

 _Everyone always described death to her as something peaceful, a final rest. Last time it had been full of torment, screams and cries and pain and blood, wriggling and writhing in mental pain. Robb looking up at her with his Tully eyes, his auburn curls messy and unkempt as they always were. Maybe it had been peaceful for Robb, as everyone had once told Catelyn If it was truly supposed an eternal peace, why did Catelyn feel like she was being ripped apart?_

 _She couldn't see anything, it was pitch black. Her body was frozen still, but she could fell two hands gripped around her arms. The hand to her left was cold and it's nails were sharp, the one on her right was warm and comforting. The right was pulling her down, deeper into the darkness, the true final rest that everyone had told Catelyn about in her miserable life. The other was cold claw, it was beginning to seen much stronger, slowly pulling further and further up..._

 _But did she want to go up? Wouldn't it be easier just to let go, tumble down into the warmth and peace, to forget her life and rest in her death?_

 _The hand pulling her down released it's grip and her whole body went cold, but felt somewhat more real. Catelyn could moved her arms and legs, her head and fingers and toes. No matter how much struggled, she was still being pulled up and up. In the distance she could see a tiny speck of light glowing against the darkness. It hurt Catelyn's eyes to look at it even though it was so small. But it was no longer her eyes that she paid attention to once she started to hear things. Voices, familiar voices..._

 _'It's a little girl, Lady Minisa!' A deep tone was saying as a baby's first cries filled the darkness. Catelyn had often wondered what she was like herself as a babe, if she had been a nightmare like Robb or Arya or Rickon, or more peaceful like Jon Snow had been. Her Father had always said that she had been an angel in comparison to her younger siblings. Catelyn only wished she could see the picture of what was happening along with the noise, she could see her life before her eyes. Was she always going to end up in this place, this limbo between life and death at that age? Had her future always been set out for her, or had she written it for herself?_

 _She heard more voices after that, the high chirp of her little sister, the moody groan of Littlefinger and the soft gurgles of Edmure as a babe. Her parents, her Uncle Brynden, Brandon Stark, Edmure's full sentances, Jon Arryn and then...Ned._

 _Catelyn had never thought to hear Ned's voice again. A flower of joy blossomed in her heart as his kind words swirled around her mind, his formal and awkward introduction, they way she had blushed when he kissed her hand for the first time. At the time she had been so hung up on Brandon Stark that she had thought everything was over, her one chance at love had been killed by Aerys's mad reign. Yes, she had been a little disappointed when laying her eyes on Eddard Stark for the first time, but had soon become ever so intrigued by him. What was under all the walls he had built around his heart? Could she take them away, brick by brick, could she get to know the perfect husband she'd always dreamed of through him?_

 _She heard Robb's voice after, his clumsy words tripping over each other as he tried to speak in full sentences for the first time. Catelyn still remember the day he had said his first words, she had just had an enourmous fight with next about the bastard and had gone crying to the nursery to try and find comfort in her son, ignoring the fact that he shared a room with his baseborn brother. 'Mumma!' he had said when she had taken him from his crib, his rosy cheeks chubby and his teeth almost completely there._

 _'Mumma!' had also been Jon Snow's first words, a few months later. At first she thought it was Robb calling her name, but soon realised that it was in fact her husband's bastard. Catelyn still remembered when the boy had called her his Mother happily, looking at her with a smile and clapping his little chubby hands. Perhaps angry was the wrong word Catelyn had felt. She had felt more guilty, guilty that this little boy saw her as his mother and she wanted to slap him for calling her that._

 _Though she would have never raised her hand to a child, bastard or not._

 _Then it was Sansa's voice, Arya's and Bran's and Rickon's, even Tywin's...the closer she got to the light the more voices seemed to drown each other out. Some she wanted to hear, some she did not, until she could no longer hear anything over all the noise. Catelyn clamped her hands over her ears to stop the noise._

 _And then there was only one. She stopped going up._

 _Ned._

 _And it wasn't just a voice_

 _'Listen my love.' He was saying. Catelyn could feel his arms around her, his lips brushing against hers, his hand in her hair, and she could see his smile. Tears filled her eyes and she pushed a passionate kiss to his lips_

 _'Ned...let's stay here forever...' She whispered into his ear as she pulled away._

 _'You can't.' That was the tone he had always used to scold the children when the misbehaved, and his smile was gone. Catelyn was not his child though, she didn't want a motivational speech about doing the right thing and helping the world to follow the right path. Making a difference. All she wanted, all she had wanted for what seemed like an eternity, was to hold Ned in her arms and feel him around her, inside her, as part of her. He had stolen the part of her heart, and that part had rotted in death and decay when he left her. 'You must return, for our children. And yours.'_

 _She felt a more tears on her cheek. 'I'm sorry my love...I never wanted another babe without you...I swear it...'_

 _'Be calm, Cat. I know why you did it, and I am not the slightest bit angry my love.' He wiped the tear away and gave her one last kiss, his smile returned. 'And know that this is not the last time we will speak.'_

 _'No. I'm not going.' Catelyn shook her head and gripped his arms tightly. 'I want to be here, with you, forever. Robb and Bran and Rickon will be here to, we can all be happy.'_

 _'Bran and Rickon?.' He looked confused. 'They are as living as Sansa and Arya are, Cat.' Ned added as calmly as ever. 'Now go.'_

 _Catelyn tried to hold on to him, but the warmth of his touch decentagrated in her hands and she was thrust up into the light, and now instead of the dark blindness she was given the burning, bright kind._

 _Oh, how it burned._

* * *

Sansa and Arya stood by the bank, each holding a baby. The second babe had been a girl, they had been worried she was dead at first because she didn't cry when they cut her free of her mother, only smiled up at them. Sansa had wanted to name her Catelyn immediately, but Arya said that no Lannister child should be named after a Tully. For now, Gerion's twin was nameless. But a name was the last thing on there mind.

They had washed all the blood of her, sown up the huge gash on her stomach and dressed her in the best dress they could find. Amorea had helped Sansa do her hair into a simple northern style adding little white flowers they had found growing by the trees, and they had taken the dagger she had loved so much from her luggage and placed it between her hands. After finding out about her death, Robin had been so devastated that he had cried for hours inconsolably, and Amorea and Chenai had cried too, even the Hound seemed saddened by it. Perhaps the only consolation was the baby girl had been born with an exact replica of her Tully-blue eyes. Not that it was much consolation at all, her little golden head of hair made her a Lannister to anyone that could see.

The Hound carried her body to a little stream they had found along their path. They laid her underneath the shallow waters on top of the pebbles where she seemed peaceful. The water was so shallow that it was crystal clear and they all knew that the current was strong enough to carry her downstream, but a child born a trout should be left in the water upon their death. Arya leant her head against her sister's shoulder, hearing Sansa's quiet sobs. Sansa hated to even look at Gerion ever since she had held him for that first time, so Arya had kept him as far away from her as possible. Arya understood that it was not his choice to kill her, even though he had caused it. Perhaps Sansa would forgive him with time, but it didn't seem so at the present.

Suddenly, the Hound got his sword and pointed it to a bush with his eyes narrowing. "What is it?" Arya asked.

"I saw something move in that bush." He replied taking a step forward cautiously. Then Arya saw something too, and held Gerion closer. It was strangely depressing to think that about 24 hours ago she'd have been pulling her sword out and promising to protect her Mother from anyone who'd try and hurt her, and now she was holding her little brother.

A clang of metal behind them shocked Arya and she turned around to see a man from a mountain clan, she could tell by his shaggy beard and big axe. When they had left the Eyrie, her Mother had told her about the time she had been attacked by a mountain clan on the way to Tyrion's trial. "Sansa, come with me!" Arya cried, running slightly up a hill and crouching behind a bush. She could see Robin hiding behind one of the guardsmen, but that wasn't what she was paying attention to. Arya almost laughed at the sight of her Mother lying underneath the water looking as beautiful as ever while the blood around her began to run deeper. Gerion looked like he was about to burst into tears, and that certainly wouldn't be good, so Arya tried to shush him and gently rocked her arms from side to side.

"Arya!" Sansa screamed as a man grabbed her arm from behind and pulled he to her feet. Needle was on Arya's waist so she pulled it out and tried to balance Gerion in one arm, stabbing it at the man's feet. Sansa was kicking and squirming the best she could without hurting her baby sister.

"Fucking hell!" The man groaned as Arya stabbed through his leather boots to his big toe, he threw Sansa down to the floor and glared at Arya. Gerion started screaming. Then he smiled. "Who's that woman?" He pointed to Catelyn's body but Arya didn't turn around.

"My Mother." Arya said with as much confidence as she could muster. There was only one woman he could have been talking about.

"She's dead." The man noted, stepping closer to Arya as she backed into the bush and held needle up in the direction of his throat.

"As dead as your going to be if you touch me or my sister again." Gerion began to cry even louder and the sound began to make Arya's head pound, but she kept her poise and focus.

"I'm gonna fuck you." The man said quite blatantly, inching closer and closer to Arya. "And then your gonna watch as a fuck your Mother's pretty little corpse bloody, you hear that?" The he laughed again. "My cock migjht just make her pretty little heart start beating again."

He grabbed Arya's arm and she bit him, he cursed her and smacked her across the cheek. The taste of blood filled her mouth and her cheek was burning. She tried to stab needle into his chest but he batted it away and the metal clanged on the floor. Arya closed her eyes as she could move no further back into the bush, his sour breath rushing into her nose and making her gag. Sansa screamed again. "Get the fuck away from her." A familiar voice was saying, before there was a loud thud on the ground. Arya opened her eyes to see the Hound standing over the man's body with a sword dripping blood. "Come with me." He commanded, kicking needle back to Arya and pulling Sansa back into the open space. He stabbed a man that ran up to them and tried to lead them away from the heart of the battle to somewhere moderately safer.

The air smelled of blood and rot, something Arya had gotten quite accustomed to over time. It didn't scare as it once had, just made her feel sick. As they got closer to a clear patch of trees, Arya froze. She looked back to the stream and started running towards it with Gerion still screaming in her arms. "Get back here girl, are you trying to kill yourself?" The Hound yelled, but Arya kept going.

"Arya!" Sansa screamed, but Arya kept runnong. She knelt down in the stream, her face covered in blood, and but kissed her Mother's body one last time. "Arya! Behind you!" Sansa's hand hands clamped over her mouth as a tribesman ran at full speed towards Arya with his axe held high. Without a word, Arya curled into a ball, shielding Gerion with her back and cried back to him.

"I'm so sorry, Mother." She whispered, kissing Gerion on the forehead and swaying from side to side to try and stop him crying. "You died for nothing, I can't even protecting myself."

"Don't be silly, Sweetling." Was all Arya heard before a knife went strait through the tribesman's heart.

* * *

Everyone froze. Every knight, tribesman and child froze so suddenly as Catelyn Stark stood up; hair soaked with water and burning like a fire in the sunlight. She smiled at Arya and took Gerion from her arms, his tears stopped as soon as she took him. "Stop it." She said firmly. "Stop the fighting, stop it all."

The first person to bow to her was a knight from the Vale, then a tribesman next to him fell to his knees. Slowly, more and more people fell to their knees until everyone was on the ground was facing Catelyn. Even Sansa and the Hound had bowed to her. "Queen of Ashes!" One man called out.

"Queen of Bones!"

"Queen of the Dead!" More were shouting. Catelyn gasped and looked down at her son, who was looking unhappy and hungry. She pulled Arya to her feet and wiped her face of blood. Then someone called out 'Queen of Rubies!'.

"Queen of Rubies! Queen of Rubies! Queen of Rubies! Queen of Rubies!" The chants became so loud that Catelyn could barely hear herself think. All these people, these wild tribesmen and knights had named her a Queen. Most of them didn't even know her name. Catelyn raised her hand up and the chants became silence.

"I am not a Queen." She said, looking down on all the astonished faces. "I am a mother, a sister, a wife and a daughter."

"You are not _a_ Queen!" One man from the back shouted. "You are _the_ Queen! You have been to the other side and returned stronger that ever, you are the only Queen that matters. We will follow you forever and wherever you go, let you lead us to the pits of hell or the gates of heaven. What is your name, fair Queen?"

Catelyn paused, brushed her hand over Gerion's head and looking over to Sansa who was leaning against the Hound to stop herself fainting. She then turned back to the man. "My name is Catelyn Tully Stark. I was raised in Riverrun, lived in Winterfell and broken in King's Landing. But I am no longer broken. If you are loyal to me, then you will protect my family, and I will always be kind to you and give you the best life I can within my power. If I am your Queen, then they are your princesses and princes." She pointed to her Sansa and her unnamed daughter, then Gerion and Sansa. "Yes, I have been to the afterlife. It was dark and cruel and cold, but did teach me one thing. You see, I had two young sons when I left my home, I thought them dead. Death had shown me those who are living, and if my sons still breathe air from their lungs I must find them. If I am your Queen, then serve me. Help me find my sons." A cheer went through the crowd and Sansa ran up to her Mother, embracing her with her left arm as the other held a little babe.

"This must be his twin?" Catelyn smiled quietly as she looked at the babe. "What did you name her?"

"We haven't, not yet." Sansa was crying properly now.

"We thought about Catelyn for you but...naming things is fucking hard." Arya joked, but tears were still forming in her eyes.

"She looks like a Jocelyn, it's a sweet name. I thought about naming one of you Jocelyn, but it never seemed to fit your faces." Catelyn took her daughter from Sansa and held her in her other arm. "Gerion and Jocelyn."

"Gerion and Jocelyn" Sansa repeated. "Or is it Prince Gerion and Princess Jocelyn now.? Am I Princess Sansa now?"

"Gerion and Jocelyn" Sansa repeated. "Or is it Prince Gerion and Princess Jocelyn now. Am I Princess Sansa now?"

"You already were a Princess, my sweet." Catelyn smiled. "Your brother Robb was King before, and you were a Princess of the North. You may not have felt like it in the lion's den, but you always were a princess of the North. And besides, you've always been a Princess to me. Both of you."

Arya frowned. "Is it true, what you said? About Bran and Rickon?"

"Yes, sweetling. I swear it on the old gods and the new. They're alive, I know it, I can feel it now."

"But Mother...you...you died." Sansa whispered. "How can you be...here? How can you know these things?"

"That's just it, my sweet." Catelyn smiled sadly. "I don't think I can die, not forever. I'm...immortal, like gods in stories, only I have the appearance of mortality. But we can discuss this another time, this is a moment for happiness, my little Princesses." Catelyn smiled as Gerion let out a little shout. "And you, my little prince."

Catelyn's family watched as the crowd standing around them shouted "The Queen of Rubies! The Queen of Rubies!"

* * *

It was like the Mountain tribes saw Catelyn as a goddess. She didn't want to be their Queen, nor did she want to be any Queen, she only wanted to be living back in Winterfell with Ned and all of her sweet babes. But even a Queen can't get everything she wants.

Gerion and Jocelyn had been so very hungry when Catelyn had held then for the first time, so she had let them suckle at her breasts until they fell asleep. One woman from the tribes, her name was Yetta, had tried to tell Catelyn that her milk was to holy and precious for a babe to drink and it could bring the dead back to life. Catelyn had thought that was a bit of a stretch of her abilities, so laughed and said that her babes would drink from her breast and no ones else's.

She wondered whether Tywin had gotten past the moon door, or if he had died trying. It was a good thing, she decided, that they had left when they did. And now she had about six hill tribes sworn to protect her, and more arriving to serve her everyday. Yetta had some of them men build Catelyn a tent from leather and wood, so that was where she sat with her children and Robin. Sansa and Arya sat beside her, Arya with her needle and Sansa with her bow. One of the young men from the Stone Crows, Aradin, had been teaching Sansa how to shoot better. Catelyn had thought she saw a little spark between them, but thought she'd leave them alone.

Despite being twins, Catelyn couldn't help but notice how different her two babes were. Gerion was loud and fussy, he could never keep still and cried at the slightest sound that was out of the ordinary. Jocelyn, however, hadn't cried once. It was scaring Catelyn a little bit, in truth, because _every_ babe cried when they needed something. But Jocelyn didn't, Arya had even told her that she came out smiling up at them. 'The peaceful Princess', Yetta had named her. Apparently Yetta was her new handmaid, not that Catelyn had maid that decision.

"Gracious Queen, please do me the honour of naming my child." One girl that was heavy with child said as she knelt before Catelyn. People had been lining up all day to shower Catelyn with praise and gifts, and her children had been given things, baby blankets and clothes, Arya had even been given a huge axe. She liked it.

Catelyn, who had been nursing Gerion when the woman walked in, passed him to Sansa and walked over to the woman. Taking her hand, Catelyn smiled at her. "What is your name, child?" She asked. The girl could not have been much older than Sansa.

"Isengryd, my Queen." The girl said.

"Well, Isengryd, can I tell you a story?" She nodded. "When I was a child my Father taught me a little Valyrian, which is a language people speak weeks and weeks away from here. He would always call me his 'Gevie Haedar', which means 'beautiful girl'. Every child is beautiful, so name your child something beautiful."

"Gevie Haedar." The woman smiled. "I shall call my child Gevie, in honour of my beautiful and kind Queen. You have my eternal thanks, my Queen."

After the woman left, Catelyn turned around to see Arya looking quite annoyed. "What?" She asked.

"Well, you _could_ have told her to name her child Arya!" Arya said, and Sansa starting laughing discretely.

"What if it was boy?" Catelyn sat back down, taking Gerion back into her arms. "Naming a boy Arya would be cruel, it would be like me calling you Hoster or something like that." She looked down her boy, and then across the tent to a crib where Jocelyn was asleep. The tribesmen had made it from an oak tree for her, working all night to carve all these beautiful patterns into it. "They are so beautiful, aren't they." She sighed.

"They take after you then, Mother." Sansa smiled as she leant her head on Catelyn's shoulder. "You're the most beautiful person in the world."

* * *

 **Aha that was a major plot twist. I had always planned for Catelyn to become a Queen, but as I wanted her to come back with a bang and this just kinda clicked in my mind. What do you think she'll do with her newfound army? Also, this isn't going to be a SandorxSansa thing if anyone saw something happening there.**


	13. Thieves

"What are we going to do now?" Sansa asked as they sat in Catelyn's tent that had been sealed off for the night to keep in the heat. Sansa, Arya, Robin, Gerion, Jocelyn and Catelyn always slept in the tent together every night. Yetta had said that it was important to give the royalty the nicest places to sleep, and the men didn't have enough animal skin to make a second tent for anyone else. The tribesmen were sleeping in shelters made from logs and twigs and leaves, it intrigued Catelyn that they had learnt to use such basic things to block out the rain. "I mean, do you want to go back to the Eyrie? We could definitely take Tywin now, if he hasn't already been defeated by the Arryn men."

Some of the women had made Catelyn clothes from skins, they said that her gowns were inappropriate for the mountains. It was very different from the kind of clothes Catelyn was used to wearing, there was a top that cut off a few centimetres under her breasts and exposed almost her whole stomach. It made her feel the childish sense of naughtiness. Ever since her resurrection, whatever had happened there, her stomach had gone back to being completely flat and the gash from Jocelyn's birth had vanished. Even the stretch marks from previous pregnancies had gone, her skin was as untouched as Gerion or Jocelyn's. According to Yetta, The Queen of Rubies was supposed to possess three gifts. At first she was supposed to have control over death and life, second she was an unimaginable beauty, and thirdly she had power all men. Catelyn wasn't sure that she was or could do anything on that list, but Yetta insisted it was true.

 _I am not an unimaginable beauty. To be true I've lured a few men to my bed, but I am not what they expect me to be._ _I just hope I won't lead thousands of innocent lives into the darkness._ Hundreds of men, women and children hurried to Catelyn's camp everyday. The Hound had informed her that her current count of men was at about 20,000, which was only 15,000 men less that Tywin's army, and that number was rising everyday. But what was she supposed to use that army for? "The only thing I want is my family, Sansa." Catelyn smiled at her.

"So we go North." Arya said, gently rocking Gerion as Catelyn fed his twin. "To find Bran and Rickon, that's where they are right?"

"We could try and take Winterfell, but they won't be there. Bran is a smart boy, he'd know not to stay in a place where he'd be so obvious." Catelyn bit her lip as Jocelyn pulled away from her teat, Catelyn kissed her on the forehead and rested her against her chest. "It is Rickon I worry most about." She looked down sadly. "He may not even remember me, the poor boy."

"He'll remember you, Mother." Sansa said sternly.

Catelyn nodded, but was unconvinced. "And then there's my uncle in Riverrun as well. Gods, this all such a mess." She set Jocelyn down in her crib and Arya put Gerion down next to her. "I'll talk to Clegane in the morning. He'll probably just tell me to kill them all, but mayhaps he'll say something helpful."

She settled the children down underneath some furs and then laid down herself in between Sansa and Arya. Normally she slept on the end because Gerion was a never slept through the night and she'd get up at least three times to calm him. Catelyn had never realised just how unsettled most babes slept, because back in Winterfell maester Luwin had always sorted the nights out for her. Jocelyn, on the other hand, still had never let out a single cry. Catelyn had taken her to every single healer from the tribes in panic for her health, weren't all babes supposed to cry? But they had all laughed and said that it was all prophesized. Apparently Jocelyn was the 'The Sapphire Princess', or 'The Peaceful Princess' and her purpose was to help Catelyn be calm and to stop her making rash decisions, to see things that others couldn't. In truth, Catelyn was sick of prophecies and just wanted some facts.

* * *

Tywin Lannister was running out of ideas. His army had been split in half on the first day of attack against the Bloody Gate, so he had called a retreat and taken a moment to think. This moment to think had taken more than a week now, and his army was starting to think him a fool. _Maybe I am a fool, I should have let the war of five kings be my last. I would have been better remembered for it._ "My Lord." A squire walked into his tent and bowed. He was carrying a scroll in his hands. "There was a rider in the night."

"Hand it here." Tywin instructed and took the scroll cautiously.

 _We've found her. She's a Queen now, we won't just be able to take her in the night. She certainly doesn't have a babe in the belly anymore, apparently she had twins but no one really sees them apart from the healers and her maidens. One is definitely a boy. We'll take the boy tonight, you'll have him in at least two moons._

 _Chella_

Ever since giving her weapons and gold, Chella daughter of Cheyk had been loyal to Tywin. He had instructed her to watch the mountains in case Catelyn was seen riding around there, though the results were far different from what he had expected. But what had happened to his 'wife' shouldn't matter to him. It was his son that mattered now, his heir was breathing and Tywin planned to take him back to Casterly Rock. If anything from that letter though, he was most surprised that Chella knew how to write.

Did his new son look like a Lannister, Tywin wondered, or did he have the burning auburn hair of his Mother? He hoped that his hair would golden like a lion and his eyes would be the signature green that Lannister's always had. _At least then he wouldn't remind me of her..._

Of course, he wasn't stupid; he didn't trust any savage from the mountain tribes. But how else was he supposed to get his son back? There might be two boys from what Chella said, but he just needed one. Only one would continue the legacy, one was necessary. He could go back for the other when the time was right. _At least now I have a legacy, Catelyn's or not, the Lannister's live on._

Despite everything, Tywin knew that deep down he still loved her. It disgusted him, but it was true. _Is this how Ned Stark felt when he left for King's Landing without her. No, probably not. At least he knew that she loved him._ There was something about Catelyn Stark, the way she walked, her hair that burned in the sun, those eyes that matched the colour of the rivers she grew up by. Tywin had felt something towards his first wife, Joanna, they had known each other since infancy and Tywin had always felt affection for her. Now, looking back, he wondered whether that was in fact love, or just most emotion he had ever felt for anyone. His feelings for Catelyn were stronger, they were goddamn resilient, they wouldn't go away no matter how much he tried to banish the thoughts.

Was this his punishment, Tywin often wondered.

An eternal chain of unrequited love.

* * *

"You're holding it wrong." Aradin said, rolling his eyes. He was the son of one of the tribes leader, they had either been Stone Crows or Burned Men, Catelyn was still trying to get to grips with it all. Ex leader now- according to Yetta they had all given up their titles to follow Catelyn. He was a slender boy, beardless unlike most of the tribesmen, with coal coloured locks and steely eyes. Aradin had taken over Sansa's training with a bow, Catelyn wasn't sure how she felt about it. Of course she was perfectly happy for him to teach her, but there were sparks between them that might be unhealthy. It wasn't that Catelyn was worried about having Sansa marry a Lord anymore, she just worried that he might be unfaithful to her when it came down to it. _It's too early to start worrying. Just be calm..._

"You've raised two decent daughters." The Hound muttered, he was standing beside Catelyn watching Sansa fire at a man made from straw. It was nice to see how much she'd improved since she'd fired that first arrow back in the Eyrie. "I haven't met any other little ladies quite like them."

"I'd hope so, they aren't ordinary little ladies." Catelyn smirked at him. "I had always cursed myself for not making Arya more like a Lady before, but I suppose it was genetic. The only reason I behaved myself at her age was because I had the crushing responsibility of being the Lady of Riverrun. Perhaps if my Mother had lived longer I wouldn't have behaved myself so, I would have learnt to fire a bow or swing a sword."

"Well, you can throw a knife pretty damn well." Clegane snorted and rested his hand on his sword.

"Thank you." Catelyn smiled at him, shivering a little. She was grateful for the clothes she had been given, but there was an awful amount of skin being exposed. _Perhaps that's the point._

The sun was beginning to set, so Catelyn went back to her tent and over to her babes crib. Both were sleeping peacefully, Gerion had his arms stuck up over his head and Jocelyn was all snuggled up like a little puppy. _I wish they could always be this peaceful._ Before long Arya walked into the tent, wiping her sweaty forehead and setting needle down on the floor by a sheath of arrows that belonged to Sansa. It had been her old one, _Aradin_ had made her a new one. "There's this boy who can _definitely_ use a sword." Arya sighed and collapsed down on the ground. "I still beat him though. He said he let me win because he didn't want to hurt royalty, I said he could stick it up his ass. I beat him fairly, he can't use my princess-ness as an excuse. What a little shit."

Catelyn laughed. "If your royalty, you probably shouldn't be speaking like that."

"You can talk." Arya smiled at her. "Yesterday you swore in front of everyone when Gerion peed on you. Mind you, it was hysterical. I can't imagine Queen Cersei having a babe doing that to her."

"Your brother was being very uncivil towards me." Catelyn put her hands on her hips, trying not to laugh as her daughter was. "I really don't give a shit about it anymore. There are more important things in life that language, and urine."

"Like Sansa and that boy?" Arya raised an eyebrow.

Catelyn sat down on the ground next to her and kissed Arya's forehead, but still sighed after. "We'll have this discussion if and when anything happens between them. Besides, your sister is smart enough to know not to fall for a boy's charms anymore. Not since..." She didn't need to finish that sentence; they both knew that Joffrey didn't need to be mentioned. Soon enough Robin came running into the tent with a story about how he'd been firing arrows and almost hit someone in the eye. Sansa came in last in a dreamy state, Catelyn knew better than to question it.

The past few months had been full of peaceful and dreamless sleeps, but this night would not be so kind to Catelyn.

* * *

The chair was iron and sharp and cold, her crown was gold and red. Catelyn sat upon the throne in her red dress, but instead of the people she hated being held in front of her people she loved were sitting by her. Arya was sitting directly to her left dressed in armour of black onyx, her face covered in an enormous scar. It reminded Catelyn a little of Tyrion's scar, but at least Arya's nose was still in tact. _Gods, what could hurt her so?_ She seemed much older, but needle still looked right in her hands as she stared at the ground.

Sansa saw sitting next to Arya in a gown of pale green silk, a tiara sat upon her auburn locks with Jade stones standing out. She held a flower, a beautiful pink orchid, and was looking down at the ground echoing Arya's action. Catelyn couldn't help but notice that Sansa seemed older too, her cheekbones slightly more noticeable and her form more womanly as far as Catelyn could see.

Turning her head, Catelyn could see Gerion sitting on her right, looking exactly as he had in her dreams before. He wore full armour in red, but it was much darker than Catelyn's dress and had black accents. His hair seemed like Jaime Lannister's when it had been long, Catelyn remembered. In one hand he held a longsword, and in the other he held his twin sisters gentle hand. It made her proud to see her son as someone who loved his family.

Jocelyn held nothing, but wore a thick black blindfold over her eyes. Her dress was the colour of sapphire and silver with a silver tiara resting on a bed of golden locks. _What's happening? Why are they all so much older, and why have I not aged a day? Is this what immortality feels like?_ "Mother." Jocelyn said, without turning her head. This was the first time Catelyn was hearing her voice, it was soft and sweet like a nightingale.

"Jocelyn." Catelyn heard herself reply. "What did you see?"

The golden haired girl frowned. "They're going to do it, the idea is beginning to stir in there minds as we speak." As the words left her lips, Gerion starting stamping his feet on the ground and let go of her hand.

"I won't let them!" He shouted angrily, it echoed around the throne room. "No, no, you've done nothing but good for them. It isn't fair!"

"Sit down, Sweetling. This was always going to happen, and it is not your fight. It is mine and mine alone." She turned to Sansa and Arya. "Go south today, take everything but do not come back here."

"I won't leave you." Arya was calm and collected.

Catelyn stood. "What is going to happen? Do you believe that I will die, because I do not. I cannot. You will leave, go somewhere safe, and I will hand myself in so my people don't have to. As a Queen it is my first duty to protect my people and I intend to do my duty."

"Family, duty, honour." Sansa was still staring at the ground as she spoke. "Have you forgotten the order that they come in? Oh, sorry. I forgot that a Queen doesn't abide by the same rules as her followers. And we are just your followers, nothing else."

"Stop it." Arya growled at her older sister. It was only then that Catelyn realised that there were two empty seat; one by Sansa and the other by Jocelyn. "Just shut up, you fucking idiot. Think about anyone by yourself for once. Or do you not know our Mother enough to realise that she wouldn't leave us unless she completely had to?"

"Are you questioning how much I love her? If anyone doesn't know her, it's you-"

"Don't fight." Catelyn looked at them warningly. That was when Sansa stood up, tears in her eyes, and ran into Catelyn's arms. Even though it was a dream, it made Catelyn's heart swell to feel her daughter in her arms as she once had when she was a babe.

" _Please..."_ Sansa sobbed. She moved her hand to her stomach and looked into Catelyn's eyes with the same blue irises. "I want him to know his grandmother...please..."

Jocelyn stood, blindfold still on, and walked down to them. "There is a way...to save you. But I would have to go to him myself."

"No." Catelyn sighed, turning so that everyone in the room was looking at her. "No matter what happens, I want you all to know that I love you. You were all inside me once, you are all part of me. Knowing that you may live another day is enough to make me happy." She smiled at them. "And godammit, please none of you call your children Tygett. It's a horrendous name."

 _How do the dead win a war against someone who cannot die?_

* * *

Catelyn woke to the feeling of being shaken by the shoulders. "Mother!" Arya was saying with an extreme sense of urgency. "Wake up, please, wake up!"

With a sigh Catelyn heaved herself into a sitting position and gently rubbed her right eye. It was early morning; the little light in the tent made it difficult to see anything beyond the basic shapes of objects. Yetta had tried to make it so that all the light was blocked out in the tent by the furs, because apparently that was what made babies sleep through the night. "What is it, Sweetling?"

Arya started to breath more heavily in a panic. "Well...Gerion was crying and I woke up and I...it's Jocelyn she's...she isn't there!"

With that Catelyn shot to her feet and ran out of the tent, looking around desperately but her head spun around her. It was all quiet. She stumbled backwards with her hand on her head, trying not to cry. "JOCELYN!" She screamed. "JOCELYN!" Her legs began to fail her and she fell down to the ground. "My Princess, my baby, my baby, little Sweetling...Jocelyn...Jocelyn...come back to me...come back...back...back..." She began to sob into her hands and pulled herself back to her feet. Arya had run out behind her and put a hand on Catelyn's shoulder.

"Don't worry, we'll find her." Arya tried to comfort her, but her words lacked conviction. People began waking up and stepping up to Catelyn, Yetta running up to her with a piece of cloth to wipe her eyes.

"My Queen, whatever is a matter?"

Her head started to pang again and her eyes felt like waterfalls. "I'm...I'm" She tried to choke the words out. "I'm not a Queen..." Her legs started moving before her head could catch up with them, she didn't know where she was going, just away, away, away.

Men were calling the name of a Queen from behind her, but Catelyn wasn't a Queen in her own head, so she ignored them. _Jocelyn, Jocelyn, oh gods, Jocelyn where are you?_ The trees became denser around her as she outran the tribesmen, her legs kept running faster and faster, jumping over rocks and cruising past cliffs like it was the kingsroad.

"Shit!"

"What?"

"It's a fucking girl!"

"What do you mean?"

"What do you think I mean? We picked up the wrong bloody baby." As soon as Catelyn heard voices she stopped running and panted quietly behind a large pine tree. She slowly crept up on two men who were horsed and holding a naked babe between them. "It ain't got a cock. It's a girl."

"Let me see." The man on the right snatched the babe and examined its private parts, the child just smiled up at them. _Jocelyn?_ Cat couldn't help think. _That's Jocelyn, oh gods, I need to get her!_

Catelyn ruffed up her hair and tried to rip her top a bit, if they had stolen Jocelyn they would probably know from appearance she was a pampered queen not a run down whore. She needed to look the part of a lost little whore, she needed to get to Jocelyn. Unfortunately, she ripped the top all the way down the pack so ended up just having to hold it over her chest. "Kind sir's!" She called, jumping down onto the path. "Can you please help me, I am ever so lost and my top is broken...I only need to get to an inn or something."

The man on the left grinned. "You know, I ain't seen any girl quite like you in all my time."

"Sorry, we can't help you." The man on the right said harshly, and turned back to his companion.

"Oh, _come on_ Deric!" The man on the left sighed. "Look, I'll take all the blame for it being a girl if we take her." Then he winked at Catelyn. "She's exactly my type, and she'd be handing herself over free if we help her. She'd be bloody expensive anywhere else, and you know it." The man on the right grunted and thrust Jocelyn back into the man on the left's arms, riding away. The man licked his lips. "Now, I'll let you up on the horse if you drop that little top."

 _Make it convincing. You need to get her back._ Catelyn smiled up at him the best she could and pulled away the fabric covering her chest, walking up to the horse and giving it a stroke. "Let me up on the horse, and maybe I'll take the bottom off too." She said seductively.

"I'd like that very much." He licked his lips again and pulled her up, she was in front of him so he put Jocelyn in her lap while he took the reins.

"Might I ask, why'd do you have a babe with you?" _Great, what do I do now? I don't have a knife, I can't just jump of the horse with Jocelyn...he has a longsword..._

"That isn't your concern, love." He whispered in her ear, his hand leaving the reins and coming over to rest of her bare chest. "A pretty thing like you must have a name."

Catelyn paused for a moment. "Visenya." She thought of her horse. "My parents wanted me to be a fighter like the dragon queen."

"I'm Kellren." His hand was slowly going further and further down her body. Catelyn gulped. "I bet you are a fighter..."

"That, I am." _Stay in character until you have a chance to escape._ She kissed his neck softly, turning to face him. "You know, I was married before. Twice, actually. You're lucky to catch me when my husband isn't around."

"Oh?" He looked more amused than annoyed. "What's he like?"

"He's a big man, with a big cock." Catelyn said pulling away. Kellren's eyes widened, and she laughed. Catelyn grabbed the reins of the horse and tugged them firmly so that the horse stopped, Catelyn turned around to kiss him properly. "Let's get down, we can have some fun in the woods."

"I don't know...Deric won't like me stopping off, we're supposed to be somewhere by the end of the day."

"Well..." Catelyn took one hand off Jocelyn and ran it along his jaw, biting her lip alluringly. "I can't promise we'll be quick..."

His eyes widened even further. "Get down. Now." She laughed again as he helped her onto the ground with Jocelyn still in her arms and ran into the trees with her, he tied the horse to a tree and started to follow her. "Visenya!" He called after her playfully, laughing. "Where'd you go? We don't have time for hide and seek..."

Catelyn was crouched behind a bush with Jocelyn against her bare chest, gripping a rock tightly in her palm. "I love you." She whispered to her daughter, rocking her gently. "I do everything I do because I love you." She set her babe down behind the bush carefully and stepped out into view with the rock hidden behind her back.

"There you are." He muttered, coming up to her and kissing her with a mouthful of lust.

The rock swung through the air and hit him on the back of the head, he collapsed and for the first time Catelyn heard Jocelyn cry. "Don't cry baby!" She picked her up and held her close. "Don't cry, Sweetling. It's over, your safe, your safe." Catelyn climbed down to the road and untied the horse, climbing atop it with her daughter against her heart and riding back to her other children. _I'll kill anyone involved with this...I'll drown them, stab them, burn them and rip their bloody heads off._


	14. Prayers

In moments of stress, Catelyn used to sing in the sept at Riverrun with her sister, and then the sept at Winterfell that Ned had built for her with Sansa as she grew older. Before Ned had left Winterfell for King's Landing, she had always found that singing helped her to be calm and felt the gods could always help her feel better. It had never been the gods who made her feel better in those moments of stress, Catelyn now realised. It had always was Ned, at least at Winterfell. At Riverrun it was her Father who could always make her laugh and calm down, or her Uncle Brynden.

Nowadays she tended to lean more towards the knife throwing in times of stress, normally at trees or targets and the occasional fruit. Jocelyn's abduction, however, was not a time for targets and trees, and no matter how many times her knife landed in the horrid man's leg it could not calm her down. She didn't want to kill him, she wanted to make him properly suffer and she was still deliberating how to make this man pay for taking her precious baby girl. Her tribe people had found her in the woods holding Jocelyn a few hours later trying desperately not to cry, it had been so terrifying for her. Aradin (Sansa's boy friend that wasn't her boyfriend) had hauled Jocelyn's abductor back to their camp, but despite about three days of tracking the other one had well and truly evaded them. Catelyn had worried for a split second that she'd killed him, she wanted to know exactly why he would touch her child and then punish him for it, but he'd groaned on their way back to camp which confirmed it.

Monarchy established laws, Catelyn knew, but she had been struggling to do so without people to advise her and to help her. She'd never ruled anything her her life unless you counted Winterfell's household, and then Ned was still above her. Of course, she knew she had to show her authority. Treason was death, she had decided already, but did this man deserve a trial? The sort of trials Lannister's used were pointless, Catelyn didn't want that. She wanted truth and fair punishment.

Trial by combat was banned, she had already decided, she had learnt her lesson about that with Tyrion. But how would her tribesmen understand a trial otherwise, since they'd likely never been to one before."Just kill him without trial, I say." Arya said while chewing on some sourleaf. She'd tried to fight a full grown man that morning, and it had resulted in quite a bag gash in her leg that had already been stitched up. The poor man had been so terrified when he realised he'd just hurt the princess, gods, Catelyn had to reassure him that it was Arya's stupidity and not his fault at all. "I mean, it's not like he can deny he took her, we don't any proof or anything. It _was_ him, and he needs to die."

"My thoughts were similar at first, I admit. I can't just kill him, Arya. Not yet." Catelyn sighed, Gerion was asleep in the cradle and she was feeding a very hungry Jocelyn. "He needs to have a chance to explain himself, and then maybe we can find out where his friend went."

"But you are going to kill him, right? I mean, he tried to take Jocelyn...he can't just be allowed to walk away."

"Yes...he will die." Catelyn muttered, suddenly realising something. _Before I took her back, the two men were arguing about Jocelyn being a girl. They didn't want Jocelyn...they got the wrong babe, they wanted Gerion!_ Who would want Gerion more than anyone else? Who would need Gerion? And then it all became clear. "Tywin. It was Tywin, I know it now, it was him."

"How? He probably died at the bloody gate. There is no way he won that battle, the knights of the Vale have never been defeated in all the thousands of years they've been there." Arya was surprisingly chilled out considering that her leg had just been practically sawed open, though she was reclined on furs with a cup of ale rested in her lap so she didn't really have too much reason to be overly stressed. Catelyn had told her not to drink ale so many times she could not remember the number, but it had gotten to the point where Arya was going to do so no matter what she said so there was no point.

"Never assume someone is dead until you see the body, Arya." Catelyn had learned her lesson on that front, she had been so sure Bran and Rickon were gone and before finding out the truth. She would not make that mistake again, it would save her a lot of pain. Jocelyn let go of her teat so Catelyn started to rock her gently- it always helped the princess sleep. Besides, Catelyn loved to watch Jocelyn gently drift off in her arms, it always made her smile.

"I assumed you were dead, and I saw the body. Maybe Tywin Lannister's got magical powers like you or something."

"Maybe you should be quiet." Catelyn turned to Arya who just shrugged and sipped her ale. "Arya, do you know how far away we are from Heart's Home?" An idea sparked in Catelyn's mind.

"I think I heard the Hound say that we're a day away if we actually march there, we've been getting closer slowly over the past few weeks." Catelyn walked over to the crib and set Jocelyn down in it next to her brother. She couldn't help but love the way her twins looked so peaceful together in the cradle like that.

She sighed. "We march tomorrow, and order two hundred ships to be made. Most of my people will stay to make sure it is done well, while I will sail to Bear Island with you, Sansa, Gerion, Jocelyn, Robin and a selection of guards." She turned back to face Arya, who seemed both shocked and impressed at the same time. "If I'm going to find Bran and Rickon, I need allies in the North. And I have to start somewhere. I know Lady Mormont, we were friends for a time."

"So that's what you've decided then, we're finding Bran and Rickon?" Arya asked.

Catelyn frowned. "Well yes, partially. I love them more that you can imagine and they are everything to me, but I want to protect the tribes people as well. As soon as the Lannister's find out what had happened they will fight us, and even though now their numbers are threatened, they will rise again. I want to be ready for when that day comes, I need to be ready, and take advantage of the time I have before that happens." Then she smiled at her middle daughter. "And it's time that the Stark's took back the North."

* * *

"200 ships?" The man looked appalled. "And how in all the seven hells are you going to pay for that?"

"I already have." Catelyn smiled at the man. He was quite thick in shoulder and even thicker in waist, he had at least three chins, and yet prominent cheekbones. Catelyn didn't quite understand how that was possible. "I have given your life. I have almost 30,000 men, women and children with me, each one could smash your head in more quickly that you could flip a coin. The 200 ships will take there time to be made, I understand that, so for now could you just give me one galley?"

He gulped. "Uh, yes my lady." Catelyn then realised that he was too craven to protest.

"She is not your Lady." Sansa snapped at him. "She is your Queen. Queen Catelyn of the Ashes." Yetta had named Catelyn officially Queen of the Ashes because Catelyn hated the name 'Queen if Rubies'. It reminded her of one of those horrid dreams she'd had long ago. Not that Queen of the Ashes was much better, she would have rather been simply Queen Catelyn, but Yetta would not hear of it.

"Yes, my Queen." The man corrected himself and then walked quickly over to a ship that was called _Falcon's Flight,_ presumably for house Arryn. He was walking so quickly that Catelyn thought he might topple over. The man would have probably given them the ship anyway in the knowledge that Robin the Lord of House Arryn, but Catelyn didn't want them knowing who he was. In truth, it was difficult to tell that Robin was in fact Robin at the present, because ever since his Mother's passing he'd become much healthier and hadn't shaken in well over three moons now. Everyone knew Robert Arryn as a sickly child, but he was no longer, and some people may not have believed it.

"Aunt Cat, can you name one of your new ships after me?" Robin asked excitedly as he wandered close to the water. He'd never seen the sea before, never been on a boat or paddled in the water as a child. Catelyn had assumed that he'd be terrified of it, but he seemed rather taken with it.

"Of course I will." Catelyn kissed him on the top of his head softly. "I'll name one for all of you, Gerion and Jocelyn too." She also wanted name some for the other people she loved, Lysa and Hoster, Minisa and Edmure. She'd probably end up calling some after Bran, Rickon, Robb and Ned, but she was finding it difficult to speak Robb and Ned's names aloud. It was still too painful.

A pair of men came off _Falcon's Flight_ and stepped up to Catelyn with unimpressed looks on their faces. "Gentlemen." Catelyn nodded to them.

"You're the one who wants out ship?" One man laughed, running a hand through his greasy black hair. _Perhaps I don't intimidate him because he can't see my army._ "Let me fuck you, and then I'll see if I have a space on the deck where you can sleep."

"Don't talk to my Mother like that." Arya growled, taking out needle and pointing at his heart. Catelyn laughed.

"Calm yourself, child. Of course, he didn't mean that, did you?"

His confidence was not swayed. _Is it a good thing he isn't as craven as the other man or not? I suppose it matters not._ "No I did mean it, sweetheart." He licked his rotting teeth and Sansa wretched. "How 'bout you slip out of that gown and we have a quick one behind the trees, yeah?" Catelyn's laughter stopped all of a sudden.

"Shagga, Kolf, Regan!" She called and the three enormous tribesmen walked out from the forest they had been previously been waiting in. "Take then blacked haired man and throw him with the other prisoner. I don't want him speaking his filthy words in front of my children any longer."

Catelyn's men all smiled at her and hauled him into the forest with screams, his companion turned a ghostly shade of white. "The ship is yours...just please, don't hurt me..." he whimpered and started to run away. _He's a craven too, I see._

"I suppose I'll have to find a new captain then." Catelyn muttered to herself as she went back into the forest to find Yetta, who was watching Gerion and Jocelyn as they slept. They were always peaceful (excluding the times when Gerion was hungry; the boy could be calmed by nothing but his Mother's milk at those times, and he had woken the whole camp with his cries), Catelyn could only wish that they remained peaceful and happy forever. Though she had wished the same for Robb many years ago, and that had not turned how she had planned at all.

The ship itself was quite small, but enough to hold about 20 people alongside a crew, but that was what Catelyn needed. She had chosen a small group of men to come with her, with Yetta too, that would accompany her to Bear Island to meet with Maege Mormont.

Despite not having seen her for many moons now, Catelyn had fond memories of Maege Mormont and her sadly departed daughter Dacey. All of Robb's bannermen had hated Catelyn for releasing the Kingslayer, not one had understood why apart from Maege. They had become friends after that, and even though Catelyn had often wondered who the mysterious father was to Maege's daughters, she always did her best to help her.

 _I'm sorry I couldn't help Dacey,_ Catelyn thought sadly. _I o_ _nly hope you can help me now._

* * *

A childhood spent on rivers and streams meant that Catelyn never had any issues with sea sickness or malaise, but since Sansa and Arya had grown up in the North they were having more problems with it. In Catelyn's opinion the sea wasn't particularly rough, but she supposed it was extremely rough for someone who'd only been on a boat once or not at all.

Arya had been retching a lot for the first few days, but before long she was running across the ship and sticking her head over the edge to try and see the fish that lived underneath the waves. Sansa, on the other hand, had barely left her cabin at all in the two weeks they'd been sailing, the poor girl reeked of vomit and was having a truly miserable time. Catelyn made a mental note to not take Sansa on a boat again if it could be avoided, but they would have to anyway to leave Bear Island.

One thing that had truly surprised Catelyn was Robin. She had expected him to be very sick throughout the whole trip, considering that he had always been a sickly boy even though his health had improved significantly. However, Robin was enjoying himself a tremendous amount, he helped the captain and learned about the crew and oarsmen, he pulled up sails and even once tried to jump in the water. It hadn't been successful, Catelyn had caught the back of his shirt just in time to haul him back up. When their life was less hectic, Catelyn wanted to teach Robin, Sansa, Arya and the babes how to swim, because they had never had a chance to learn how in Winterfell, and she was certain Lysa had never taught her son how.

"You may not see it so, but you've turned into one of the most powerful people in Westeros." The Hound said to her and they got closer to Bear Island. "You have almost 30,000 tribesmen prepared to die for you, the knights of the Vale are your men, and you have a ton friends in the North. And now you've got an heir to, for yourself, and leverage on the Lannister's. Bloody hell woman. If you find your other two sons you'll have three heirs."

Catelyn laughed. "Gerion is not my heir, if I even have one. I don't need one, my houses are Stark and Tully, both have lords at the moment. Bran is alive, which means that he is the Lord of Winterfell, and Edmure is Lord Tully even if my uncle holds Riverrun."

"But you're a Queen now and all." The Hound said. "You're gonna die someday and then someone's gonna take over your throne for you."

"Well, then I suppose that would be Sansa." _It should have been Robb_ "I don't see why Bran or Rickon or Gerion should get priority just because they were born with a cock between their legs." Clegane laughed at that. "Besides, I don't think I'll be dying anytime soon." _I don't think I'll be dying at all._

"That's what they all say." The Hound muttered.

"Aunt Cat, Aunt Cat!" Robin cried as he ran across the deck to where The Hound and Catelyn were standing. "We can see it, we can see land! I saw trees and rocks! Trees and rocks, can you believe it!"

Catelyn smiled at him, she'd never heard anyone ever get so excited about trees and rocks. "Sansa'll be happy." He laughed at that, jumping back up and down and running back over to the captain. It was so sweet to see how much Robin had changed, from a sickly little child to a happy, bubbly little boy.

Before long any mist had moved and the land was very visible. Catelyn had changed back into one of her old gowns, a blue one with a gold trim which made her feel like a proud Tully. The Vale wasn't a particularly warm place, but the clothes Yetta had given her were still suited, this far North, however, Catelyn didn't want any of her skin showing if she could help it.

Maege Mormont had many daughters, Catelyn knew, but she had only met Dacey before she passed. Even so, Maege had told her a great deal about them, about how they all were learning to fight like there Mother. There were four left - Alysane, Lyra, Jorelle and Lyanna, the youngest being named for Ned's sister. Lyanna Stark had been a true winter rose, Catelyn had only seen her a few times at tourneys and had never spoken to her formally. Ned had loved her dearly, so she'd never said it out loud, but ever since Robert's rebellion Catelyn had disliked her. Of course, it seemed a little harsh considering they'd never properly met, but the feeling just stuck around. If Lyanna had been the headstrong, fierce northern girl everyone told her about, how did she allow herself to be captured by Rhaegar so easily? No fight was put up on her part, it almost seemed like she'd just run straight into Rhaegar's arms...

Dreams of princes and happy endings were childish now, everyone had to come to terms with that at some point, perhaps Lyanna Stark had never learnt that lesson. As it turned out, Robin had been far more excited at the prospect of one day commanding a fleet than marrying a princess. Catelyn had spent many hours planning out what they would call the ships. So far they'd come up with _Sweetrobin, Princess Sansa, Princess Arya, Prince Gerion, Princess Jocelyn, Lord Jon, Sweet Lady Lysa, High as Honour and Winter, Lord Hoster, Blackfish and Lady Minisa._ At the end of the day, it mattered not what the ships were called, but if it made Robin happy Catelyn was happy to name them with him.

 _I'll find you, my sweet boys,_ Catelyn swore to her northern sons, wherever they were hidden. She may have lost one of Ned's sons, but now only death could stop her finding Bran and Rickon. Not her death, obviously, she didn't even want to think about their own...

"Arya!" Catelyn called, walking away from Clegane and waving at her daughter that was chasing Robin across the deck. "Get your sister from her cabin and tell her that we'll be getting off very soon. I'll get your brother and Jocelyn." Arya nodded and dashed inside to fetch Sansa.

As expected, the water had meant that the babes threw up most of their milk and had lost a little weight, but Catelyn hoped it would not affect them so badly once they could take their milk properly again. Their sickness had resulted in a few ruined gowns on Catelyn's part, and Gerion had sprayed his water all over Arya's clothes too, but other than that they hadn't caused too many problems.

The shipped docked by a rocky beach, Catelyn clutched Gerion tightly as she stepped on Bear Island for the first time. It was extremely cold, she had furs wrapped tightly around her shoulders and Gerion was wrapped in so many cloths you couldn't really tell how far down material ended and his actual body began. It was sweet though, Catelyn's little lion cub all bundled up. They had done the same thing with Jocelyn, but Sansa was holding her sister.

"It feels more like home here." Arya muttered as she walked besides Catelyn. It was true; the northern temperature was harsh but strangely comforting. For the first decade Catelyn had resented the cold climate of the North, but afterwards it had grown on her to the point where she had come to prefer it to the heat she'd been so used to in the Riverlands.

"This is the North, where you belong." Catelyn told her daughter. The island itself was beautiful as far as Catelyn could see, there were forests rich with dark green trees, cliffs that towered over the shore in sharp curves. Along the beach there were several small wooden huts, Catelyn assumed this was where some of the smallfolk lived. "Arya, Robin, go knock on one of the little houses and ask if anyone could take us to Lady Mormont. And, be _polite_ please. No swearing."

"Yes Mother." Arya smiled, racing her cousin over to the hut. Sansa stepped up to her Mother and leant on Catelyn's shoulder.

"Are we going to go back to Winterfell?" She asked.

Catelyn sighed. "I hope so. The ironmen burnt it down, but you cannot burn stone so easily so I assume some of it is still standing. Builders and time could restore Winterfell I'm sure, but the real question is if we could take it. The Boltons rule there now, and Roose Bolton is not a man to be crossed easily. That man is a bloody bastard."

Sansa laughed. "I come to believe that most men are bloody bastards."

"You're probably right."

A plump old woman walked over to Catelyn, and to Catelyn's own surprise she had no trouble doing so. All women Catelyn had previously seen of an age with this one carried a stick to lean on, or stumbled along slowly, but this one seemed to be perfectly capable of walking on her own. _Is that because she's been trained like a man would have, or because she'd one of a kind I wonder._ She had wisps of brittle grey-white hair that fell thinly just above her shoulders, her cheeks were full and bottom lip far to large to match the top. The woman in front of Catelyn was not attractive, but the women on Bear Island were not known for being attractive. "You're Lady Stark?" The woman asked, Catelyn noticed how bloody red her teeth looked from what seemed to be sourleaf. At least, Catelyn hoped it was sourleaf. She didn't want to imagine what else it could have been.

"Aye." Catelyn nodded. "Do you know where I could find Lady Mormont, I have matters to discuss with her. We are old friends."

The woman glanced over at Catelyn's ship suspiciously. Her tribesmen were still aboard, drinking and probably trying to win Yetta over because she was the only woman left on the ship. _She cannot think I come to attack Bear Island, surely? I come alone except for my children, what sort of attacker would do that?_ "Why do you want to see her?" The woman said finally.

"I have two sons that I cannot find. Whether they hiding at Winterfell, the Wall or even here, I do not know, but I cannot find them without Lady Mormont's help. I am just a simple woman in search of her lost children, you see."

The woman snorted. "You seem to have enough children here, if you ask me."

"Well she didn't ask you." Sansa snapped, before gasping at her out of character forwardness. Arya started clapping.

Instead of getting angry as Catelyn feared she might, the woman simply laughed. "Follow me. The girl's got a tongue on her, she'd do well here."

* * *

It had all gone so perfectly.

House Mormont pledged itself to Catelyn's cause, partly because her talk had been convincing and partly because Dacey had died for a similar cause and they wouldn't let her death be for nothing. It was clear just how much Dacey was missed here, it saddened Catelyn to see it.

The chambers provided for her were cosy enough, candles burned brightly around her and there were more than enough bear skins to keep the cold off her skin. Just before going to her rooms, Maege Mormont had said something, something that Catelyn couldn't stop repeating in her mind.

 _"For Dacey, for Robb and for Eddard Stark."_

 _For Eddard Stark._ Catelyn had tortured herself so much about Robb's death, relived that moment in her mind countless times, but the grief of her son never gave her time to properly get over Ned. She'd never get over Robb, she knew that, he was her firstborn son and he would always have part of her heart, but _Ned..._

She'd seen Ned, after she'd given birth to Gerion, she saw him then, _felt_ him against her skin, heard his solemn yet kind voice. Oh, how she wished she could feel that again. If only there was a way...

 _There is a way._ Catelyn glanced over to her bed where she'd put Ammett's knife. It was a sharp blade, not Valyrian Steel by any means, but sharp all the same. The twins had just drifted off the sleep, Sansa, Arya and Robin were probably asleep themselves in there own chambers. _Ned, my love, Ned, Ned, Ned..._

Catelyn took the blade in her hands, watching the metal as is reflected light from the candles. The dragon bone dagger that had been sent to kill Bran had done the same thing in the light, Catelyn recalled, though she supposed all blades would. The catspaw wielding the Valyrian steel dagger had maimed her hands, she hadn't been able to move her fingers at all for a good week after and even then her hands were stiff and painful. Now her hands were as perfect and smooth as Jocelyn's were. _It's not right, It's not right, I should be dead and rotting like my dear, sweet Ned._

Ned would have known what to do in Catelyn's position. He had always been a master of staying calm and knowing the right thing to do, for that quality Catelyn envied him. _If only I could to him, ask him what to do, what would he say?_

 _You can talk to him,_ her mind was telling her, drawing her attention back to the knife. _You've already died twice, what's a third going to do? Know one will ever have to know, you'll probably be back before morning._ It wasn't suicide, not really. And if Catelyn didn't come back this time, she wouldn't mind so much...

 _No!_ Catelyn scolded herself. She had Sansa, Arya, Gerion and Jocelyn to take care of, not to mention Robin, Bran and Rickon. Dying permanently was not an option, yet still some part of Catelyn still craved death. She didn't care if it was just black and still as long as she didn't have to think anymore. Ned would have been able to help her. _Ned can still help me, I just need to find him._

Without another moment's thought, Catelyn made two smooth cuts along both her wrists, leaving herself in a state of shock. _Did I just do that?_ She wondered as her head started to feel light. At first it had been painless, probably due to the shock, but after a few moments the rubies gushing from Catelyn's wrists began hurt. Not a stinging pain, not like an ache or bruise, it was almost impossible to describe. For the third time, the corpse of Catelyn Tully Stark fell against the ground and lost it's life.

* * *

 _To Catelyn's unending joy, this time death threw her right into Ned's arms. She smiled at him and held his hands tightly, but he only frowned at her and shook his head. "Cat." He whispered softly. "What are you doing?"_

 _"I...I just wanted to see you, my love." Catelyn whispered back._

 _"You are reckless, Cat. You mustn't harm yourself again, promise me Cat. Promise me."_

 _"Do you not want to see me Ned?" Catelyn was shocked at his reaction. "Are you happier with me away from you, crumbling on earth without you. You were my everything._ Are _my everything."_ _She searched his face for any sign of remorse, and sign of sadness, but he just turned away from her._

 _He sighed and looked back. "You are the only woman I ever loved. It pains me to see you struggling so." He paused, running a hand through her long auburn hair, they hair he'd always loved. "But it pains me even more to see you hurt yourself like this. You need to take care of the children, our children, and take back the North."_

 _A tear ran down her cheek. "Come back with me. You can help me, together we will triumph...but I don't think I can do it by myself." She put her hand on his chest and kissed him gently on his lips. "I am not strong enough, I need someone to show me the way forward. You can help me, Ned. I beg you, come back with me."_

 _"I cannot. You know that as well as I." He wrapped his arms around her warmly as she wept gently into his chest. "Cat, my sweet Cat, you must power through like I know you can. When your purpose is fulfilled you may join me here forever, but it is not yet done."_

 _"What is my purpose, Ned?" Cat wept. "Tell me, I don't know, just tell me. Is it to take back the North? To raise the children well, just tell me Ned!"_

 _He sighed again, wiping her tears with his left thumb. "I cannot. The only person who can tell you what must face lives on the wall with his black brothers, and bears the name Snow."_

 _Then he was gone, but the word lingered._

 _Snow._

 _Snow_

 _Jon Snow._


	15. Reunions

"I made sure that you've got enough food to last until the Wall, and enough wine too." Maege winked and Catelyn laughed. It felt so good to laugh, though Catelyn did feel sad about leaving Maege so soon. Friends were things that Catelyn Tully Stark had a significant lack of.

"Thank you, for everything."

"You weren't even here for a full week, Catelyn. It was hardly any trouble at all." Maege smiled warmly. Maege Mormont had a very contagious smile, Catelyn had found, once she started smiling everyone just seemed so much happier. Catelyn wished she had "I would like to see those two sweet babes before you leave, though. Jocelyn and Gerion, you did well with those ones Cat. Sansa and Arya too, true and good children. Well done."

"As a your own daughters." Catelyn nodded. Perhaps once she would have offered a betrothal between Rickon or Bran with one of her daughters, to make sure they ended up with someone from honest means, but now she realised just how cruel and unjust marriage was in the life she was living. Why should parents force their children to marry someone they barely know? Looking back, Catelyn had been very lucky to end up with Ned, her caring, sweet and kind Ned, but people like Cersei Lannister and Lysa were not so fortunate. Her children could marry whomever they wanted, lowborn or highborn, though preferably someone Catelyn approved off. "All will be just as beautiful and fierce as their Mother."

Maege laughed. "Fierce for sure, I'm not sure about myself being beautiful though. Beautiful is more a gene of your family."

 _Is it vain to know myself beautiful?_ That was a question Catelyn had been asking herself for a long while now. She saw how men looked at her, there was always a woman Catelyn considered beautiful staring back at her the looking glass. Her waist was slim, her breasts not to large but not to small, hips wide enough that no one had ever worried about her in the childbed. Perhaps it was her originality that made her so attractive to men, the was her hair burnt a fiery red in the sunlight and her light freckles gave her a look of youthful innocence behind her stern blue gaze. "Mother, can Jorelle come with us to the Wall?" Arya ran out to the courtyard with Jorelle Mormont closely behind her. They'd become good friends in their short time together, the fought together and ate together, it made Catelyn happy to see Arya connecting with another girl her age. Even so, they could not take Jorelle with them.

"I'm sorry Sweetling, Jorelle must stay here with her family." Both younger girls frowned.

"Come on Jory, you'll see each other again I'm sure." Maege smiled, both girls grinned at that.

"Arya, get your things together, Jorelle can help you if she wishes. We're going to see Jon." At that, Arya's face lit up like a thousand candles. Despite knowing they were going to the Wall, Arya had always just assumed they wouldn't see Jon because of how much Catelyn had previously hated him. The very thought of her bastard brother was enough to make her seem so happy, it made Catelyn feel even more guilty.

"Yes Mother!" Arya practically squealed, running off Jorelle in a fit of giggles, similar to how Sansa and Jeyne Poole had when they'd lived in Winterfell. Little Lyanna Mormont came from inside and asked her Mother to help her with her axe, so Maege left Catelyn alone in the courtyard with a small apology.

With all her possessions put firmly in her boat, Catelyn went to the nursery to get her youngest two children. Sansa had groaned for hours about getting back on the sea, but with the assurance that the trip would be less than a day she reluctantly agreed to go without any more protest. "Did you sleep well, Sweetling?" Catelyn asked Gerion as he stirred gently next his sleeping sister. They had gotten so much bigger, Gerion could almost sit up for himself now and Catelyn was going to have to find larger clothing for both of them. Jocelyn was by far the smaller babe, though the maester on Bear Island said that was perfectly normal. Both were just as precious to Catelyn.

She kissed his forehead and he rested his head on her chest sleepily. _Gods, I hope I can find Bran and Rickon before too long. Have they thought of me, I wonder? In hatred and pain, I am the woman who abandoned them, who left them alone in Winterfell to fend for themselves. If we do find them, I pray they will be as forgiving as their Father would have been, not that deserve their forgiveness at all._

* * *

Arya snorted. "Do you think we could sell Jocelyn's hair and pretend it's gold?" Both Catelyn and Sansa started laughing at that, it took a second for Robin to understand the jape and then he joined in. "I mean, just look at it! Gerion's too, they look like little statues."

"They look like little Lannister's more like." Sansa muttered as she watched her younger sisters playing together, and simultaneously watching Gerion wriggle around on the floor. The little boy squealed and grabbed a stand of Sansa's long auburn hair, getting it all tangled in his tiny chubby hand. Catelyn watched her children, a warm feeling spread through her body and she only wished Ned and her boys could be with them. _Are you angry about Jocelyn and Gerion, my love?_ Despite being told he wasn't, she kept feeling somewhat guilty about it. Not about the children, about being with another man.

"I hope they don't turn out like the last pair of Lannister twins did." Arya sighed. Catelyn almost said that the last set of Lannister twins were Willem and Martyn Lannister, but held her tongue. "I mean, I guess it would be unlikely that they end up, you know, _being_ together." She faked a gag. "But I don't think they'll be all crazy and manipulative and cruel. Not with someone like you as a Mother." Arya smiled at her Mother and received a smile back, and a excited gurgle from Gerion.

There was a short silence. "What do you think that Wall is like?" Robin asked.

"Cold." Arya laughed. "Colder than Winterfell at least."

Robin groaned. "I didn't think it could get much colder."

Despite it snowing often in the Eyrie, Robin was still a Southron child. Even though he wasn't as weak and sickly as he had been, Catelyn often worried that he wouldn't be able to handle the cold in the North. She could still remember how hard it had been for herself to adapt to the harsh weather when she'd lived in Winterfell for the first few years, and even then she had hot springs and fires and the comforts of a castle. Robin just had a medium sized ship and a dozen furs. "Do you think we'll get to go beyond the Wall? Will Jon let us? Old Nan said there are giants beyond the Wall, and lots of direwolves."

"Jon will never let you go beyond the Wall, Arya. There are wildlings, it isn't safe for a small girl like you." Arya looked offended and the term 'small'. "Even if you can poke holes in them with your needle."

"Do you think Jon will let me at least fight the wildlings if they come to close to the Wall?"

Catelyn sighed. "If he does, he and I will be having words."

* * *

Walking up to Castle Black was like walking to a decaying fairy tale. Catelyn had been told all about the brave men of the Night's Watch defending the realm from the perilous white walkers, wildlings and such. The Castle she was looking at was breaking down, little more than a ruin. _Really? Is this really Castle Black?_ Truthfully, she was very underwhelmed.

After their ship had left Bear Island and gone back to the mainland, they had set off straight away for Castle Black. There wasn't really much else to be doing en route so they had covered as much land as they could each day, even if it meant they all had terrible sores from the saddles. It had snowed quite heavily on the third day of riding, and despite her best efforts to keep them warm Catelyn was worried that the twins could have caught a chill. "So, this is it." Arya said as they stopped outside the gates. "Castle Black."

"Castle Black." Robin repeated, his breath looking like smoke in the cold air. One of the tribesmen Catelyn had taken with her shot an arrow over the gate to try and get their attention; there were two posts by the gates that were unarmed. After about what felt like a moon of waiting, the gates finally creaked open.

"Who in all the seven hells are you?" A man asked, scratching his chin through his big brown beard.

"Lady Catelyn Stark, rightful Lady of Winterfell and Lady regent of the Vale-"

"And the Queen." Yetta added in quickly.

Catelyn sighed and then continued. "I come with Lady Sansa and Arya Stark, as well as two small babes, Gerion and Jocelyn Lannister. Pray, we seek shelter at Castle Black, and we have been riding for many days now. My babes are ill, I fear, and my men are in desperate need of a fire."

The man looked at the suspiciously. "I'm gonna close the gate. I'm not sendin' ya away, just need to talk to Lord Snow first." Catelyn thought about demanding to be let in momentarily but decided that it probably wouldn't be a great idea. She didn't want any more resentment between her and Jon Snow, there was enough as it was. And besides, she didn't want her children to think that being a Queen made them above other people. After all, when she died Sansa would become a Queen after her. _That is if I ever die..._

After about ten minutes Jon Snow appeared by the gates. He looked more mature that he had the last time Catelyn had seen him, his hair was longer and he had started to grow a beard. _He looks like Ned, gods._ "Jon!" Arya cried. "It's me, Arya! Can you please open the gate, it's getting bloody freezing just standing here." Jon laughed and signalled for the gates to be opened, it looked like the other men were having a hard time believing that she was really Lady Arya Stark.

Jon was standing on the other side of the gates when they opened fully, Arya ran straight to him and hugged him tightly. When she finally pulled away Jon cleared his throat and looked at Catelyn. "My Lady." He said very formally. "What brings you to Castle Black?"

"A lot of things." Catelyn paused, taking in what her stepson had become. She hadn't realised that he was Lord Commander of the Night's Watch, nor had she realised that it was possible for him to look more like Ned that he had when he'd left Winterfell. Catelyn clutched Jocelyn close to her chest when Gerion began to cry from where Sansa was holding him. "I would be happy to explain in great detail, but I fear the babes have caught a chill. Is there a maester here that could possibly take a look at them?"

"Of course, my Lady." Jon nodded. "Satin, take Lady Catelyn and her babes to maetser Aemon. I'll see that her party are given food and suitable chambers."

Catelyn took Gerion from Sansa and followed the boy towards the maester's chambers. "What brings you here, m'lady?" He asked.

"I'm looking for my sons." Catelyn replied. "Your lord commander's half brothers."

"Beg pardon m'lady, you're his stepmother?"

She nodded. "Though I haven't been the warmest mother to Jon, I admit." They stopped as Satin knocked on a door, the man who opened it was the most overweight Catelyn had seen since Lord Manderly last came to Winterfell.

"This is Lady Catelyn, Lord Commander's stepmother." Satin said. "She's been travelling for a while and is worried that her babes have gotten sick. The Lord Commander says that maester Aemon's to look at them."

The fat boy nodded and opened the door wider for Catelyn to come in. "I'm Sam...Samwell. Tarly."

"Catelyn Tully." Catelyn hated calling herself 'Catelyn Lannister', and wasn't really allowed to called herself a Stark anymore. Tully would have to do. The maester hobbled over to them from the window he'd been sitting by, his eyes cloudy and limbs frail with old age. She turned to the old maester. "Pray, could you please see if my children are ill? It's only that they've been on the cold for a while and I've done my best to keep them warm but..." She trailed off.

The man smiled. "There hasn't been a baby here in many years. I'd be happy to examine them, Sam will you put them on some furs?"

"Of course." Sam said and awkwardly tried to take Gerion from Catelyn's arms. It was quite clear that he hadn't had much experience with children himself, Catelyn suppressed a giggle.

They laid Gerion and Jocelyn next to each other on the furs. "What are they called?" Sam asked.

"Gerion is on the left, Jocelyn on the right." Catelyn replied. "That is the heir to Casterly Rock, can you believe it?"

Sam looked shocked. "Well...that umm, certainly explains the hair. Does Jon...I mean the Lord Commander, does the Lord Commander know that?"

"My daughters may have told him, though I doubt it." She bent down next to them and wrapped the furs closer to them. "Though I think that it is important that he is aware of my current situation. Would it be alright if I left them here while I speak with him?"

"Oh, we'll be just fine here my Lady." The maester smiled.

* * *

The Lord Commander's room was just as Catelyn had expected. There were tallow candles burning by the window sill and a fire burning on the left wall where a white direwolf was laying asleep. Sansa and Arya weren't there as she had expected, however. For the first time in countless moons, Catelyn Tully and Jon Snow were alone.

"My lady, all of Castle Black's hospitality's are yours." He remained seating as he spoke. "However, I was hoping for an explanation for your sudden arrival." She sat down opposite him and sighed, interlacing her fingers and staring at the ground.

"I'm sure a lot has happened for you since we last saw each other, Lord Commander." She started. "Much has happened for me as well. I have reason to believe that Bran and Rickon were not killed when Theon Greyjoy took Winterfell and have come North to find them. As for, well, my party, they are tribesmen from the Vale and family."

Jon took a moment for that to sink in. "How could you know that Bran and Rickon are still alive? Men claimed to have seen their bodies hanging from Winterfell's walls, black with tar."

"Black with tar." Catelyn repeated. "They were boys, true, but not my boys. They could have been anyone for all we know. I don't know where they are or where to find them, but I do know that they live. Lady Mormont had heard whispers of Rickon being on the isle of Skagos with a wildling woman and I had hoped to go there to see if it was true."

"You want to go to Skagos?" Jon's eyebrows raised. "The island if full of cannibals, my lady, if Rickon was there it is very unlikely he lived long. I'm sorry to say it but they are gone."

She shook her head. "No. They aren't, I...you wouldn't believe me if I told you how, but just know that I do."

"I think you'll find I'll believe a great manner of things, my lady." He replied. "I have seen things that shouldn't exist, I've seen terrible wonders that have shaken me to my very core. Believe be when I say whatever you have to say will not shock me."

"It may not shock you, but you will think me mad. Gods, you probably already think me mad. I am going to Skagos, but I am not taking my children with me. We may not get along but I know you are family to Sansa and Arya so I am asking you to protect them when I am not here. If not for me, for the father you both share, for the man I loved." She paused, taking a deep breath. "And as for the babes, I hope you will protect them for me as well. They are well loved by my daughters and, if nothing else, have valuable blood ties."

"They are Lannisters." He said; it wasn't a question. Their golden hair would make it hard for anyone to think otherwise. "I'm assuming Tywin's, though I suppose they could be Tyrion's."

"Their sire is lord Tywin." She confirmed. "Though I was wed to him against my will and never intended to have any other children. I almost took moon tea but I hadn't the heart for it." Catelyn stood up to leave but paused when she got to the door. "I'm sorry, Jon. For everything, how I made you feel as a child. I was unfair to you and I see that now. I am not seeking your forgiveness, only that you know that I am sorry."

"You were forgiven a long time ago, my lady." He smiled at her before she left him alone to think.

* * *

 ** _Total apologies for lack of updates and for the total crapness of this chapter. I'll try and update soon and I promise the next one will be better. Also I've written a chapter of a new story called Grey Waters about Cat and Ned (Modern AU) and if anyone like them then I hope you check it out xx_**

 ** _Also, I haven't edited this properly so there will probably be mistake sry :((_**


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